A shoutout to Clemdogmillionare and his bro for the introduction to this legendary game

We’ve all been there, needing to kill some time. Perhaps doing some pre-drinking prior to hitting the scene and often finding ourselves stumbling and wondering what the hell we can do to kill a couple hours. Well, if you wanna be trashed prior to going out and doing what most of us here at HotStickyBun do best, making an even bigger ass out of yourself, I have your answer. I take no credit for creating it, maybe just modifying it a bit to get drunker faster.

It’s a drinking game, a made up drinking game for the use of playing video games so feel free to play or change the rules as you see fit. I’d recommend you drink it with beer but if you got the stones to play with hard alcohol or shooters video tape it and please send us the footage and we can add you to our wall of fame. With that said lets get to the rules and game setup.

Gameplay and Rules

We’re playing on the default difficulty. Why? Because goalies are terrible and more goals are scored.
Gameplay speed is maxed out.
Penalties are on (and up a little), offsides are on, icings are on, and of course fighting.

Everything else should be fine, you might want to turn off the play by play because it sucks and if you got some custom music you dont want those tards ruining it.

Team Selection

When you reach the team selection screen each player must hit the randomize button 3 times. No one is allowed either All-Star team.

And now the fun part, the drinking rules!

Basically every whistle you cause more or less will be a drink.

- You go offside x 1 drink
- You ice the puck x 1 drink
- Your goalie freezes the puck x 1 drink
- You take a 2 minute penalty x 2 drinks (please remember if you shoot the puck over the glass that’s an extra drink for stopping the play)
- You take a 4 minute penalty x 4 drinks
- You take a 5 minute major x 5 drinks

Now the fun part(s)

- You score a goal x 1 drink for your opponent
- You win a fight x 5 drinks for your opponent
- You hit the post x 1 drink for your opponent (if you hit 2 or 3 posts with one shot it’s x2 or x3 drinks respectively)
- You score on a penalty shot x 1 shot of your choice for your opponent

A few extra’s

- A broken stick in play is a sociable (meaning everyone watching drinks)
- At the end of the game the loser drinks the differential in goals. Ex: 9 to 5, loser drinks x 4.
- Winner continues to play and eventually gets eliminated because he/she’s far to shattered.

That’s It

I’m sure I am missing some rules but if you have any you would like to add or contribute let us know! We will be back with the NHL12 drinking game when it’s released and we can fine comb some extra rules.

I don’t know how well this is going to turn out, being the first crack at it and especially trying to do it solo (unless you other plugs help) but I’ve already begun preparation and got some ideas for the first episode which I suppose is a start. The good news is despite all the drunk video captured this past weekend I managed to grab a lot of footage on how some of us manage in what’s becoming a lengthy offseason.

I suppose I shouldn’t complain, hockey season is right around the corner and the last moments of sun are upon us it seems. Here’s to hopefully having some solid final weekends on the course, at the lake, on the trails, in the backyard, before the real fun begins.

Be sure to keep coming back, got a lot of good stuff coming in the next week or so. As well give us a follow on our Twitter Account or feel free to follow us individually (walkities, Stilly, Lips, Big Show, Zims, Shelly, Whiskey, Seal).

As well feel free to join us on our slowly improving Facebook fan Page, got some good things popping up on there shortly as well.

I did it!!

 Now I’m not sure how many of the things I want to do before I die that I will actually do, but hopefully it will be most of them. I mean, I’m no famous golfer like my good friend Luke who is already a celebrity and living large, but I’d like to think that anything is possible. I may not ever get to raise the Stanley Cup over my head after battling a tough 7-game final, but whos to say that I’ll never get to kiss it? And I may not ever be a celebrity, but why couldn’t I ever get the chance to throw the first pitch at a MLB game? I think I’ll meet Wayne Gretzky one day and be able to chat with him 1 on 1 about hockey.And you never know, I just might meet Megan Fox one day and marry her. This past fall I was able to achieve a personal goal I set with myself, though not a lifetime one. It was manufactured a few years ago when I fell in love with the Red Sox. I wanted to go to the most historic ball park in the continent and watch my favorite baseball team play. As you can tell in the above picture, I did it.

It started as a kind of joke with a buddy, “Hey wanna come to Boston with me?” And it ended as what will be one of the best weeks of my life. We booked hotels and flights, and I soon realized this was actually going to happen. The trip kept on getting closer and closer, and it was like waiting for Christmas as a kid all over again. Finally the time came, and we flew out of Edmonton, destination Boston. A five hour flight later, a wide-eyed cab ride to the hotel, and before I knew it I was sitting on Harvard campus enjoying cold brew. Or as Bostonites would call it, “Hahvahd”. Love that accent.

