I made a similar post about a year ago referencing the funnier search terms people have used to find this website and while those terms have gotten worse (or better if you think like me) my all time favorite is still the dubious “Beaverlodge Porn” reference that led them to hotstickybun (read that post here).

Thus today marks the beginning of a retarded feature Im sure no one will care about. With that said here are April’s top ten search terms used to find hotstickybun.

#10 – hockey fans lower intelligene

Nothing to randy about this one, I just found it oddly humorous that a guy that is searching Google about how hockey fans “supposedly” lower ones intelligence can’t spell the word intelligence to begin with.

#09 – pierre mcguire gay for mike richards

Ever since my rant on being sick of hearing Pierre McGuire and his obvious man crushes on Mike Richards, Dion Phaneuf, and Sidney Crosby on TSN I , along with many others begin to wonder if McGuire switch hits. I have nothing against McGuire but I have to wonder at times if he gets a little to emotionally involved with his supposed man crushes, case in point his incessant love in with the Flames in the first round of the 2009 playoffs.

#08 – nice ass

Umm gee, thanks.

#07 – bud light lime edmonton

Nothing overly special, just felt it was time to let everyone know that this beer will FINALLY be available in Edmonton come May 19th. Thank god because my stash is down to one case.

#06 – oil city roadhouse girls

Apparently the constant rambling and ample times I’ve been to this bar has somehow led some guy trying to find the low down on the near naked women running the beer tubes. My advice, you have no shot at picking them up and if you do teach me how.

#05 – how to apologize for a drunk text

Personally I think if you’re using the internet to try and find out how to apologize for doing something stupid you got bigger problems then the drunk text you sent. The internet is for porn, MP3′s, and researching the STD you think you caught.

#04 – tony romo porn

Is Tony Romo the latest to make a sex tape or something? I dont know who or what would be trying to find this but I’m sure much like the Paris Hilton sex tape this one would be right up there based solely on Jessica Simpson, even if she has packed on the pounds.

#03 – trophymaterial gay

I don’t know what this means nor do I want to find out.

#02 – www.hot photos camera bad room my sister

This one is the usual WTF of the list and if your thinking the same thing I am…well then I don’t know what you’re thinking.

And finally…

#01 – caught the clap from hooker

I don’t know what’s funnier, the fact that you weren’t smart enough to wear a condom or the fact that by entering this into Google it led you to this website.

Well I guess I’ll start with the spare computer I have.  As everyone of my friends know Im going to Phoenix this November for a month but to get ready for the adventure down south I was preparing one of my developing computers for the house so I could work on some stuff while I’m soaking up some sun.  I’m probably the only person you know who still doesn’t have a laptop (although after today that tops my “to purchase” list).  To kick things off I had to reformat the computer and wipe out Linux (even though I didnt want to, but Linux and Photoshop just aren’t there yet), once that was accomplished I had to reinstall windows and luckily for me Microsoft blows ass when it comes to SATA support so of course my hard drive wouldn’t recognize thus making a windows install a pain in the ass.

Not wanting to track down the drivers from DELL and not wanting to make a new image with the SATA drives on it I decided to take out a spare drive I had in another computer which uses a different connection.  I figured hey, I’m not using this other drive anyway (it was originally used to test out Ubuntu which I put on the other computer anyway) so I’ll just use it.  Fortunately for me DELL’s genius engineering (and my lack of focus) they put the primary drive on the bottom and the secondary on the top which means I took the main drive out of my main computer, the one with allllllllllll my work on it over the past four years, and erased it.  That means any websites I was working on, any brochures, flyers, you name it are all gone and I get to start over from scratch.  All my emails gone, all my contacts gone.  SUPER.

Luckily I did manage to back up a few things a couple weeks ago but most of it was old anyway.

Wait it gets worse.

