I can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack, I believe in peacekeeping, not policing, diversity not assimilation,and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal. A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and it IS pronounced Zed, not Zee… ZED!!

Canada is the 2nd largest land mass, the 1st nation of hockey, and the best part of North America….my name is Walks and I AM CANADIAN!!!

Sidney Crosby Celebrates His Golden Goal

Canadian Patriotism Shines Through

It was a perfect end to an absolutely stunning Winter Olympics. After spending the better part of 8 hours watching the final day of the games I couldn’t help but have a huge smile on my face and become even prouder (if that was possible) to be a Canadian. Here we were as a nation so anxiously awaiting the gold medal game in Men’s hockey Sunday morning knowing full well that even despite all the success we had with the ample amount of gold medals we won it still wouldn’t be the same if we didn’t capture the one medal that meant most to us as a nation.

Now I know there are lots of people who don’t watch hockey religiously like most of the people I tend to be involved with but even if you weren’t a hockey fan you became one Sunday afternoon and watched as an extremely proud nation became that much prouder in what will be a game all of us won’t ever forget. In fact it was almost fitting to see Sidney Crosby score the game winner, it truly put a spectacular finishing touch on what turned out to be some of the best Olympics I’ve ever had the privilege to witness…the only crime was not being in Vancouver for any moment of it, something I will undoubtedly regret the rest of my life. If there is one thing I will do however it will be to attend one whether it be in Sochi or somewhere else in the world.

Inspirational

There is something to be said when it comes to the Olympic games. I often find myself sitting and watching as a world embraces sport and forgets about all the bad things happening in the world for two weeks and think to myself why on earth can’t we use this as an example as to how as a civilization we should be. It’s amazing how something so simple can bring people together from different countries, race, and religion to become one and respect one another regardless. It seems silly to say but even as Canadians we will go back to our stubborn ways, you can almost bet that come the next Flames/Canucks game a fight could break out, people won’t respect one another, and yet bitter political enemies involved in the Olympics can get along just fine over the course of two weeks.

Hockey Opponents Embrace

I suppose that’s what the winter games are made of. I’m sure there are literally hundreds of inspirational stories. Look no further then the two recipients of the 2010 Terry Fox Award.

Joannie Rochette touched a nation when the 24-year-old Ile Dupas, Que. native skated to bronze in the ladies’ event just four days after the sudden passing of her mother. Theresa Rochette, 55, died of a heart attack shortly after arriving in Vancouver to watch her daughter compete in the Games. With the weight of a country and Olympic community behind her, the six-time national champion became the first Canadian female figure skater to reach the podium since Elizabeth Manley claimed silver at the 1988 Calgary Games.

Petra Majdic crashed during training for the cross-country individual sprint classic, falling off the course and into rocks, suffering a collapsed lung and four broken ribs. Determined to compete in the final and unaware to the extent of her injuries, the 30-year-old skier fought through unbearable pain to win bronze, her country’s first medal of the Games.

Whether you’re male or female both women are an inspiration to all of us and have provided us with unforgettable performance.

The Canadian Experience

I suppose one shouldn’t forget how we showed the world what it feels like to be Canadian. There was something about this Olympic Games that was in one word “refreshing”. If there was one general mood that could act as a theme for these Olympic Games, it was that little bit of humour and self-deprecation. The closing ceremonies Sunday night ended up a fantastic finish to showcase our culture, compassion, and of course our utter goofiness. It’s as almost if we are that country that is there to lighten the mood at the party, something we had no problem doing as the games officially came to a close.

Beware of Canada's Giant Inflatable Beavers

The final performances we’re what we as Canadians are all about it. Despite the embarrassment of the opening ceremonies and the tragedy that opened the games there was something you saw in the streets, and something expressed in the closing ceremony that helped showcase the world what we do better then any other nation. There were outsized displays of nationalism, which is to be expected, given the setting, but more than that was the evidence that this is a country now more willing to laugh at itself. We not only let Stephen Colbert call us syrup-suckers, we revelled in it.

It was only fitting Sunday night when Vanoc CEO John Furlong said in his speech: “Now you know us, eh?”

That little “eh” was the keystone to an evening of fun, even if it was at our own expense. William Shatner’s comment that “I’m proud of the fact that we Canadians can have four beers and still pronounce ‘the Strait of Juan de Fuca’ without being censored;” Catherine O’Hara’s moment on Canadian politeness fell a touch flat but kept with the current theme of being Canadian, then there was Michael J. Fox’s moment. (who was spectacular when he helped open the mens hockey with one of those epic opening montages). Wearing a toque when it comes to a bad hair day or wearing a maple leaf regardless of having lived in the States the past 30 years, he could have got a standing ovation just standing there.

