Now, back to the glory that is the weekend. So little to do, so much time.  Isn’t that the truth about Grande Prairie. At least this weekend it will be easier to take my mind of the fact that I still live here. With UFC111 happening saturday night, as well as new episodes of both Departures and The Pacific airing, my time will be filled quite nicely. Take it easy Friday, probably go to the gym, then party time Saturday and recooperate on Sunday with copious amounts of TV and movies.

There hasn’t been a good UFC card in the last little while so I am looking forward to what this next one has to offer. With Georges St Pierre defending his title against Dan “The Outlaw” Hardy, and Frank Mir going toe to toe with Shane Carwin for the interim Heavywight belt, this one shouldn’t be a disappointment. Not like the battle for the seniors belt that took place last month. This will likely prove to be GSP’s toughest opponent thus far, as Hardy has explosive hands with devastating knockout power. Hardy is also undefeated in the UFC, so will be looking to continue that streak. But from what I have seen in the last few weeks leading up, as far as training goes, there is no way GSP is going to lose. The man is finely tuned athletic machine, and boasts the best take down and ground game in mma. My bet goes to Canada’s favorite mixed martial artist, St Pierre winning by submission. The next headline on the card will put two mammoths for men against each other, in what will likely turn into an all out brawl. I can’t see the Carwin Mir fight going the full five rounds, and I’m picking Carwin to take the temporary belt with a TKO in either the second or third round. There should be a few pretty good undercard fights as well, as there are a couple guys making their UFC debuts who will be looking to stick around. The fights are at 8 on Saturday and what is better than watching 2 guys legally beat the crap out of each other?

Another thing that has put me in a good mood as of late is the recent sliding of the gayest hockey team in Alberta. Thats right, the Flames. With the Oilers all but locking up the first overall pick weeks ago, I conceded the shitty season in place of a #1 overall pick. (It’s gonna be Seguin, just watch) Now Flames fans on the other hand, will have to watch their team do what we Oil fans have done for oh so long. The Flames will win a couple more games, but probably end up finishing ninth behind the Red Wings, just missing the playoffs. What a sweet end to the season that will be. And to make matters even more hilarious, is that the Flames did it to themselves. They did it by trading players to become the Western Conference Leafs, and picking up the sixth d-man from the worst team in the league. Hats off to the Flames for making this year so much better for me. As long as Calgary continues their woes on the road, I feel confident I won’t be eating my words come playoff time, and the Flames will be on the outside looking in, with a mid round first pick.

Well, the NHL playoffs are on the verge, spring training is almost wrapped up to give way to the regular season in baseball, and I’m going to Phoenix. Thats right. Phoeeeeeeeeeeeeeenix. Golf, hockey and baseball, the holy trinity. I’m sure that after the trip is all wrapped up, there will be stories, pictures and videos to share with you all of our trip in the desert. Lets hope I don’t lose too many balls in the sand. Just make sure while we’re gone you don’t stick your bonjourno into any arribadercis that we wouldn’t. Neely the Seas Bass out.

As I said, I’m now all about konfidence. Some may even say its my middle name…I’ll leave that one to you. Shi**y occurrences dominate our society. I challenge you to open one media outlet and easily find an encouraging headline. As my colleague (and bfff) noted in The State Of Our Union, the world is a brutal place. So I’ve taken it upon myself to shove rays of sunshine up everyone’s ass today and share with you some past, present and future tales that should put a fat grin on your face.

✔ First of all, I would like to announce a solution to a newfound problem faced by members of the aquarium. It may take some commitment, but I am confident my friends will come through. I have found a place for thy aquarium to reside. When I say thy, I mean all 11 members. It needs a little reno work, but I’m sure if we all pitch in a team effort we can transform it into something worthy of sea beasts and crustaceans. Two words will lure other underwater inhabitants to our new home like the mating calls of dolphins, elk, and the Big Show: Jacuzzi Tub. Can anyone say soak?

The New Aquarium

✔ Second, hats off to the Saints – Vikings game this past sunday. Scratch that, no one wants to see Drew Brees without a lid on his melon. But whether you enjoy the gridiron or not, you cannot deny the fact this game was one worthy of greatness. Don’t believe me? This game (54 million) was the most viewed non-Superbowl television event since the Seinfeld finale in 1998 (75 million). I guess this goes to show how epic Seinfeld is. The Saints have turned a city once ravaged by Katrina and on the brink of self destruction, back into the proud and illustrious party we all know and love. I say Mardi Gras! (and no, you cannot get beads for seeing Big Show’s 54 D’s). It wasn’t all bad for Viking fans either. They will now all know the answer to a question in the 2011 edition of Trivial Pursuit: Who was the only quarterback in NFL history to end his career…twice…on an interception in the NFC title game? ⬇

✔ A passing grade for myself today for getting a high school student’s phone number at a bus stop and wearing a Jonathan Toews jersey to MRU. One act took a lot of balls and the other might turn into a date. Even though I’m scared she might be too old for me, a guy can hope can’t he?