The next day was a rainy one, but unreal none-the-less. We made the hour long trip out to Foxboro for the Week 3 game between the New England Patriots, and the Atlanta Falcons. Gillette Stadium. Wow. What more can I say? The biggest arena/stadium I’ve ever seen with my own eyes for sure. And a way different atmosphere than a FL game. Not dissing, but come on. It’s not even close. Ever hear 70,000 people cheer loud, non-stop the entire game? No? Then you’ve never been to an NFL game. It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever experienced, other than sex for the first time, but we won’t go there. I could tell already, this was going to be the SECOND coolest thing I’m going to see this trip. Because the next three night involved a Red Sox game, another Red Sox game, and you guessed it. A third Red Sox game.

Hey Tom, where's Giselle?

The next day started with a walk-about tour of the entire campus of Harvard University, or at least what we thought was all of it. That place is like its own little city inside of Boston. With the Harvard owning all the surrounding apartments/houses/condos along with MIT, the entire river front seems like one gigantic school. After buying some swag we headed back to the hotel to get ready for Red Sox game #1. When the cab dropped us off about a block away from Fenway, it seemed like I was just in any other large city, with a bunch of people walking down the street in Red Sox gear. Then I saw it, and it was amazing. Up the next street were the lights of Fenway. I walked toward it like a moth to a porch light, unaware of the honking car horns and busy street corners. I was being called home. We got closer and there i was, just like I had imagined it from TV. First there was Lansdowne street, right behind the Green Monster. Then, Yawkey Way. With all the championship banners hanging outside, and the multitude of stores, bars, and hot chicks, I thought to myself “This is all I need, I never need to leave”. It was truly amazing. We got our tickets scanned and went to find our seats. On our way we walked by an exit out into the seat and saw that the pre game warmup equipment was still on the field. We wandered out and saw the tail end of the Red Sox batting practice. We walked up right behind the visitors dug out and watched David “Big Papi” Ortiz smash a half-a-dozen homers out into right-centre field. I was in Heaven. Next we walked by Pesky’s Pole out in right field. No picture today though, didn’t bring a marker to sign it. That would have to wait. And then it was time to go sit in the most well known seat in baseball. We ventured out to high right field field and sat in the chair where, supposedly, Ted Williams hit the longest recorded homer at Fenway, 502 feet from home plate. Then we got to our seats and there we watched the Blue Jays spank the Sox in just 6 and 1/2 innings 11-3. The game was called on account of rain, and boy was it pouring! We ended the night at a local pub with a few fellow Canadians who made the trip from Toronto to watch the Jays. How we got back to the hotel si a mystery to Carter and I until this very day. The only proof we have are these two pictures from the cab.

Drunk?

Yep!

The seat beyond Williamsburg, 502ft from Home Plate!

The next two days involved a lot more sight seeing, alot more drinking, and a lot more baseball. We checked out Boston University, walked around MIT for a bit, and took the famous Duck boat tour around the river. The weather was beautiful, and the people were nice. We even went to the place where everybody knows your name! We went to the zoo, museum, and checked out a few malls. We were also so privileged to witness Doc Halladay pitch a complete game shutout, which was unbelievable to be at live. Two days of touring around Boston, and two more Red Sox games, we thought “How could this trip get any better?” Well it turned out that the Boston Bruins were playing their home opener that Thursday night against the Washinton Capitals. What luck eh? So ya, after an NFL game and 3 MLB games, we went to an NHL game. Ovechkin got a couple ginos, the game was hard-fought and fast, and we consumed many more beers. And to boot, we learned that the 2 guys sitting beside us held those two season seats for a mere $1000 each. WTF? I was going to have a hard time coming home. I’m pretty sure I told carter on more than one occasion that he would be taking the return trip home, alone.

TD Garden. Canada Represent!