Then of course there was Michael Buble and his Broadway production. It was one of the most ridiculous yet wonderfully entertaining performances that I will remember the rest of my life. It was almost as if I had the thought I was watching a new moment in Canada’s image of itself. Dancing Mounties, the giant wooden Mounties being wheeled out, dancing maple leaf broadjournos, and the jigging coureurs des bois in their canoes. Yet as most of this was going on I couldnt help think we we’re missing two important pieces to this puzzle. Just as I thought that of course income the giant beavers and moose. Yet best of all was the giant hockey table game, which was pure genius and a Canadian inside joke that caused a pang in the heart of every Canadian kid of a certain age (notice the gold medals on the hockey players?), it was brilliant, all of it. The joke on us, by us.

The only thing missing was some form of Maple Syrup.

The closing ceremonies we’re exactly what they were supposed to be…fun!

Which is exactly what, for the most part, these 2010 Winter Olympics Games were all about.

Be proud Vancouver and more importantly Canada, you made this goofy kid one happy Canadian!

Alex Bilodeau will remember this one for a life time

As the rest of the games went on, it seemed all too familiar. The odd bronze, a silver here and there, and a lot of fourth/fifth finishes. Then something started happening. Canada was winning golds. We kept hearing about the COC stating that we will not meet our projected medal count, but nothing was being said about all the first place golden finishes we were having. It didn’t seem like much, but we were in fact keeping up with the US, Germany, and Norway in Gold count. It wasn’t until the last couple of days when we all started to realize, hey, we can make this OUR Olympics. With golds rolling in everywhere from pair ice dancing, skeleton, bobsleigh, curling, ski cross and speed skating, it seemed we were on the right track to head to the record books. And don’t worry girls I won’t forget to mention the Womens hockey team owning the States to win us yet another gold. In the 17th and final day of the Olympics, with 13 gold medals (a tie for the most won by a country in a single winter olympics) we had one last shot to be the sole holder of that record with another gold. Mens Hockey.

Canadian women (Kaillie Humphries and Heather Moyse) capture gold in the 2 man bobsled

Ashleigh McIvor captures the first ever Gold in Women's Ski Cross

Canadian skip Kevin Martin shows off his golden hardware

The Canadian women's hockey team knows how to celebrate Gold!

I couldn’t have written a better finish myself. In what some were calling the greatest hockey tournament of all time, Canada would face America in the final. With the USA being undefeated and the top team in the preliminary round, and Canada having a questionable first couple games, however only losing to the States all tournament, it was a match made in Heaven to battle it out for Gold. Canada vs USA. We all knew we were in for a treat, but none could have predicted what was about to happen on that Sunday afternoon in Vancouver at Canada Place. With Canada up 2-1, and the clock ticking down to under 30 seconds left in the 3rd, the unthinkable happened. An entire country let out a collective gasp as Zach Parise and the Americans tied the game. With celebration of victory in our grasp, it was gone in an instant. But what would come of this is a moment that no Canadian will ever forget. What seemed like a broken play by the referee in overtime, Crosby poked the puck back into the corner to Jarome Iginla. No less than a micro second later you could hear Crosby yell at the top of his lungs, “IGGY” as he headed for the net. In one quick sweep Iggy fed Sid the puck and in an instant it was in the back of the net. The entire country erupted. Sidney Crosby with the golden goal, probably the biggest goal he will ever score. The biggest anone has had since Lemieux in ’87, and even Henderson’s in ’72. What a perfect way to end it. We are back on top of the world in hockey, right where we should be. Here is an image that is burned into my memory, as the replay keeps playing over, and over in my head. What a goal.