✔ Wow. This can’t be right. Another check-mark for yours truly? Thats right ladies, the upcoming weeks of my life definitely deserve some recognition. My newly tagged Calgary nickname of “Holiday” has caught on nicely, and I intend to fit the mold. This weekend, two fellow sea creatures arrive in the big C for Oilers/Flames, good times, hearty laughter, and probably a few soda pops. To be honest, I’m scared for my safety as Sea Otter has been known to step outside the box. Stay tuned next week for an update, pictures and video from the weekend that was (or what I remember of it).

And last but not least, it seems fitting on the day Apple introduces the iPad, I announce something bigger. I have officially booked the best trip in human history. I’m going to leave the details vague to allow pictures do the explaining when I get back. I will provide a sneak peak exclusive to HSB. Key words: Gonzaga Bulldogs, Bandon Dunes, Golf, Alcohol, Shortys, Oregon Ducks, U.S. Open, Shortys, Olympics, Sunfire, Wolf Pack and Shortys. Look for Luke this time next month…as I hopefully survive my ordeal. One secret I will share…HSB has never been represented in photos better than what I have planned. Bonjourno.

This article has been brought to you by the letter W, for Wholy Fu*k: Luke’s word of the month for February. Because honestly, thats all I’ll be able to say come March.

Oh…and don’t think cuz I’m iced out I’ma cool off.

Arreviderci

I and a couple other sea beasts need a place to live

That’s right a new adventure is upon us. I spent the better part of 8 years living in Edmonton in a condo I owned living with a handful of different roomates and now I am inching closer to moving back into Grande Prairie…the same place I said I would never move back to almost 8 years ago. Not at all surprising considering this is where the majority of people I know live again, even people met in Edmonton for some reason pop up here…not at all sure why.

Regardless I need living accommodations

We will start with the most obvious. It has to be a house, it has to be at least 3 bedrooms and 2 bath, and most important above all it has to have a stripper pole…just kidding (or am I), actually it cant be a scuzz hole. By scuzz hole I mean somewhere that has rocks in the basement, can barely fit 3 people, or has duct tape keeping something held together. With that said we’re looking for an actual house, not a duplex, split level, townhouse etc…a HOUSE! Why? Well because I don’t think our neighbors are going to enjoy the music, company, guitar playing, and at the very least high intensity Rock Band jamming.

The sad thing is I had thought I found the perfect place not merely more then 2 hours of looking but it was to good to be true, the house appeared to only be on the market for a day (at the most). 2 living rooms, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a great backyard with fireplace, and a theater room to top it off. A perfect place for a measly $1200 a month. WHY!!! Personally I place all blame on Zimz and Stilly.

It would be a bonus

Finding a place with a hot tub. I know the bills would increase dramatically but considering the big challenge it is to try and lure the unsuspecting female back to your place having a hot tube would really increase those odds I’m sure. There is nothing better after a hard night of hockey or beer drinking then a 2am soak.

I suppose one way to look at it from my perspective is suppose we had a hot tub, that would mean 2 am soaks almost every weekend I’m sure resulting in either someone catching a disease from scuzzy water or us getting kicked out due to 27 noise complaints each weekend. Again I would blame Zimz and Stilly.

Find Us a place and

I’ll buy you a big bear for your troubles. Better yet if you wanna sell me a fantastic new house for 20 bucks I’ll name my first born child after you. We’re kind of in a rush though because RBK Robinson is coming.

In the meantime

I’ll begin preparation on updating hotstickybun. I usually do this once a year but was quite content on leaving this website for awhile as it seemed to really sky rocket in popularity the last year and a half. I’ve went from nearly topping out at 10,000 a month down to 2,000 and now I’m once again climbing back up to that mark. As much as I hate to admit it I attest much of that success is to the two writers who survived longer then two months I originally gave them. Shockingly enough Zimz post “Athletes You Love To Hate” has topped 1300 views for the month. Congratulations Zimz, you’re officially a blogging hero nerd.

Needless to say I’m still looking to improve on this website as it is something that needs to be pushed over the 10,000 views a month limit. Obviously more videos and pictures are going to be added and I’m always looking for aspiring writers to help out with the cause. With that said more highlight will be given to those other two fluffs as I’ve been slacking with some things (like the ability to look at their old posts!).