With only one day left in Beantown, and nothing planned, we tried deciding on something to do. We were watching TV, and saw highlights of the Red Sox game that happened while we were at the Bruins game. It turned out that the Braves were in town for the last series of the regular season. So what did we do? Well I’m glad you asked. That’s right, game number 4 bitches. We went to our sixth straight major sporting event in a row. Now, being a guy and a sports fan, most likely, can you ask for a better trip? I’ll tell you one thing, this one is going to be hard to beat. So we spent our last day relaxing at the hotel and made our way down to Fenway, one last time. Turns out it was fan appreciation night. To make a long story short, and to spare you with many exclamation points and capital letters of excitement, I walked onto the field (dirt warning track right in front of the red sox dugout), shook hands with Jason Varitek and Dustin Pedroia, and got my picture with Kevin “Yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu” Youkilis. It was like the icing on the cake. I met players, walked on the field, signed Peskys Pole, and watched my boy, Jonathan Papelbon come in for the save. What a game, what a ballpark, what a city, what a trip.

Yoooooooooouuuuuuuuu

The Dropkick Murphys put it best in “I’m Shippin Up to Boston”. Although I am neither a sailor, or will I be trying to retrieve my wooden leg that I lost climbing up the top sail. But mark my words; I’ll be back. This article may have sounded like a lot of bragging, and you know what? It was! I still can’t believe what I did back in September-October of 2009. I will remember it for the rest of my life. And I suggest to you, that if you ever get the chance, go to Boston. It will amaze you. If you want to see any more pictures of Beantown, leave a comment. Address it Attn: Darren Walker. He has had the picture for months, yet theyre still not up. Maybe they’ll look better on the new and improved Bun. That’s gotta be why they’re not up yet. Right? Well here’s one that’s different than all the rest i posted. This one was taken specifically for the Bun. Enjoy.

Northeastern USA has now been tainted

I can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack, I believe in peacekeeping, not policing, diversity not assimilation,and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal. A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and it IS pronounced Zed, not Zee… ZED!!

Canada is the 2nd largest land mass, the 1st nation of hockey, and the best part of North America….my name is Walks and I AM CANADIAN!!!

Sidney Crosby Celebrates His Golden Goal

Canadian Patriotism Shines Through

It was a perfect end to an absolutely stunning Winter Olympics. After spending the better part of 8 hours watching the final day of the games I couldn’t help but have a huge smile on my face and become even prouder (if that was possible) to be a Canadian. Here we were as a nation so anxiously awaiting the gold medal game in Men’s hockey Sunday morning knowing full well that even despite all the success we had with the ample amount of gold medals we won it still wouldn’t be the same if we didn’t capture the one medal that meant most to us as a nation.

Now I know there are lots of people who don’t watch hockey religiously like most of the people I tend to be involved with but even if you weren’t a hockey fan you became one Sunday afternoon and watched as an extremely proud nation became that much prouder in what will be a game all of us won’t ever forget. In fact it was almost fitting to see Sidney Crosby score the game winner, it truly put a spectacular finishing touch on what turned out to be some of the best Olympics I’ve ever had the privilege to witness…the only crime was not being in Vancouver for any moment of it, something I will undoubtedly regret the rest of my life. If there is one thing I will do however it will be to attend one whether it be in Sochi or somewhere else in the world.

Inspirational

There is something to be said when it comes to the Olympic games. I often find myself sitting and watching as a world embraces sport and forgets about all the bad things happening in the world for two weeks and think to myself why on earth can’t we use this as an example as to how as a civilization we should be. It’s amazing how something so simple can bring people together from different countries, race, and religion to become one and respect one another regardless. It seems silly to say but even as Canadians we will go back to our stubborn ways, you can almost bet that come the next Flames/Canucks game a fight could break out, people won’t respect one another, and yet bitter political enemies involved in the Olympics can get along just fine over the course of two weeks.

Hockey Opponents Embrace

I suppose that’s what the winter games are made of. I’m sure there are literally hundreds of inspirational stories. Look no further then the two recipients of the 2010 Terry Fox Award.

Joannie Rochette touched a nation when the 24-year-old Ile Dupas, Que. native skated to bronze in the ladies’ event just four days after the sudden passing of her mother. Theresa Rochette, 55, died of a heart attack shortly after arriving in Vancouver to watch her daughter compete in the Games. With the weight of a country and Olympic community behind her, the six-time national champion became the first Canadian female figure skater to reach the podium since Elizabeth Manley claimed silver at the 1988 Calgary Games.

Petra Majdic crashed during training for the cross-country individual sprint classic, falling off the course and into rocks, suffering a collapsed lung and four broken ribs. Determined to compete in the final and unaware to the extent of her injuries, the 30-year-old skier fought through unbearable pain to win bronze, her country’s first medal of the Games.

Whether you’re male or female both women are an inspiration to all of us and have provided us with unforgettable performance.