The goal that brought a country to it's feet

Now as I watch the all the replays and recaps of these Olympics, I, like Pat Quinn, can’t help but shed a tear. We should all be so proud of our athletes, and we should all be so proud to be Canadian. We are a great nation, and there is none other out there like us. I mean, who else would poke fun at themselve like we did in the Closing ceremonies? Not Russia, that’s for sure. All in all, these games were great. I wish I could of been there in person to experience it all like a few friends of mine that got the chance. But I think I was there, in that arena especially. Along with 36 million other people, as we scored that goal, and made Olympic history. Man, I Love being Canadian!

win·ter (wntr)
n.
1. The usually coldest season of the year, occurring between autumn and spring, extending in the Northern Hemisphere from the winter solstice to the vernal equinox, and popularly considered to be constituted by December, January, and February.
2. A year as expressed through the recurrence of the winter season.
3. A period of time characterized by coldness, misery, barrenness, or death.

n winter [ˈwintə]
the coldest season of the year We often have snow in winter; (also adjective ) winter evenings.

Winter Olympics, more like Spring Olympics!

I love sports. Sports, sports, sports. Come the culmination of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver my mood will be somber, albeit not as somber as not being there right now, but something about this winter Olympics seems to be lacking. Perhaps it’s to early to say that, perhaps it’s because mens ice hockey hasn’t started, but I think the real reason something doesn’t feel right about this Winter Olympics is because “IT’S NOT WINTER”.

Already being noted as the warmest city ever to host the Olympics it didn’t help and doesn’t continue to help that Vancouver is having record temperatures over the course of this Winter Olympics. I hate the cold like anyone else but being able to attend events potentially in shorts and/or a T-shirt isn’t right. They should have held the opening ceremonies inside the Beaverlodge Arena instead, it’s always miserably cold and snowy here.

To Much Pressure?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock the last 24 hours you’ve heard Canada has finally won it’s first gold medal and more importantly it’s first gold medal ever on home soil. Montreal native Alexandre Bilodeau captured gold last night in the men’s moguls helping the entire nation breathe a collective sigh of relief. Over the course of past three year’s all us Canadians have had the reoccurring media voice telling us this could be Canada’s year to win it all. My response to that is to tell them to “shut the hell up”.

Alexandre Bilodeau captures Canada's first gold medal

Let the athletes do their thing, in my personal opinion they don’t need the extra pressure added onto them if they fail to deliver. Why? Because then you have dicks like me complaining about not winning enough medals and seeing power house countries who spend ridiculously into their athletes always walking away with medals. Regardless the Olympics isn’t always about winning, it’s about inspiration. In some cases it’s about both, like our gold medal winner Mr. Bilodeau.

Dale Begg Smith

In other cases it’s about douchebagery, like Mr Begg Smith who couldn’t even care to look interested in reaching the podium for silver. There is a reason people are booing you Smith, your spyware makes sweet innocent people such as myself have to clean computers and you just won a silver medal and apparently could give two f$&%’s. Personally I hope in your endevours in Vancouver you catch gonorrhea.

Your Favorite Moment

It’s still early but for all you lucky people attending the Olympics I’d like to hear you’re favorite moment so far of this winter Olympics. I know all of us eat breath and sleep hockey and a men and womens gold like the Salt Lake Olympics will arguably be the biggest moment for a lot of us but some of the greatest moments will be the ones that no one is expecting.

Till next time kiddos

(PS, Luke/Zimms smarten up!)

As I said, I’m now all about konfidence. Some may even say its my middle name…I’ll leave that one to you. Shi**y occurrences dominate our society. I challenge you to open one media outlet and easily find an encouraging headline. As my colleague (and bfff) noted in The State Of Our Union, the world is a brutal place. So I’ve taken it upon myself to shove rays of sunshine up everyone’s ass today and share with you some past, present and future tales that should put a fat grin on your face.

✔ First of all, I would like to announce a solution to a newfound problem faced by members of the aquarium. It may take some commitment, but I am confident my friends will come through. I have found a place for thy aquarium to reside. When I say thy, I mean all 11 members. It needs a little reno work, but I’m sure if we all pitch in a team effort we can transform it into something worthy of sea beasts and crustaceans. Two words will lure other underwater inhabitants to our new home like the mating calls of dolphins, elk, and the Big Show: Jacuzzi Tub. Can anyone say soak?

The New Aquarium

✔ Second, hats off to the Saints – Vikings game this past sunday. Scratch that, no one wants to see Drew Brees without a lid on his melon. But whether you enjoy the gridiron or not, you cannot deny the fact this game was one worthy of greatness. Don’t believe me? This game (54 million) was the most viewed non-Superbowl television event since the Seinfeld finale in 1998 (75 million). I guess this goes to show how epic Seinfeld is. The Saints have turned a city once ravaged by Katrina and on the brink of self destruction, back into the proud and illustrious party we all know and love. I say Mardi Gras! (and no, you cannot get beads for seeing Big Show’s 54 D’s). It wasn’t all bad for Viking fans either. They will now all know the answer to a question in the 2011 edition of Trivial Pursuit: Who was the only quarterback in NFL history to end his career…twice…on an interception in the NFC title game? ⬇

✔ A passing grade for myself today for getting a high school student’s phone number at a bus stop and wearing a Jonathan Toews jersey to MRU. One act took a lot of balls and the other might turn into a date. Even though I’m scared she might be too old for me, a guy can hope can’t he?

