“All my life I’ve been searching for something, something never comes, never leads to nothing. Nothing satisfies, but I’m getting close, closer to the prize at the end of the rope” – Dave Grohl
Being a smart, good looking philosophical man, I have discovered turning to music in a time of need has become a necessity for me to overcome life’s numerous obstacles. And this is no exception. Honestly, I don’t usually spill my guts right off the bat, but I have had some trouble with what to write on HSB the past 6 weeks or so. This is probably quite obvious with the long periods between posts and somewhat mediocre material. Thankfully, just like the broadjourno I bonjournoed in the brown this weekend in Edmonton, good things come out of the Clear Blue Sky (that is the one and only time Lucas will ever refer to country music). Just like in the City of Champions, something that was once narrow and seemingly impossible is easily fixed with some coercion and olive oil. I’m back baby! And better than ever. Speaking of being sweet, pounding shortys, and making comebacks, I believe my black twin announced his comeback today. Obviously, we were both met with the same media attention, the only distinct difference is he f*#$ed up by getting married. Now while he’s making millions and smashing records, I’ll still be smashing other things.
The Foo Fighters are f@!%ing awesome. With that said, the above lyrics really made me think. Over the past few years we have all searched for something we once saw as unobtainable. I don’t know about you guys, but I have done some pretty cool shit in my short career of life that I never thought possible. Largely thanks to how unreal I am on the links, a lot of doors and legs have opened. But, although the successes have been many, there is still a lot of things I yearn for, as do you I’m sure. The kick ass part of my life besides everything, is my 4 followers and I have an outlet for our dreams: HSB!
All my life…I have wanted to cruise around Edmonton with the CEO of Callaway Canada in a limo drinking brews and jammin out to Foo Fighters at full tilt with the windows down. Check.
All my life…I have dreamed of being famous and nailing hotter shortys than I already do. Not much different from HSB’s new favorite Red Wing, Darren Helm. Interestingly enough, Darren and I are connected much deeper than he knows, or cares for that matter. I mean he does have a Cup ring, 7 figure salary and smokeshow girlfriend…scratch that…ex-girlfriend. That’s where Luke comes in. At the beginning of my HSB career, I mentioned how hot the shortys were at Mount Royal. This only proves my point. Pictured above alongside her Red Wing is Devon Englot, a native of The Hat and current student at MRU. How do I know this you ask? Well first, I’m a rapist, what do you expect? But second, she is the little piece of heaven I get to sit beside every Tues/Thurs from 2-3:20 in ECON 2244. God bless that school. I mean she was drawn to me and asked for the adjacent seat, but that is irrelevant. Needless to say, that takes care of the nailin hotter girls part. I mean come on, I make 4 figures and rock sweet flow. As for the famous part, that was taken care of today…and I’m bringin all of you f!@*s with me.
Lucky for us, Devon is a sweet chick. I asked her if she would like to be the HSB babe of the week. The answer…”f*!^ ya!” So after a name drop or two and giving her the executive tour of the Bun, I convinced her to text her ex and tell him to check out the site. Here at HSB we like to sprain news, not break it…none the less you are officially the first to hear that our dreams have been answered. Darren replied. “HAHA thats funny. Bunch of f*!@ing idiots.” I have never been so proud. There you have it. HSB is spreading viciously around the Detroit Red Wings as we speak. Hopefully my CEO Walks will keep me in mind when he’s ballin Armani suits and rollin Lambos.
Til Later Bitches
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