Input needed

With that said I’m only one man with one brain (albeit a very large one) but this website needs some more POW and by POW I mean more content. It’s been heavily discussed about having some trailer be put together for a show, nothing spectacular just a 10-15 minute ep here and there. Had I been thinking about this it would have been the perfect season to follow both hockey teams with all the drama and concerns following both clubs. Next year I suppose.

We will be pushing a show out once we move into our new place but it really focuses on just that. What we need are ideas. My opinion is if the people in Whistler can have a show entitled “Peak Season” the people involved in this side project are more then capable of putting on a worthwhile production.

What else would you like to see? Enter in some comments below If someone gives me a acceptable project for this website I will give you free Edmonton Oiler tickets to a select home game of my choosing! I know that’s not much incentive with the shittyness that is the Oilers but it’s a start.

Look Out For It

The new website should be launched before the spring of 2010 and it promises to be a bigger improvement on what’s running now. A lot of the same features will be seen but more content and a new look will take it well into the next year.

I know what you’re all thinking…”Why are you redoing it again Walks”

Well assholes it’s because that’s what web designers do…

Till next time let’s keep those comments coming

Happy Bonjourno aka Happy New Years!

If there is one thing I learned this week it was that I can’t give er as hard as I once used too. There were times back during the “Blades of our Lives” (most notably after an exit from the playoffs) that the team would decide on a week long episode before every player would head his own way for the summer only to convene months later back at the rink and do it all over again. Still I do have to say some of us trooped pretty hard this past week in the city despite it being Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night knowing full well a New Years party was closing in on us on Thursday.

The statisitcs for this past weeks results are as follows.

I warned you I couldn’t Take It

Kilometers Traveled:
Approx 1100
Hockey Games Watched:
6 – Canada vs Swiss, Flames vs Oilers (Live), Canada vs Slovaks, Maple Leafs vs Oilers (Live), Canada vs U.S, Oilers vs Flames
Actual Good Hockey Games Watched:
1, Canada vs U.S.A on New Years Eve
Pizza Consumed:
5 Pies, 2XL Great White Norths, 1XL Hawaiian, 1L Hawaiian, 1L Ham & Pepporoni
Other Food Consumed:
Pizza Bread, Chinese Food, Subway, Quiznos, New York Fries, Taco Time, Hudsons, Brewsters, Moxies
Pounds Gained:
514lbs amongst 4 of us because Stingy doesn’t gain weight.
Puke Spilt:
Probably 4 buckets worth between Primo the Seal and Neely the Sea Bass
Poops Spilt:
Probably 20 buckets worth as every time one got back to the hotel room one would spend 5 minutes with old faithful.
Bars Kicked Out of Or Not Allowed Entry:
1, Just On The Rocks because apparently they’re racist there.
Girls Creeped Out:
5784612, and thats only the ones known about. Something to be said about seeing sweaty sea mammals drinking in a bar that doesn’t overally impress.
Good Times Spent:
4, I’m pretty sure Sea Bass was hung over for two days and wishing he didn’t partake for 48 hours.

Needless to say the above picture represents how we all felt Friday morning, it was so bad neither of us even wanted to think about having drinks on the weekend. Instead we were dubbed the task of playing hockey and then bowling a perfect game…both of which we failed miserably.

I didn’t take any pictures from the road trip as that involves all video which I’ll upload shortly. In the meantime you can check out my shotty work from New Years Pink & White Party in the photo gallery.

The Meltdown

Monday morning started like most do…shitty. Who really enjoys Sunday knowing full well the next day actually involves doing something with ones life, whether it be school or work? I sure don’t. The only thing that kept me sane Sunday (following a fairly shitty Saturday hockey evening) was the fact I could watch the Oilers, Baseball, and Football all day. Low and behold the Oilers lost, the Yankees won, and oddly there wasn’t an overly exciting football game available on TV.

Regardless that was only the beginning. Monday morning arose with work calling and informing me that a major computer meltdown took place over the weekend and I apparently was tasked with figuring out how, what, and why this was doing that and that was doing this. Like most I’m brain dead Monday morning and having to deal with a major meltdown perhaps wasn’t the greatest thing to happen. As we speak I am still plugging away at it…and it is now 2:00 am in the morning Wednesday. The only thing I can say to that is BOOOOO!

After finally getting one problem out of the way it was time for practice…which was exactly what I was hoping for, fun! Until the end at least. Word is out another goalie is on way to help fill the void while I’m away coaching which wasn’t an issue. The issue came today when the schedule was reworked from Spirit River folding and Lips and I found out we are going to miss 11 of 20 games. So now we’re asking ourselves what the hell is the point in even playing because out of those 9 games because neither one of us know if we will even end up playing in all of them, especially as a goalie I might be lucky to get half of those. Is it worth it? Probably not.