✔ Wow. This can’t be right. Another check-mark for yours truly? Thats right ladies, the upcoming weeks of my life definitely deserve some recognition. My newly tagged Calgary nickname of “Holiday” has caught on nicely, and I intend to fit the mold. This weekend, two fellow sea creatures arrive in the big C for Oilers/Flames, good times, hearty laughter, and probably a few soda pops. To be honest, I’m scared for my safety as Sea Otter has been known to step outside the box. Stay tuned next week for an update, pictures and video from the weekend that was (or what I remember of it).

And last but not least, it seems fitting on the day Apple introduces the iPad, I announce something bigger. I have officially booked the best trip in human history. I’m going to leave the details vague to allow pictures do the explaining when I get back. I will provide a sneak peak exclusive to HSB. Key words: Gonzaga Bulldogs, Bandon Dunes, Golf, Alcohol, Shortys, Oregon Ducks, U.S. Open, Shortys, Olympics, Sunfire, Wolf Pack and Shortys. Look for Luke this time next month…as I hopefully survive my ordeal. One secret I will share…HSB has never been represented in photos better than what I have planned. Bonjourno.

This article has been brought to you by the letter W, for Wholy Fu*k: Luke’s word of the month for February. Because honestly, thats all I’ll be able to say come March.

Oh…and don’t think cuz I’m iced out I’ma cool off.

Arreviderci

2010 Men’s Olympic Hockey Team. I think we should all consider ourselves lucky to witness undoubtably the greatest, yet highly overrated mystery in Canadian history. Who are the 23 men who will take to the ice in Vancouver and try to amend for the utter shameful disaster that was Torino in 2006? For months now experts, analysts and fans alike have debated over this issue, made personalized rosters, and even went as far as to joining a hockey pool based on picking the team. Are you f#$*ing kidding me! We have the best advisory committee in the world choosing the men who will lead us to gold, so do you think I give a flying f%@! what a three dollar crack head thinks who believes TUUK is his shirt residing within his jeans? I’ll let you figure that one out. It is time we leave Stevie Y to do what he does best…win. Thats it. Just shut the f*@! up.

Speaking of crack heads, I’m god damn sick and tired of that pear shaped Harry Potter motherf%$#er on TSN being alive, let alone voicing opinion on our Olympic team. For those who do not know, his picks for team Canada are as follows: Brodeur-Luongo-Price-Bouwmeester-Niedermayer-Phaneuf-Weber-Burns-Green-Boyle-Crosby-Iginla-Lecavalier-Heatley-Getzlaf-Nash-Carter-Thorton-Gagne-Morrow-Richards-Doan-Savard.

I’ll leave you a minute to digest that, think who you would leave on, take off…or insert a large knife directly into your face like I did. I will make one thing quite clear, if this in anyway resembles the team I have to cheer for in Vancouver, I will become an American citizen and tattoo Herb Brooks’ miracle on ice speech in the space between my foreskin and the head of my cock. Have we as a nation completely forgot who we are?  It would explain the parody of hockey we displayed in ’06 thats for damn sure. Mide as well skip the pleasantries and go directly to painting us red, slapping a yellow star, hammer and sickle on our testicles and let us call Ovechkin our daddy.

Does anyone remember 2002? Ok, how about Salt Lake? You know, that minor detail that was arguably the biggest moment in Canadian hockey history? Ahhh, there ya go! Think of that roster. That gold medal was won on the shoulders of a man with one leg…the elbows of a son-of-a-bitch from Dryden Ontario…the blood of Burnaby Joe…the tears of The Great One. Not on the nose of a highlight reel hoax in Calgary or the band-aid on the only frenchman in Philly. Jesus Christ. This is who we are people. Canadians. We win by passion. We win by heart. We win not because we should, but because we want it more than anyone ever will. So each and every one of you get off the bandwagon great starts by a bunch of 20 year olds in the regular season will win this thing. F#@! Winning is a learned trait not inherited one. Ask Sid.

