Now, back to the glory that is the weekend. So little to do, so much time.  Isn’t that the truth about Grande Prairie. At least this weekend it will be easier to take my mind of the fact that I still live here. With UFC111 happening saturday night, as well as new episodes of both Departures and The Pacific airing, my time will be filled quite nicely. Take it easy Friday, probably go to the gym, then party time Saturday and recooperate on Sunday with copious amounts of TV and movies.

There hasn’t been a good UFC card in the last little while so I am looking forward to what this next one has to offer. With Georges St Pierre defending his title against Dan “The Outlaw” Hardy, and Frank Mir going toe to toe with Shane Carwin for the interim Heavywight belt, this one shouldn’t be a disappointment. Not like the battle for the seniors belt that took place last month. This will likely prove to be GSP’s toughest opponent thus far, as Hardy has explosive hands with devastating knockout power. Hardy is also undefeated in the UFC, so will be looking to continue that streak. But from what I have seen in the last few weeks leading up, as far as training goes, there is no way GSP is going to lose. The man is finely tuned athletic machine, and boasts the best take down and ground game in mma. My bet goes to Canada’s favorite mixed martial artist, St Pierre winning by submission. The next headline on the card will put two mammoths for men against each other, in what will likely turn into an all out brawl. I can’t see the Carwin Mir fight going the full five rounds, and I’m picking Carwin to take the temporary belt with a TKO in either the second or third round. There should be a few pretty good undercard fights as well, as there are a couple guys making their UFC debuts who will be looking to stick around. The fights are at 8 on Saturday and what is better than watching 2 guys legally beat the crap out of each other?

Another thing that has put me in a good mood as of late is the recent sliding of the gayest hockey team in Alberta. Thats right, the Flames. With the Oilers all but locking up the first overall pick weeks ago, I conceded the shitty season in place of a #1 overall pick. (It’s gonna be Seguin, just watch) Now Flames fans on the other hand, will have to watch their team do what we Oil fans have done for oh so long. The Flames will win a couple more games, but probably end up finishing ninth behind the Red Wings, just missing the playoffs. What a sweet end to the season that will be. And to make matters even more hilarious, is that the Flames did it to themselves. They did it by trading players to become the Western Conference Leafs, and picking up the sixth d-man from the worst team in the league. Hats off to the Flames for making this year so much better for me. As long as Calgary continues their woes on the road, I feel confident I won’t be eating my words come playoff time, and the Flames will be on the outside looking in, with a mid round first pick.

Well, the NHL playoffs are on the verge, spring training is almost wrapped up to give way to the regular season in baseball, and I’m going to Phoenix. Thats right. Phoeeeeeeeeeeeeeenix. Golf, hockey and baseball, the holy trinity. I’m sure that after the trip is all wrapped up, there will be stories, pictures and videos to share with you all of our trip in the desert. Lets hope I don’t lose too many balls in the sand. Just make sure while we’re gone you don’t stick your bonjourno into any arribadercis that we wouldn’t. Neely the Seas Bass out.

As I said, I’m now all about konfidence. Some may even say its my middle name…I’ll leave that one to you. Shi**y occurrences dominate our society. I challenge you to open one media outlet and easily find an encouraging headline. As my colleague (and bfff) noted in The State Of Our Union, the world is a brutal place. So I’ve taken it upon myself to shove rays of sunshine up everyone’s ass today and share with you some past, present and future tales that should put a fat grin on your face.

✔ First of all, I would like to announce a solution to a newfound problem faced by members of the aquarium. It may take some commitment, but I am confident my friends will come through. I have found a place for thy aquarium to reside. When I say thy, I mean all 11 members. It needs a little reno work, but I’m sure if we all pitch in a team effort we can transform it into something worthy of sea beasts and crustaceans. Two words will lure other underwater inhabitants to our new home like the mating calls of dolphins, elk, and the Big Show: Jacuzzi Tub. Can anyone say soak?

The New Aquarium

✔ Second, hats off to the Saints – Vikings game this past sunday. Scratch that, no one wants to see Drew Brees without a lid on his melon. But whether you enjoy the gridiron or not, you cannot deny the fact this game was one worthy of greatness. Don’t believe me? This game (54 million) was the most viewed non-Superbowl television event since the Seinfeld finale in 1998 (75 million). I guess this goes to show how epic Seinfeld is. The Saints have turned a city once ravaged by Katrina and on the brink of self destruction, back into the proud and illustrious party we all know and love. I say Mardi Gras! (and no, you cannot get beads for seeing Big Show’s 54 D’s). It wasn’t all bad for Viking fans either. They will now all know the answer to a question in the 2011 edition of Trivial Pursuit: Who was the only quarterback in NFL history to end his career…twice…on an interception in the NFC title game? ⬇

✔ A passing grade for myself today for getting a high school student’s phone number at a bus stop and wearing a Jonathan Toews jersey to MRU. One act took a lot of balls and the other might turn into a date. Even though I’m scared she might be too old for me, a guy can hope can’t he?