It’s not the worst thing to happen I suppose but what the hell else do you do in this swine flu haven?

Regardless there is some light at the end of the tunnel. My new rig is on its way and a new Macbook Pro is potentially along its way too (yeah I get excited about computers and video games so what?). Above all that I’ve finally found some dates where I can go out and use the season tickets to watch some Oiler games. I was starting to worry that I wouldnt be able to visit Rexall till after February when hockey season ended but thankfully I’ve found a break in scheduling. Needless to say I think Edmonton misses the funkybunch so we’ve booked a trip to take in two games, Dec28th vs the Calgary Flames and Dec 30th vs the Toronto Maple Leafs.

To add to that there is only four of us and I have six tickets for each game so if anyone out there in internet land wants to attend let me know. The four of us will drop an executive decision and place a vote to see if you can keep up with us. If you’re female you already have a heads up on the competition! No sexual pun intended.

And before I go I better give a shout out to the Buns two newest writers Zims and Luke. I don’t know what the hell there going to talk about but both have enough to say so I’ll let them go about there business before deciding on if I should fire them or not! The wager right now is how long one thinks they will end up lasting as writers for the Bun…I’m going to go with 2 months!

I hope they prove me wrong as they may just be what I need to push over that 10,000 mark.

As for all you other people asking me about writing all you have to do is ask, it doesn’t take much to set up you just have to get in contact with me which isn’t hard either. Find me on Facebook as I’m usually idling 24/7.

Thats it, my new computer should be here this week which means I’ll finally be able to finish uploading all the wedding videos from this summer as well as some other crap that’s been hiding in the archives for to long.

Happy Halloween ho bags

Unfortunately tonight however the Detroit Red Wings eliminated the Blackhawks in game 5 of the Western Conference finals and while it is highly disappointing Chicago should be holding their heads high with what they accomplished this year. First and foremost they are one of (if not the) youngest teams in the NHL and there average age is only increased slightly thanks to a couple seasoned veterans they have on the roster. As a franchise in just one year it’s almost as if they have returned to there glory years…a competitive team is back, the fans are back, and most importantly the city of Chicago is finally talking about hockey again.

The other tragedy from tonight however took place about 30 minutes after the game when Rob Dog and I took the razor to our faces and decided it was time to get rid of the playoff beard. We debated heavily about keeping it regardless win our lose for this weekends jaunt down to Red Deer for Peca’s stag but after looking ourselves in the mirror for the past few weeks we both couldn’t take it much longer. What we got was a weird feeling and an image that made us look like we had just shaved about 10 years off of our lives.

Needless to say neither one of us can look at one another without laughing, he thinks I look like a pedophile and I think he looks like he is about 15 years old, even this extremely good looking gym girl was having a good laugh about our new found looks.

I personally am going to miss the ample comparisons to numerous celebrities. Some of you may have been wondering on Facebook why Ben Affleck, Cam Ward, Ryan Reynolds, Jack Black, etc, have been spotted in northern Alberta, well wonder no more because I’ve been told I look like these people. How? I don’t know exactly I just find it funny and figured I would try to pump my own tires.

Ben Affleck was born from my now former roommate Megan’s dental teacher at NAIT who while checking my teeth asked me if anyone had said I looked like Ben Affleck. Even though it was in the early stages of the playoff beard I would have to say she must have been watching Daredevil in an extremely distorted stretched wide screen.

Then of course there was Cam Ward but apparently only from a side profile, that was mentioned to me actually a couple times but to Lips, Zims, and Atky, I think you guys were just trying to pick me up. Of course when they told me that they had to quickly deflate my tires by telling me I actually look like Jack Black.

There were of course the negatives to all this as almost every girl I seen thought I was hideous, some even going as far to say it was a cock block…but in actuality they themselves were the cock blocks!

This is now the second time I’ve grown a beard, the first coming in 2006 for the Oilers playoff run. I’m sure some of you are thinking it’s ridiculous to grow a beard because your favorite team is in the playoffs but truthfully if the hockey I played had playoffs long enough to actually rock a sweet beard I would probably already have one to begin with.

Needless to say I’m hoping that come the next time a round it will be lucky enough for either the Oilers or Blackhawks to bask in it’s magic, after all third time is a charm! Till then however it’s going to take a good week to get used to seeing this cleanly shaven mug in the mirror again.