I hear Green over Pronger, Stamkos over Marleau, Price over Fluery…the list goes on and on. Why not send the circus? If we’re not going to send our best…f#$@ send the Hythe Mustangs. In case you haven’t noticed, 1st is the only option. Contrary to popular belief, these young players will fold like a cheap tent and we will lose. Don’t believe me? Check out some stats in the playoffs for half these guys then come bitch at me like you know what you’re talking abut. Hell, if it were up to me I would put Emery and Avery on that team before half the jokes people have been saying. At least we know these two would do whatever it takes to win. Avery would allow us to charge the Russians with murder, and Emery would K.O. anyone who threw rubber his way. They would shut up and know their role. Even though these two may not be the most honorable or popular players, they are closer to the identity of Canadian team than visor wearing fairies who throw up points in the show but have no clue what it takes to win.

Development for the future you say? There will be no future if we do not put forth an ass kicking, face pounding, team of 23 Jarome Iginlas screaming f!*$ the world. Because in case you have forgot, “I know the whole world wants us to lose except Canada and Canadian fans. We respect every team we play. We don’t dislike them. Maybe when we start to dislike them, we play better. I don’t think we dislike these countries as much as they hate us, and that’s a fact. They don’t like us. They want to see us fail. They love beating us. And we’ve got to get the same feeling toward them. It almost sickens my stomach to turn the TV on because I’m such a proud Canadian and such a fan of our game and proud of all the players in our locker room. It makes me ill, some of the things that are said about us.”

Anyone who follows the sports world in this country has heard it played repeatedly since the games in Vancouver were announced. 2010 is Canada’s coming out party. In 2010 Canada will be battling for the top spot in medals. 2010 Canada will make some noise. The real question is if anyone should believe the hype.

2008 wasn’t a terrible performance but it was looking pretty grim there for awhile as Canada struggled to get going early on. Thinking about it it’s almost comical the way this usually happens at each Olympic games. Days go by as Canada struggles to hit the podium, Canadians and the media begin to question what’s wrong with our athletic programs, and then the moment someone finally reaches the podium the medals seem to come in at a much more acceptable rate. In case you didnt follow the games Canada had 18 medals this year, up from 12 in Athens in 2004 and 14 from Sydney in 2000. Based on past success this isn’t terrible by any means but it certainly isn’t as good as some think we should be doing.

I suppose my biggest gripe is our overall attitude towards our performance. While spending my last summer vacation up at Lloyd Lake I had to endure countless “I’m happy with my performance and am looking to better on it for 2012″. It was almost as if half our athletes were satisfied with finishing 6th, 8th, 16th etc. Isn’t it a little disappointing to train for four hard years only to come to an event where everyone is cheering and depending on you only to not qualify or finish last. I would of been happy to see something as simple as a “I’m disappointed with my performance but will look to build on it the next four years.”

If there was ever a team for inspiration it was the Mens 8 Rowing. After having to listen to critics and deal with there poor performance from Athens these guys took it upon themselves to come away from Beijing with nothing less then the gold medal, anything else just wasn’t sufficient. With somewhat of a cocky (but subtle) arrogance they knew they were the best and knew they should win, and guess what, they did.

Perhaps that’s what’s been lacking in this program. A lot of Canucks wont tune to NBC for Olympic coverage because they hate to deal with the U.S announcers bloating its country and its athletes, but when you tend to consistently be in the top 3 countries for medal totals I would think you have some sort of right to talk yourself up.

With all that said though lets face it, the Summer Olympics aren’t Canada’s cup of tea. Our Olympic success as a country is based on what we do in the winter games and come 2010 we should finally have a chance to make other countries take notice. Barring some bad roster decisions like 2006 we should have a legitimate shot at gold in both Womens and Mens hockey again. Curling should be a lock. Speed skating (both short and long track) should carry high hopes and even our alpine ski team seems to have started to turn the corner along the way to 2010. If any winter athletes are looking to draw inspiration on walking away with nothing less then gold they need look no further then either of our hockey teams as this entire nation and its players wont settle for anything less.

The Summer games are over and we are approximately a year and a half away from what should be Canada’s coming out party. With the way the media and its athletes are hyping the next edition of winter Olympic athletes anything less then a top 5 finish in medal count will be nothing short of embarrassing.

Walks

PS. I’ll miss you womens beach volleyball.