I can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack, I believe in peacekeeping, not policing, diversity not assimilation,and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal. A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and it IS pronounced Zed, not Zee… ZED!!

Canada is the 2nd largest land mass, the 1st nation of hockey, and the best part of North America….my name is Walks and I AM CANADIAN!!!

Sidney Crosby Celebrates His Golden Goal

Canadian Patriotism Shines Through

It was a perfect end to an absolutely stunning Winter Olympics. After spending the better part of 8 hours watching the final day of the games I couldn’t help but have a huge smile on my face and become even prouder (if that was possible) to be a Canadian. Here we were as a nation so anxiously awaiting the gold medal game in Men’s hockey Sunday morning knowing full well that even despite all the success we had with the ample amount of gold medals we won it still wouldn’t be the same if we didn’t capture the one medal that meant most to us as a nation.

Now I know there are lots of people who don’t watch hockey religiously like most of the people I tend to be involved with but even if you weren’t a hockey fan you became one Sunday afternoon and watched as an extremely proud nation became that much prouder in what will be a game all of us won’t ever forget. In fact it was almost fitting to see Sidney Crosby score the game winner, it truly put a spectacular finishing touch on what turned out to be some of the best Olympics I’ve ever had the privilege to witness…the only crime was not being in Vancouver for any moment of it, something I will undoubtedly regret the rest of my life. If there is one thing I will do however it will be to attend one whether it be in Sochi or somewhere else in the world.

Inspirational

There is something to be said when it comes to the Olympic games. I often find myself sitting and watching as a world embraces sport and forgets about all the bad things happening in the world for two weeks and think to myself why on earth can’t we use this as an example as to how as a civilization we should be. It’s amazing how something so simple can bring people together from different countries, race, and religion to become one and respect one another regardless. It seems silly to say but even as Canadians we will go back to our stubborn ways, you can almost bet that come the next Flames/Canucks game a fight could break out, people won’t respect one another, and yet bitter political enemies involved in the Olympics can get along just fine over the course of two weeks.

Hockey Opponents Embrace

I suppose that’s what the winter games are made of. I’m sure there are literally hundreds of inspirational stories. Look no further then the two recipients of the 2010 Terry Fox Award.

Joannie Rochette touched a nation when the 24-year-old Ile Dupas, Que. native skated to bronze in the ladies’ event just four days after the sudden passing of her mother. Theresa Rochette, 55, died of a heart attack shortly after arriving in Vancouver to watch her daughter compete in the Games. With the weight of a country and Olympic community behind her, the six-time national champion became the first Canadian female figure skater to reach the podium since Elizabeth Manley claimed silver at the 1988 Calgary Games.

Petra Majdic crashed during training for the cross-country individual sprint classic, falling off the course and into rocks, suffering a collapsed lung and four broken ribs. Determined to compete in the final and unaware to the extent of her injuries, the 30-year-old skier fought through unbearable pain to win bronze, her country’s first medal of the Games.

Whether you’re male or female both women are an inspiration to all of us and have provided us with unforgettable performance.

The Canadian Experience

I suppose one shouldn’t forget how we showed the world what it feels like to be Canadian. There was something about this Olympic Games that was in one word “refreshing”. If there was one general mood that could act as a theme for these Olympic Games, it was that little bit of humour and self-deprecation. The closing ceremonies Sunday night ended up a fantastic finish to showcase our culture, compassion, and of course our utter goofiness. It’s as almost if we are that country that is there to lighten the mood at the party, something we had no problem doing as the games officially came to a close.

Beware of Canada's Giant Inflatable Beavers

The final performances we’re what we as Canadians are all about it. Despite the embarrassment of the opening ceremonies and the tragedy that opened the games there was something you saw in the streets, and something expressed in the closing ceremony that helped showcase the world what we do better then any other nation. There were outsized displays of nationalism, which is to be expected, given the setting, but more than that was the evidence that this is a country now more willing to laugh at itself. We not only let Stephen Colbert call us syrup-suckers, we revelled in it.

It was only fitting Sunday night when Vanoc CEO John Furlong said in his speech: “Now you know us, eh?”

That little “eh” was the keystone to an evening of fun, even if it was at our own expense. William Shatner’s comment that “I’m proud of the fact that we Canadians can have four beers and still pronounce ‘the Strait of Juan de Fuca’ without being censored;” Catherine O’Hara’s moment on Canadian politeness fell a touch flat but kept with the current theme of being Canadian, then there was Michael J. Fox’s moment. (who was spectacular when he helped open the mens hockey with one of those epic opening montages). Wearing a toque when it comes to a bad hair day or wearing a maple leaf regardless of having lived in the States the past 30 years, he could have got a standing ovation just standing there.