Be sure to check out the pictures of our shave job and of course the video of all the glory of facial hair removal at www.hotstickybun.com

I wasn’t smart enough to roll one when I was playing Junior hockey, I instead opted for the playoff team hair dye. Sure it was the “in” thing to do and all but looking back on those days you begin to wonder just what the hell you we’re thinking. From bleach blonde to team color hair it never came out the way you wanted and frankly looked quite ridiculous going to school/work. I suppose the reasoning behind it all probably has to do with the fact that back at that age a lot of guys can’t grow playoff beards to begin with so they’ve got to come up with something to team bond.

Why Playoff Beards

I’m well aware most you broads out there are wondering why a beard…and truthfully there are dozens of reasons most of which you wont understand. Perhaps the best reason comes from the late great John Belushi in Animal house to which he replied “Why Not?”

Playoff hockey involves thinking of nothing other then playoff hockey and let’s face it being clean-shaven is high-maintenance. It requires the application of shaving cream and razors to your face on a regular, sometimes daily basis and takes up precious time when one could be watching hockey games, hockey highlights, or other hockey related news stories.

The more we shave also leads to more blades on razors. Mach 3, Mach 5, Mach 100 etc. Does one really need to damage the environment more then it has by having a one hundred bladed razor?

Perhaps the best reason is because as guys we can (well most of us). In 2006 I had the privilege of growing it out for the first time thanks to that Cinderella Oilers playoff run. I wasn’t playing hockey at the time but it seemed like a perfectly logical thing to do and gained some valuable beard experience in the process.

Since that magical two month process in 2006 I’ve grown temporary beards along the way.

Common Beard Excuses

(aside from playoff beards)

The “Im officially out of razors beard”

Pretty self explanatory, your current razor is to dull and your to lazy or pre-occupied to go to the store.

The “Broke My Arm and Cant Shave Beard”

Again pretty self explanatory, It isn’t easy shaving with your wrong hand, do I dare say it’s like masturbation in that aspect?

The “It’s -40 outside and I dont want to wear a scarf beard”

Living in Canada we’re prone to too many week long stretches of -40 or below days and nights and one doesn’t want to have to worry about carrying extra articles of clothing around for stops at pubs, friends houses, movies, etc.

The Final Exam Beard

Just another good mental preparation for good luck come the most important time in ones school years.

The I’m to busy playing Warcraft beard

No time to shave when you’re parked in front of the computer 24/7. You may even have to get a desk side pan so you dont shit your pants.

The I’m not old enough to get into the bar beard

It’s worth a shot if all your other friends are over the legal drinking age, this can also be classified to a degree of growing a beard to look like someone else to use a fake ID or in case you’ve been caught peering through your hot neighbors window.

The breakup beard

Ever had a girlfriend who hates stubble or always demanded you shave? Think of this as a lame form of payback! It’ll make you look older so you can get into bars without an ID check, allowing you to start drinking away your sorrows up to a full 30 seconds sooner, not to mention it will keep other girls away until you’ve had a chance to build up your confidence and start playing the scene again. Be warned though, some girls dig beards.

The Fire the Head Coach Beard

My most recent excuse to grow a beard. Sure it won’t prove anything or provide any course of action but it serves a point that you’re obsessed with your local sports team.

The excuse now

So with all that out of the way you’re wondering what the point is. Well, I introduce you to our latest stupid idea…

The Chicago Blackhawks playoff beard

I dont know if it was the 2600 beer or the pizza and chip sandwiches that were consumed this weekend but it was discussed in great detail. Needless to say at 4am in the morning it doesn’t take much convincing.

I suppose the real question is who is going to live up to the deal. Come Wednesday morning that will be the final day a razor sees my face until the Hawks have been eliminated…I apologize already to anyone I see in public.

Now because I know you all want to hear it, I’m going to give you my top ten “idiotic” hockey fans.

Number 1: “Shooooooooooooooooooot”

This is pretty much a given number 1. Anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who has played hockey knows the purpose of a powerplay. We all know that you’re given the man advantage to move the puck around to open up lanes to give a glorified scoring chance, what most these idiots think it’s for is to have your star player take a shot below the hash marks on the side boards or perhaps even wind up for that big slapper and drill it right into a defenders shin pads. Sadly when you’re the Edmonton Oilers you end up having no choice but to take these low percentage shots because you apparently lack the intelligence to try something else. Fun fact: When large women behind you begin yelling shoooooooot proceed to do the same with the exception of yelling it when your team has the puck in their defensive zone.

