Who could forget the the cartoon Captain Planet? You know, the one about the gay superhero and his ambiguously gay planeteers? I for one cant, in fact I’m quite sure it’s a toss up between the one known as Captain Planet and Robin as the gayest super heroes of all time. Needless to say I didn’t stay up till 3am on a Friday night (or Saturday morning if you’re one of those people) to talk about green super hero tights, instead I stayed up so I could talk about the man himself…Captain Planet!

Save the Planet or Ill Fucking Kill You

Ok maybe not so much Captain Planet

Busted, Im not here to talk about Captain Planet and that uber ridiculous cartoon. I did have a moment this afternoon when I was on my way home from work thinking about the cartoon that’s morals were to “Protect the Environment” and “be kind to the environment”. Being a kid growing up I could care less about what the moral of that show was, I was more so interested in which store would sell me one of those badass rings the planeteers had. Fast forward to today and I’m still looking for one (or all) of those badass rings so I can kick the ever living shit out of everyone out there who at least doesn’t make a conscious effort to perhaps save at least one more day of this planet.

I had never thought to much of myself as someone who overly cared about what’s happening with all our shitty waste in fact it probably wasn’t until working for the town of Beaverlodge some 10 (or so) odd years ago that I began to realize we are making this planet a shitty place to live for our kids and our kids kids. Last spring only sealed my impressions that this planet could be unbearable to live in before we end up bombing everyone to death. Don’t believe me? All you need to do is take a drive around the city or town once the snow has all but melted and see how many plastic bags are either blowing in the wind, stuck in trees, or caught on barb wired fences.

Plastic Bags Blow

Trillions of plastic bags are made each year using millions of gallons of oil. The end result is mostly garbage. Once thought of as a way to help keep forests from being cut down, the plastic bag is now one of the most common forms of pollution. Last spring while still living in Edmonton I made a trip out to St. Albert to visit my brother. My journey over involved cruising past an open field with a barbed wire fence running along side it, the road was no more then 2km long before my turnoff but I still remember it like it was yesterday as I could have counted 200 plastic bags stuck on this fence. Disgusting!

Sadly that trip and seeing those plastic bags wouldn’t be the worst thing I would see.

On the way back being stopped at a light I look across the road to see a young Broad (let me rephrase that, she doesn’t deserve that class it takes to be a broad), bitch who had opened her door and literally thrown her garbage in the middle of the road. The light turned green and off she sped not thinking twice about the atrocity she had just committed.

It was one of the moments in my life where I was actually in disbelief at what I had just seen. I thought to myself “are people really that pathetic and lazy”. Apparently they are. I’m not sure why its so hard for someone to keep garbage in their vehicle for 20 more minutes and throw it in the garbage to where it can at least be disposed of to where it’s designated. Again..apparently not because today as I was driving home I had about 4 cigarette butts thrown at me and a bag of garbage.

Start Caring

Your Kids Future Swimming Hole

Our generation will be alright but for all you family orientated people I know out there let me ask you this, “do you want your children to pay for your laziness?” 99.9 % of you I’m willing to bet are saying “No” yet we continue to have blinders on when it comes to something so simple as even recycling. Bottles…great, but let’s face it most of that is because you receive money back in return. Computers, televisions, magazines, phone books, etc, I still see a lot of people throwing these things in the trash. I had the privilege of seeing where that all went this summer when I took ample trips to the dump.

Worst part about that trip was seeing the 100 or so garbage bags that people we’re taking to the dump on the side of the road in the ditch. “Hey buddy we just lost a bag of garbage”….”Ah F&$& it!”.

I’m No Saint

I wont come on here claiming to be some sort of superhero like Captain Planet but I try my best to do my part. I don’t shop with plastic bags (and if I do I return them to be reused or give them back to the store), I recycle not just bottles but all my electronic equipment that I’ve burnt through over the past 10 years, I clean up after myself, I refuse to throw trash out the window of my vehicle, for that matter if anyone does it while they’re riding with me they will either go pick it up or not be sitting in the passenger seat with me again.

Baby steps people, it doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to make this world a better place to live. If we started today we would have 100% employment for decades trying to clean up the mess we’ve created. The good news is cities are slowly starting to follow suit with the banning of plastic bags and with a little push from the UN it may become a reality. I dont doubt some of you are thinking it’s silly but there is no denying that this world has a problem, one needs look no further then Garbage Island in the Pacific Ocean.

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, also described as the Pacific Trash Vortex, is a gyre of marine litter in the central North Pacific Ocean located roughly between 135° to 155°W and 35° to 42°N and estimated to be twice the size of Texas.[1] The patch is characterized by exceptionally high concentrations of suspended plastic and other debris that have been trapped by the currents of the North Pacific Gyre. Despite its size and density, the patch is not visible from satellite photography because it consists of very small pieces, almost invisible to the naked eye [2] and most of its contents are suspended beneath the surface of the ocean

Garbage Island is two times the size of Texas and growing

Do Your Part

Please, I like to think I still have many good years left (5 maybe) and I would hate to see it be ruined by getting mysteriously suffocated to death by a plastic bag or drinking some tainted water. This is probably one of the more sincere blogs I will ever write on this website because believe it or not it is one of the few things that really has my attention. Our habits will be a direct result of how our kids, our kids kids, and our kids kids kids act. Think about it and think about the future.

If not Ill have to sick Ted Turner on your ass