The Canadian Experience

I suppose one shouldn’t forget how we showed the world what it feels like to be Canadian. There was something about this Olympic Games that was in one word “refreshing”. If there was one general mood that could act as a theme for these Olympic Games, it was that little bit of humour and self-deprecation. The closing ceremonies Sunday night ended up a fantastic finish to showcase our culture, compassion, and of course our utter goofiness. It’s as almost if we are that country that is there to lighten the mood at the party, something we had no problem doing as the games officially came to a close.

Beware of Canada's Giant Inflatable Beavers

The final performances we’re what we as Canadians are all about it. Despite the embarrassment of the opening ceremonies and the tragedy that opened the games there was something you saw in the streets, and something expressed in the closing ceremony that helped showcase the world what we do better then any other nation. There were outsized displays of nationalism, which is to be expected, given the setting, but more than that was the evidence that this is a country now more willing to laugh at itself. We not only let Stephen Colbert call us syrup-suckers, we revelled in it.

It was only fitting Sunday night when Vanoc CEO John Furlong said in his speech: “Now you know us, eh?”

That little “eh” was the keystone to an evening of fun, even if it was at our own expense. William Shatner’s comment that “I’m proud of the fact that we Canadians can have four beers and still pronounce ‘the Strait of Juan de Fuca’ without being censored;” Catherine O’Hara’s moment on Canadian politeness fell a touch flat but kept with the current theme of being Canadian, then there was Michael J. Fox’s moment. (who was spectacular when he helped open the mens hockey with one of those epic opening montages). Wearing a toque when it comes to a bad hair day or wearing a maple leaf regardless of having lived in the States the past 30 years, he could have got a standing ovation just standing there.

Then of course there was Michael Buble and his Broadway production. It was one of the most ridiculous yet wonderfully entertaining performances that I will remember the rest of my life. It was almost as if I had the thought I was watching a new moment in Canada’s image of itself. Dancing Mounties, the giant wooden Mounties being wheeled out, dancing maple leaf broadjournos, and the jigging coureurs des bois in their canoes. Yet as most of this was going on I couldnt help think we we’re missing two important pieces to this puzzle. Just as I thought that of course income the giant beavers and moose. Yet best of all was the giant hockey table game, which was pure genius and a Canadian inside joke that caused a pang in the heart of every Canadian kid of a certain age (notice the gold medals on the hockey players?), it was brilliant, all of it. The joke on us, by us.

The only thing missing was some form of Maple Syrup.

The closing ceremonies we’re exactly what they were supposed to be…fun!

Which is exactly what, for the most part, these 2010 Winter Olympics Games were all about.

Be proud Vancouver and more importantly Canada, you made this goofy kid one happy Canadian!

win·ter (wntr)
n.
1. The usually coldest season of the year, occurring between autumn and spring, extending in the Northern Hemisphere from the winter solstice to the vernal equinox, and popularly considered to be constituted by December, January, and February.
2. A year as expressed through the recurrence of the winter season.
3. A period of time characterized by coldness, misery, barrenness, or death.

n winter [ˈwintə]
the coldest season of the year We often have snow in winter; (also adjective ) winter evenings.

Winter Olympics, more like Spring Olympics!

I love sports. Sports, sports, sports. Come the culmination of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver my mood will be somber, albeit not as somber as not being there right now, but something about this winter Olympics seems to be lacking. Perhaps it’s to early to say that, perhaps it’s because mens ice hockey hasn’t started, but I think the real reason something doesn’t feel right about this Winter Olympics is because “IT’S NOT WINTER”.

Already being noted as the warmest city ever to host the Olympics it didn’t help and doesn’t continue to help that Vancouver is having record temperatures over the course of this Winter Olympics. I hate the cold like anyone else but being able to attend events potentially in shorts and/or a T-shirt isn’t right. They should have held the opening ceremonies inside the Beaverlodge Arena instead, it’s always miserably cold and snowy here.

To Much Pressure?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock the last 24 hours you’ve heard Canada has finally won it’s first gold medal and more importantly it’s first gold medal ever on home soil. Montreal native Alexandre Bilodeau captured gold last night in the men’s moguls helping the entire nation breathe a collective sigh of relief. Over the course of past three year’s all us Canadians have had the reoccurring media voice telling us this could be Canada’s year to win it all. My response to that is to tell them to “shut the hell up”.