Then of course there was Michael Buble and his Broadway production. It was one of the most ridiculous yet wonderfully entertaining performances that I will remember the rest of my life. It was almost as if I had the thought I was watching a new moment in Canada’s image of itself. Dancing Mounties, the giant wooden Mounties being wheeled out, dancing maple leaf broadjournos, and the jigging coureurs des bois in their canoes. Yet as most of this was going on I couldnt help think we we’re missing two important pieces to this puzzle. Just as I thought that of course income the giant beavers and moose. Yet best of all was the giant hockey table game, which was pure genius and a Canadian inside joke that caused a pang in the heart of every Canadian kid of a certain age (notice the gold medals on the hockey players?), it was brilliant, all of it. The joke on us, by us.

The only thing missing was some form of Maple Syrup.

The closing ceremonies we’re exactly what they were supposed to be…fun!

Which is exactly what, for the most part, these 2010 Winter Olympics Games were all about.

Be proud Vancouver and more importantly Canada, you made this goofy kid one happy Canadian!

I couldn’t help but laugh at this ad, for one the title “10 Mistakes Guys Make” and all you can see in the image is tats and access to glory town. Am I to believe that doing anything with a girls boobs or vageene (va-sheen) is a mistake? Not only that it goes onto to say its “DANGEROUS”. Granted it can be, a bad clam can make one very unhealthy.

I don’t know why I care but I thought this was somewhat of a good laugh coming from a so called expert who claims to know the top ten mistakes guys make with women. Upon clicking that ad out of sheer curiosity (I know what some of you are saying, “You were looking for help Walks”) I came across an ad for David Deangelo’s newsletter giving the average schmuck advice on what and what not to do. Here is a quick run down of the ten reasons…

10: Being To Much of a Nice Guy
Ok, this is believable, there is credit in what Green Day has been singing all these years…”Nice Guys Finish Last” but let’s face it, any guy that is to be that nice has:
a: neither had sex
b: is Gay
c: Just doesn’t get it
d: All of the above

09: Trying To Convince Her To Like You
Well no shit Sherlock, from living in a sausage dominated city called Grande Prairie for many years if some girl says no that usually means you have no shot, so instead of wasting weeks or hours buying drinks for her give up and move onto the sloth sitting in the corner.

08: Looking To Her For Approval or Permission
This is an easy one. If you’re always looking for approval from you’re girlfriend I got news for you.
Pussy Whipped: (1) adj – situation whereupon a male is undeniably at the mercy of his high-maintenance girlfriend & answers to her every beck and call, usually followed by the reprioritizing of girlfriend over friends, family, school, food, water, and air. (omg, tom’s girl has him so fucking pussy whipped that instead of going to the Oilers game with me and the boys, he spent his whole weekend at the pottery barn expo, picking out ceramic cats and china patterns. ::insert cracking bull-whip sound HERE:: )

07: Trying to Buy Her Affection With Food and Gifts
This one is extremely dangerous because even though there is a minuscule amount of girls out there who don’t care about this one chances are the greater percentage will suck you try loving every minute of all the gifts there receiving. Once the cash flow is empty she will confront you about sleeping with your best friend, boss, or much wealthier father.

06: Sharing “How You Feel” Too Early In The Relationship With Her
Some girls will read it, others are just dying to hear that four letter word (*hint it’s love*). A week after spending a couple hours together and you pop the “L” bomb one of two things will happen. One, you get laughed at, bitched slapped, or dumped. Two, you make her cry which ultimately leads to a heavy night of fornication because ironically she loves you too.

05: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
I’ve been around the block and back since the “first time” and I still dont know what the hell goes on in a girls head. I gave up trying to figure that out years ago and proceeded to kill that part of my brain with alcohol. If anyone has any advice be sure to share.

04: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
It does, and if they try to tell you otherwise there either not confident in themselves or simply put, not attractive either. There is probably about a 10% population of girls that DON’T like money. Let’s not kid ourselves.

03: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
See Pussy Whipped Above.

02: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
No guy will ever know what to do its easy to understand. Why? Because no matter how hard you try to prove a point women are ALWAYS right even when there wrong, they always know whats best for you, and apparently always know what you’re thinking.

01: Not Getting Help
This is where the plug for David’s almighty newsletter occurs.

Sure footed facts but if you’ve been to home base at least once in your life you already know this.