✔ Wow. This can’t be right. Another check-mark for yours truly? Thats right ladies, the upcoming weeks of my life definitely deserve some recognition. My newly tagged Calgary nickname of “Holiday” has caught on nicely, and I intend to fit the mold. This weekend, two fellow sea creatures arrive in the big C for Oilers/Flames, good times, hearty laughter, and probably a few soda pops. To be honest, I’m scared for my safety as Sea Otter has been known to step outside the box. Stay tuned next week for an update, pictures and video from the weekend that was (or what I remember of it).

And last but not least, it seems fitting on the day Apple introduces the iPad, I announce something bigger. I have officially booked the best trip in human history. I’m going to leave the details vague to allow pictures do the explaining when I get back. I will provide a sneak peak exclusive to HSB. Key words: Gonzaga Bulldogs, Bandon Dunes, Golf, Alcohol, Shortys, Oregon Ducks, U.S. Open, Shortys, Olympics, Sunfire, Wolf Pack and Shortys. Look for Luke this time next month…as I hopefully survive my ordeal. One secret I will share…HSB has never been represented in photos better than what I have planned. Bonjourno.

This article has been brought to you by the letter W, for Wholy Fu*k: Luke’s word of the month for February. Because honestly, thats all I’ll be able to say come March.

Oh…and don’t think cuz I’m iced out I’ma cool off.

Arreviderci

I and a couple other sea beasts need a place to live

That’s right a new adventure is upon us. I spent the better part of 8 years living in Edmonton in a condo I owned living with a handful of different roomates and now I am inching closer to moving back into Grande Prairie…the same place I said I would never move back to almost 8 years ago. Not at all surprising considering this is where the majority of people I know live again, even people met in Edmonton for some reason pop up here…not at all sure why.

Regardless I need living accommodations

We will start with the most obvious. It has to be a house, it has to be at least 3 bedrooms and 2 bath, and most important above all it has to have a stripper pole…just kidding (or am I), actually it cant be a scuzz hole. By scuzz hole I mean somewhere that has rocks in the basement, can barely fit 3 people, or has duct tape keeping something held together. With that said we’re looking for an actual house, not a duplex, split level, townhouse etc…a HOUSE! Why? Well because I don’t think our neighbors are going to enjoy the music, company, guitar playing, and at the very least high intensity Rock Band jamming.

The sad thing is I had thought I found the perfect place not merely more then 2 hours of looking but it was to good to be true, the house appeared to only be on the market for a day (at the most). 2 living rooms, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a great backyard with fireplace, and a theater room to top it off. A perfect place for a measly $1200 a month. WHY!!! Personally I place all blame on Zimz and Stilly.

It would be a bonus

Finding a place with a hot tub. I know the bills would increase dramatically but considering the big challenge it is to try and lure the unsuspecting female back to your place having a hot tube would really increase those odds I’m sure. There is nothing better after a hard night of hockey or beer drinking then a 2am soak.

I suppose one way to look at it from my perspective is suppose we had a hot tub, that would mean 2 am soaks almost every weekend I’m sure resulting in either someone catching a disease from scuzzy water or us getting kicked out due to 27 noise complaints each weekend. Again I would blame Zimz and Stilly.

Find Us a place and

I’ll buy you a big bear for your troubles. Better yet if you wanna sell me a fantastic new house for 20 bucks I’ll name my first born child after you. We’re kind of in a rush though because RBK Robinson is coming.

In the meantime

I’ll begin preparation on updating hotstickybun. I usually do this once a year but was quite content on leaving this website for awhile as it seemed to really sky rocket in popularity the last year and a half. I’ve went from nearly topping out at 10,000 a month down to 2,000 and now I’m once again climbing back up to that mark. As much as I hate to admit it I attest much of that success is to the two writers who survived longer then two months I originally gave them. Shockingly enough Zimz post “Athletes You Love To Hate” has topped 1300 views for the month. Congratulations Zimz, you’re officially a blogging hero nerd.

Needless to say I’m still looking to improve on this website as it is something that needs to be pushed over the 10,000 views a month limit. Obviously more videos and pictures are going to be added and I’m always looking for aspiring writers to help out with the cause. With that said more highlight will be given to those other two fluffs as I’ve been slacking with some things (like the ability to look at their old posts!).