Number 2: “The Should of Been Superstar”

I personally LOVE listening to these ones, maybe it’s because I’ve told them to many times myself! At least I have the decency to keep it to a room full of underage girls unlike these guys. There is nothing more comical then listening to a guy tell his date about how his coach told him he was a mix of Bobby Orr and Chris Chelios (only better) in front of some odd 100 people. Make no bones about it, this guy wants to be heard because he talks loud enough so the other guys and girls sitting in his section know full well he is currently sitting 15th in team scoring on his local Junior C hockey club.

Number 3: “The Chatty Kathy”

I know what you’re thinking. This is all about the broad that never shuts up and pays attention to the game. You’re exactly right however, this label isn’t singled out to just women because I’ve heard a lot of guys run there yap all game long talking about trucks, women, etc. Please do us all a favor, If you’re going to make noise non stop for 2 and a half hours do so supporting the team, we don’t want to hear about how you caught the clap from some hooker you purchased on 96th street.

Number 4: “The I’m just here fan”

This one is a rare breed north of the border (I have spotted them though). In my adventures south of the border however I have managed to stumble across this rare species on more then one occasion. Once they were reading a book, another time doing a crossword, and more recently even knitting a sweater! If you ever do come across this rare and exotic beast proceed with caution…or better yet rip up whatever there doing similar to the “Terrace is Hockeyville”

Number 5: “The Wanna Be Puckbunny”

I shouldn’t be complaining about this one because I enjoy T and A like every other straight guy out there but where does one draw the line between looking good and looking for attention. Is it necessary to wear the shortest skirt possible and a cut off shirt to show your jumblies in the middle of a Canadian winter because you’re sitting front row? If you want to be an attention whore then flash yourself on the big screen. You’re a hoe and every guy loves it…point taken.

Number 6: “The Spilling Drunk”

I’m quite proud to say that in all the years I’ve attended games I’ve not once spilt on the people in front of me, sure many times on myself but that’s not what this is about. Its about the idiot who cant tell when he’s had enough and decides that even though he has 3 heroin beers under his seat he better get 2 more for the final twenty minutes. The home team is down 2 to 1 when all of a sudden they SCORE to tie it up which sends Spilly Drunk jumping out of his chair forgetting he has two full beers in his hand and ultimately two empty beers as he dumps it all over the girl sitting in front of him.

Number 7: “The Arrogant Tough Guy Drunk”

While this could technically fall in with the Spilly Drunk these guys often aren’t out of control in terms of pure stupidity. Instead there stupidity turns to anger which often leads to fights with rival fans or better yet pouring full beers on the people who are pissing them off.

Number 8: “Random Jersey Guy” as well as “Stupid Jersey Name Guy”

The Oilers and Flames are set to play another game in the historic battle of Alberta when low and behold Chicago Bulls Hall of Famer Michael Jordan appears in the crowd! The lineups for tonight include our starting defensemen “So Close #06″ and of course “You Suck #44″.

Number 9: “Mr. Negativity”

This is probably the category I fit into best this year but after watching this team get out shot, outhit, outworked, and most certainly out classed I had a right to be negative. Losing 7 games of the last 9 in a pivotal playoff stretch drive and having all your players deflect criticism thinking they played good enough to win is the talk of “losers!” Led by there loser coach and the rest of the loser organization these plugs never deserved to be amongst the final eight teams.

Negative enough for you?

and finally…

Number 10: “Mr. Know-it-all who knows nothing at all”

This list and this definition goes out to the guys sitting behind us tonight. I never heard but my fellow comrade Jmoe enlightened me that prior to the game one know-it-all was quoted as asking “Have you ever played hockey?” to which the other responded “Nope, never stepped foot on the ice”. Well you could have fooled me, the sheer brilliance coming out of your mouths tonight should of put you into the front running for head coach of the Edmonton Oilers. An example of many was our goalie playing the puck to a defensemen and Mr. know-it-all telling our section it was a bad rebound. Better yet was the bad decision to dump the puck in when his linemates were on a change and he was 1 against 5. Mr. Know-it-all full credit for pronouncing the words right at least, but next time use them in the right context. You may like hockey because you’re a fanboy of your local team but don’t for one second think you even can explain the difference between a 2-1-2 and a 1-2-2, it pains me to hear it.

Yes, these are all real experiences I’ve witnessed first hand through the 300 or so home games I’ve been a part of in Rexall. Please do tell if you think I’ve forgotten someone.

PS. Go Blackhawks!

Alas enough about hockey, I spend to much time talking about it already.  Onto more pressing issues, like where the hell I’ve been, why the Bun hadn’t been updated in months, and just what the hell happened to the old site.