Having a chuckle about it I decided not to stress to much about it (like I stress much anyway) and start the reformatting on all the computers and rebuild.  Well a fresh format and install usually takes some time so I figured I would play some XBOX 360 to kill the time.  Upon firing up the machine I get the dreaded…

THREE RED LIGHTS OF DEATH

SHIT! 

In a matter of 25 minutes I managed to erase everything I’ve worked on for the past three years, all the summer projects I was doing, and lose my XBOX in the process. 

It’s a good thing I’m going home tomorrow because I think Im going to need some quality time with Mr. Smirnoff. 

If you think you can top that for a bad day please do share.

There are a few things still needed to be updated and eventually more stuff will get updated as the weeks pass on but hopefully some more people will hop on board and become interested in contributing to the website, like I told these other two yahoos you can write about anything, from your balls itching to the 300 pound hamburger you decided to eat this past weekend.

So if that sounds like something you’d be interested feel free to send me an email, leave a comment here, or look me up on Facebook.

But enough of that, talking about packing is only making me more bored much like Im sure this article will make most of you bored. Some of you are asking just what the hell is the point of all this rambling, well its simple, to ease my boredness for 5 minutes or so I decided to take a look at my web site traffic. I can hear hundreds of you saying WHOOPEE, well you’re right but I did have to share with you some of my findings.

I have steadily been increasing in traffic the past couple months (nothing even close to gawk at though) but that’s not what interests me most times, what interests me is reading through the search keyphrases people use to find HotStickyBun. I don’t know why I didn’t do this before because there are some absolute doozies but I’m going to start it now…

Introducing HotStickyBun’s favorite keyphrases

Ill start with a simple one that is both non pornographic and doesnt contain bad language.

1. Wednesday bike night Edmonton – Little did you all know I’ve been organizing bike nights throughout the city of Edmonton in my spare time.

Cue the weird stuff…

2. Nut Sack Tugging – I’m at a loss for this one like I am with most, but nut sack tugging? Who in there right mind is interested in tugging on ones nuts??? Unless of course you’re some deranged ex-girlfriend seeking the ultimate Mortal Kombat finishing move, imagine Sonya Blade yanking off Johnny Cages nuts. Purely awesome.

3. Hot and Stickie – Aside from the obvious it resembles my name but Im curious as to what one is looking up with the two words hot and stickie….not to mention the word sticky is spelt wrong.

4. www.hot girls with douchebags – You’re a douchebag for searching this and an even bigger douchebag for thinking this website had any of that filth.

5. gifts that get you laid – Who needs gifts buddy when you got roofies!

6. tough man porn – Maybe someone can help me out on this but what the hell is tough man porn, Im somewhat intrigued…is it some guy lifting weights with the LD or perhaps he is somehow bench pressing and thrusting at the same time.

7. sticky bun pants for kids – If there is such thing I want a pair and honestly I feel sorry for any parents who had to visit this website looking for children’s clothing.

8. masterbaiters – Ok busted.

9. is matrubation good for health – If it is I’m probably the healthiest person alive!

10. ejaculation reduces cancer risk – Question or fact? Hmmmmm, anyone know any porn stars who had cancer?

11. are there any gay nhl players in 2008 – Apparently gay hockey players switch teams (if you know what I mean) every other year.

12. carcinogens accumulate in your prostate that come out with your semen – Say it with me folks, what…the…fuck??!!

and finally my favorite…

13. Beaverlodge Porn – I couldnt help but laugh at this one wondering just which pervert out there in god’s country is clinging onto a last shred of hope looking up porno made in Beaverlodge. Im looking towards Stilly, Matt, Vern, maybe even Benny…he always told me he should of been a porn star.

Sound made up? Maybe but if you don’t believe me I’ve provided the key phrases below.

The majority of the site isn’t configured to match the main page look but will be at some point tomorrow. Things will be squirting all over the place in the next couple days until I determine what looks sexy enough to be submitted to some design sites so I can see how it stacks up.

Walks
www.hotstickybun.com