Input needed

With that said I’m only one man with one brain (albeit a very large one) but this website needs some more POW and by POW I mean more content. It’s been heavily discussed about having some trailer be put together for a show, nothing spectacular just a 10-15 minute ep here and there. Had I been thinking about this it would have been the perfect season to follow both hockey teams with all the drama and concerns following both clubs. Next year I suppose.

We will be pushing a show out once we move into our new place but it really focuses on just that. What we need are ideas. My opinion is if the people in Whistler can have a show entitled “Peak Season” the people involved in this side project are more then capable of putting on a worthwhile production.

What else would you like to see? Enter in some comments below If someone gives me a acceptable project for this website I will give you free Edmonton Oiler tickets to a select home game of my choosing! I know that’s not much incentive with the shittyness that is the Oilers but it’s a start.

Look Out For It

The new website should be launched before the spring of 2010 and it promises to be a bigger improvement on what’s running now. A lot of the same features will be seen but more content and a new look will take it well into the next year.

I know what you’re all thinking…”Why are you redoing it again Walks”

Well assholes it’s because that’s what web designers do…

Till next time let’s keep those comments coming

Happy Bonjourno aka Happy New Years!

If there is one thing I learned this week it was that I can’t give er as hard as I once used too. There were times back during the “Blades of our Lives” (most notably after an exit from the playoffs) that the team would decide on a week long episode before every player would head his own way for the summer only to convene months later back at the rink and do it all over again. Still I do have to say some of us trooped pretty hard this past week in the city despite it being Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night knowing full well a New Years party was closing in on us on Thursday.

The statisitcs for this past weeks results are as follows.

I warned you I couldn’t Take It

Kilometers Traveled:
Approx 1100
Hockey Games Watched:
6 – Canada vs Swiss, Flames vs Oilers (Live), Canada vs Slovaks, Maple Leafs vs Oilers (Live), Canada vs U.S, Oilers vs Flames
Actual Good Hockey Games Watched:
1, Canada vs U.S.A on New Years Eve
Pizza Consumed:
5 Pies, 2XL Great White Norths, 1XL Hawaiian, 1L Hawaiian, 1L Ham & Pepporoni
Other Food Consumed:
Pizza Bread, Chinese Food, Subway, Quiznos, New York Fries, Taco Time, Hudsons, Brewsters, Moxies
Pounds Gained:
514lbs amongst 4 of us because Stingy doesn’t gain weight.
Puke Spilt:
Probably 4 buckets worth between Primo the Seal and Neely the Sea Bass
Poops Spilt:
Probably 20 buckets worth as every time one got back to the hotel room one would spend 5 minutes with old faithful.
Bars Kicked Out of Or Not Allowed Entry:
1, Just On The Rocks because apparently they’re racist there.
Girls Creeped Out:
5784612, and thats only the ones known about. Something to be said about seeing sweaty sea mammals drinking in a bar that doesn’t overally impress.
Good Times Spent:
4, I’m pretty sure Sea Bass was hung over for two days and wishing he didn’t partake for 48 hours.

Needless to say the above picture represents how we all felt Friday morning, it was so bad neither of us even wanted to think about having drinks on the weekend. Instead we were dubbed the task of playing hockey and then bowling a perfect game…both of which we failed miserably.

I didn’t take any pictures from the road trip as that involves all video which I’ll upload shortly. In the meantime you can check out my shotty work from New Years Pink & White Party in the photo gallery.

The Meltdown

Monday morning started like most do…shitty. Who really enjoys Sunday knowing full well the next day actually involves doing something with ones life, whether it be school or work? I sure don’t. The only thing that kept me sane Sunday (following a fairly shitty Saturday hockey evening) was the fact I could watch the Oilers, Baseball, and Football all day. Low and behold the Oilers lost, the Yankees won, and oddly there wasn’t an overly exciting football game available on TV.

Regardless that was only the beginning. Monday morning arose with work calling and informing me that a major computer meltdown took place over the weekend and I apparently was tasked with figuring out how, what, and why this was doing that and that was doing this. Like most I’m brain dead Monday morning and having to deal with a major meltdown perhaps wasn’t the greatest thing to happen. As we speak I am still plugging away at it…and it is now 2:00 am in the morning Wednesday. The only thing I can say to that is BOOOOO!

After finally getting one problem out of the way it was time for practice…which was exactly what I was hoping for, fun! Until the end at least. Word is out another goalie is on way to help fill the void while I’m away coaching which wasn’t an issue. The issue came today when the schedule was reworked from Spirit River folding and Lips and I found out we are going to miss 11 of 20 games. So now we’re asking ourselves what the hell is the point in even playing because out of those 9 games because neither one of us know if we will even end up playing in all of them, especially as a goalie I might be lucky to get half of those. Is it worth it? Probably not.