The Old Site

First and foremost the old site is gone, retired to the recycle bin.  I tried the experiment of having more then one writer on here but figured it was only a matter of time before that fade phased out.  Everyone comes here to look at pictures, admire the videos, and read my glorious rambles.  While I give the other two credit I probably knew it wouldn’t last to long, after all I haven’t wrote anything since I left to go play hockey in Hythe.  Fortunately for those other two yahoos who started to contribute I’ve left them on for the time being, just in case they end up seeing the light and realizing how orgasmic writing for hotstickybun can be or someone else out there in cyber land steps up and wants to feel a part of the fame and glory I do everyday from running this magnificent website.

The biggest change is how I handled the videos.  With everyone in there right mind having a digital camera or camcorder I’ve made my life a little easier uploading and editing the video, what’s even better is it is currently set up to allow other users access so they can contribute to the video section.  Obviously I’m not out of my mind enough to just allow anyone to upload so if you got some good old fashioned blackmailing evidence you’d like the people to see swing by my contact page and I’ll hook you up with access.

The only other major differences are the design, an added “sticky picks” section, and some background information on my disgusting video game habit.

So what took so long to update?

Suffice to say I’ve actually been occasionally busy. With the last thing I wrote I was summoned into duty to play goal for the first time in six years and that drove me north to Hythe for about a month. Needless to say I had a great time even though Im pretty sure I messed up my knee to the point where its starting to hurt when I walk. Maybe I should go to the doctor.

After the brief conditioning stint in Hythe I flew south to Phoenix for spring break with Moeee and Precious even though some douche bag customs agent just about prevented me from getting into the country. I don’t know what it is, I’d like to think I’m not suspicious looking but every time I cross the border I’m questioned and cavity searched a lot more then anyone else.

In Phoenix there was golf, there was hiking, there was Oilers hockey, but I’m sure you all get the point by now because I’ve talked about my travels down there more then enough on here.

So what now Walks?

Good question. I’ve been back in Edmonton since towards the end of February. Not surprisingly I’ve been parked at the computer since being here touching up on some of my latest projects, most notably Reo King, Target Rubber, and In the Loop.

In that same stretch I’ve managed to update my portfolio website, better known as Phrost Designs, as well as what you see here at hotstickybun. I’ve also had a lot of leads on other jobs but it seems a lot of people in this area don’t understand the amount of time that’s put into stuff like this and don’t want to pay the price for having a solid website done. If you’re one of those people I will tell you flat out that when you cheap out you get exactly what you pay for in terms of functionality, looks, and usability.

I’ve got one more website to finish for Maverick Camouflage before I’m all caught up which turns out is a good thing as I got a lot on my plate potentially this summer. While I tried to keep it somewhat low key to begin with I think most people know by now that I’m leaning towards moving home (*shudders). Needless to say I’ve got cold feet about the whole situation and this summer should help me get a better idea on just what it is I’m going to do.

Until Then

Spring is here and golf season is just around the corner. The season should be a good one as J-bone is set to move in with me in a week or so which should result in another interesting couple of months. Oh and did I mention I have a couple cases of Bud Light Lime for patio season? I know some of you are thinking it’s sissy beer and if that’s the case you don’t get any!

With that said things should be a little more energetic around here in the next week (and coming weeks for that matter), I have a bunch of videos on my computer that probably need to be screened before an upload takes place.

Till next time.

I’ve watched a lot of Oiler hockey since I’ve moved to Edmonton, hell the hockey team for the most part drives the city, people there eat, sleep, and breath Oiler hockey.  I’d say I’ve probably been to about 95% of all home games in the previous 6 years with obviously the highlight being 2006 coming one game short of winning the sixth Stanley Cup in franchise history. Sadly though no matter how great that cup run was our hockey team was still on the fortunate side of sneaking into the playoffs (in 8th as usual) thanks to a dismal collapse by the Vancouver Canucks.

Yet every glaring problem this team has had seems to have been washed away by the success of 2006.  Before the CBA was in place we all preached that we couldn’t compete without a salary cap.  Low and behold the lockout arrives and we lose hockey for a season before returning with a vengeance acquiring such stars as Chris Pronger and Michael Peca.  Finally we can compete.

Wrong.

There is one reoccurring theme with this team.  No matter what personnel we have on the ice it’s always the same result.  2006 playoffs aside (largely because I think players run more on adrenaline) we as fans continue to sit back through the same mediocre piss poor performances through the first four months of the regular season before realizing its going to take one miraculous streak to even attempt the final playoff spot.