It’s not the worst thing to happen I suppose but what the hell else do you do in this swine flu haven?

Regardless there is some light at the end of the tunnel. My new rig is on its way and a new Macbook Pro is potentially along its way too (yeah I get excited about computers and video games so what?). Above all that I’ve finally found some dates where I can go out and use the season tickets to watch some Oiler games. I was starting to worry that I wouldnt be able to visit Rexall till after February when hockey season ended but thankfully I’ve found a break in scheduling. Needless to say I think Edmonton misses the funkybunch so we’ve booked a trip to take in two games, Dec28th vs the Calgary Flames and Dec 30th vs the Toronto Maple Leafs.

To add to that there is only four of us and I have six tickets for each game so if anyone out there in internet land wants to attend let me know. The four of us will drop an executive decision and place a vote to see if you can keep up with us. If you’re female you already have a heads up on the competition! No sexual pun intended.

And before I go I better give a shout out to the Buns two newest writers Zims and Luke. I don’t know what the hell there going to talk about but both have enough to say so I’ll let them go about there business before deciding on if I should fire them or not! The wager right now is how long one thinks they will end up lasting as writers for the Bun…I’m going to go with 2 months!

I hope they prove me wrong as they may just be what I need to push over that 10,000 mark.

As for all you other people asking me about writing all you have to do is ask, it doesn’t take much to set up you just have to get in contact with me which isn’t hard either. Find me on Facebook as I’m usually idling 24/7.

Thats it, my new computer should be here this week which means I’ll finally be able to finish uploading all the wedding videos from this summer as well as some other crap that’s been hiding in the archives for to long.

Happy Halloween ho bags

Unfortunately tonight however the Detroit Red Wings eliminated the Blackhawks in game 5 of the Western Conference finals and while it is highly disappointing Chicago should be holding their heads high with what they accomplished this year. First and foremost they are one of (if not the) youngest teams in the NHL and there average age is only increased slightly thanks to a couple seasoned veterans they have on the roster. As a franchise in just one year it’s almost as if they have returned to there glory years…a competitive team is back, the fans are back, and most importantly the city of Chicago is finally talking about hockey again.

The other tragedy from tonight however took place about 30 minutes after the game when Rob Dog and I took the razor to our faces and decided it was time to get rid of the playoff beard. We debated heavily about keeping it regardless win our lose for this weekends jaunt down to Red Deer for Peca’s stag but after looking ourselves in the mirror for the past few weeks we both couldn’t take it much longer. What we got was a weird feeling and an image that made us look like we had just shaved about 10 years off of our lives.

Needless to say neither one of us can look at one another without laughing, he thinks I look like a pedophile and I think he looks like he is about 15 years old, even this extremely good looking gym girl was having a good laugh about our new found looks.

I personally am going to miss the ample comparisons to numerous celebrities. Some of you may have been wondering on Facebook why Ben Affleck, Cam Ward, Ryan Reynolds, Jack Black, etc, have been spotted in northern Alberta, well wonder no more because I’ve been told I look like these people. How? I don’t know exactly I just find it funny and figured I would try to pump my own tires.

Ben Affleck was born from my now former roommate Megan’s dental teacher at NAIT who while checking my teeth asked me if anyone had said I looked like Ben Affleck. Even though it was in the early stages of the playoff beard I would have to say she must have been watching Daredevil in an extremely distorted stretched wide screen.

Then of course there was Cam Ward but apparently only from a side profile, that was mentioned to me actually a couple times but to Lips, Zims, and Atky, I think you guys were just trying to pick me up. Of course when they told me that they had to quickly deflate my tires by telling me I actually look like Jack Black.

There were of course the negatives to all this as almost every girl I seen thought I was hideous, some even going as far to say it was a cock block…but in actuality they themselves were the cock blocks!

This is now the second time I’ve grown a beard, the first coming in 2006 for the Oilers playoff run. I’m sure some of you are thinking it’s ridiculous to grow a beard because your favorite team is in the playoffs but truthfully if the hockey I played had playoffs long enough to actually rock a sweet beard I would probably already have one to begin with.

Needless to say I’m hoping that come the next time a round it will be lucky enough for either the Oilers or Blackhawks to bask in it’s magic, after all third time is a charm! Till then however it’s going to take a good week to get used to seeing this cleanly shaven mug in the mirror again.

Be sure to check out the pictures of our shave job and of course the video of all the glory of facial hair removal at www.hotstickybun.com