Sadly unless by miracle something happens to the Edmonton drinking water this doesn’t appear to be changing anytime soon which has me as a fan seriously doubting my Oiler faith.  Two years we’ve missed the playoffs, once by going on some odd 21 games before winning in regulation.  You’d think in professional sports where a coach and GM get paid big money to produce wins there may be some job security issues with a finish like that but those rules don’t seem to apply in Edmonton as the owners appear to be dwelling on the past believing that the legends both Kevin Lowe and Craig MacTavish helped build will somehow translate to on ice success in the new day and age of hockey.

I’ve sat on the fence for the last couple years biting my lip trying to give both the benefit of the doubt.  I’ll admit that both have had there moments.  Kevin Lowe got us Chris Pronger for practically nothing but then followed that up with giving him away for next to nothing.  Craig MacTavish got us to the Stanley Cup final but that was largely in part from Chris Pronger and Dwayne Roloson not the tactics he implemented.

But let’s face it this whole situation is a mess.  Feel free to chime in but I know I’m not alone when I say the Oilers really have no systems. What are systems you ask?  Watch a Detroit game.  Even former Oiler defensemen Cory Cross who ended up having a stint with the Wings a few years back was quick to praise how nice it was to play in an organized system.

Then of course we have the dreaded playing favorites.  I’m all for it if your name is Vinny Lecaviler or Sidney Crosby but when you’re a third and fourth line player at best on any other team you shouldn’t be seeing powerplay time.  Guess what though, if you play for the Oilers they’ll reward you with powerplay, penalty kill, and the majority of even strength shifts with a lengthy high priced contract to boot!

The Shawn Horcoff signing is an absolute albatross and it’s already starting to make me cringe watching him night in and night out.  I’ll be generous enough to give him to the all star break to turn it around since he’s coming off major shoulder surgery but can someone out there please explain to me how or why Kevin Lowe thinks he is worth 6.5 million a year when his highest point total is 73? Jesus, the guy is going to be making Iginla money and the two as players arent even remotely comparable.  Throw in the Dustin Penner signing, who lost us a slew of draft picks and truthfully to me isn’t that good of a hockey player to begin with.  Both he and Horcoff are the beneficiaries of playing with great linemates, Hemsky, Smyth, Getzlaf, and Perry to refresh your memory.

I’m truly nervous for the future of the Oilers, here we have a group of overpriced grinders who are making superstar money while the one actual superstar we have on the team in Hemsky makes just over 4 million a year. We lose him at any point in the season we are headed down a dark path as it painfully obvious Gagner, Cogliano, and Nilsson aren’t what we all expected.

But hey why make changes when you’re consistently bad and fine with it.  Horcoff was recently quoted as saying something along the lines of “If you told me 20 games into the season we were .500 I’d take it”.  Are you kidding me???  Does anyone think Detroit would be satisfied with nonsense like that?  Just tonight against the Kings Cogliano thought the team got off to a good start…what game were you watching?  This all stems from head coach Craig MacTavish who in his post game press conference tried to tell us that the effort was there…no Craig it wasn’t and it hasn’t been there all season.  The only real gutsy effort I’ve seen from this team this season is the back to back Battle of Alberta games earlier in the season.  The Oilers dont skate, cant pass, and certainly dont hit anyone.

I cant recall anytime in my life where I remember actually turning off the Oilers to watch another team.  Sadly since I’ve been in Phoenix thats precisley what I’ve been doing in favor of the Chicago Blackhawks.  Sure a lot of that was largely in part of Matt finally getting some ice time but truthfully even if he wasn’t playing the more I watch their games the easier it is to get excited to watch a televised hockey game, even my old man has been saying they remind him of the 80′s Oilers with there skill and speed up front and on the backend.   I can say with a straight face that if any of you are getting sick of the constant piss poor hockey games the Oilers play flip the channel to Chicago (or ask me where to watch them for free online) and what you’ll see is what the Oilers should be.  Fast, young and talented, hard hitting, and a never say die attitude.  This isn’t an exaggeration when I say that some of the best games I’ve watched in recent memory have been the last 4 or 5 Blackhawk games.

And yet sadly I still hold out hope for the Oilers but am truly getting frustrated with the lack of discipline the organization upholds.  Here we have MacT who calls out his players in the media with tongue lashings and high profile healthy scratches yet does he ever have to worry about any scrutiny himself from upper management?  Nope. Who are we kidding though, even if MacT or Lowe get canned they’ll just be replaced with Huddy, Buchburger, or some other old Oiler plug who cant coach.  I’ve heard it from Flames fans calling this organization a circus and I’m quickly beginning to believe it.  Did all these guys make pacts that once they finished there careers each one would help each other out by giving them a job?

I’ll tell you on thing. If Mactavish finishes his contract or gets fired and replaced with a former Oiler I’ll be turning into Randy Quaid from Major League 2.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=catKtE77Ows]