Alexandre Bilodeau captures Canada's first gold medal

Let the athletes do their thing, in my personal opinion they don’t need the extra pressure added onto them if they fail to deliver. Why? Because then you have dicks like me complaining about not winning enough medals and seeing power house countries who spend ridiculously into their athletes always walking away with medals. Regardless the Olympics isn’t always about winning, it’s about inspiration. In some cases it’s about both, like our gold medal winner Mr. Bilodeau.

Dale Begg Smith

In other cases it’s about douchebagery, like Mr Begg Smith who couldn’t even care to look interested in reaching the podium for silver. There is a reason people are booing you Smith, your spyware makes sweet innocent people such as myself have to clean computers and you just won a silver medal and apparently could give two f$&%’s. Personally I hope in your endevours in Vancouver you catch gonorrhea.

Your Favorite Moment

It’s still early but for all you lucky people attending the Olympics I’d like to hear you’re favorite moment so far of this winter Olympics. I know all of us eat breath and sleep hockey and a men and womens gold like the Salt Lake Olympics will arguably be the biggest moment for a lot of us but some of the greatest moments will be the ones that no one is expecting.

Till next time kiddos

(PS, Luke/Zimms smarten up!)

As I said, I’m now all about konfidence. Some may even say its my middle name…I’ll leave that one to you. Shi**y occurrences dominate our society. I challenge you to open one media outlet and easily find an encouraging headline. As my colleague (and bfff) noted in The State Of Our Union, the world is a brutal place. So I’ve taken it upon myself to shove rays of sunshine up everyone’s ass today and share with you some past, present and future tales that should put a fat grin on your face.

✔ First of all, I would like to announce a solution to a newfound problem faced by members of the aquarium. It may take some commitment, but I am confident my friends will come through. I have found a place for thy aquarium to reside. When I say thy, I mean all 11 members. It needs a little reno work, but I’m sure if we all pitch in a team effort we can transform it into something worthy of sea beasts and crustaceans. Two words will lure other underwater inhabitants to our new home like the mating calls of dolphins, elk, and the Big Show: Jacuzzi Tub. Can anyone say soak?

The New Aquarium

✔ Second, hats off to the Saints – Vikings game this past sunday. Scratch that, no one wants to see Drew Brees without a lid on his melon. But whether you enjoy the gridiron or not, you cannot deny the fact this game was one worthy of greatness. Don’t believe me? This game (54 million) was the most viewed non-Superbowl television event since the Seinfeld finale in 1998 (75 million). I guess this goes to show how epic Seinfeld is. The Saints have turned a city once ravaged by Katrina and on the brink of self destruction, back into the proud and illustrious party we all know and love. I say Mardi Gras! (and no, you cannot get beads for seeing Big Show’s 54 D’s). It wasn’t all bad for Viking fans either. They will now all know the answer to a question in the 2011 edition of Trivial Pursuit: Who was the only quarterback in NFL history to end his career…twice…on an interception in the NFC title game? ⬇

✔ A passing grade for myself today for getting a high school student’s phone number at a bus stop and wearing a Jonathan Toews jersey to MRU. One act took a lot of balls and the other might turn into a date. Even though I’m scared she might be too old for me, a guy can hope can’t he?

✔ Wow. This can’t be right. Another check-mark for yours truly? Thats right ladies, the upcoming weeks of my life definitely deserve some recognition. My newly tagged Calgary nickname of “Holiday” has caught on nicely, and I intend to fit the mold. This weekend, two fellow sea creatures arrive in the big C for Oilers/Flames, good times, hearty laughter, and probably a few soda pops. To be honest, I’m scared for my safety as Sea Otter has been known to step outside the box. Stay tuned next week for an update, pictures and video from the weekend that was (or what I remember of it).

And last but not least, it seems fitting on the day Apple introduces the iPad, I announce something bigger. I have officially booked the best trip in human history. I’m going to leave the details vague to allow pictures do the explaining when I get back. I will provide a sneak peak exclusive to HSB. Key words: Gonzaga Bulldogs, Bandon Dunes, Golf, Alcohol, Shortys, Oregon Ducks, U.S. Open, Shortys, Olympics, Sunfire, Wolf Pack and Shortys. Look for Luke this time next month…as I hopefully survive my ordeal. One secret I will share…HSB has never been represented in photos better than what I have planned. Bonjourno.

This article has been brought to you by the letter W, for Wholy Fu*k: Luke’s word of the month for February. Because honestly, thats all I’ll be able to say come March.

Oh…and don’t think cuz I’m iced out I’ma cool off.

Arreviderci

I and a couple other sea beasts need a place to live

That’s right a new adventure is upon us. I spent the better part of 8 years living in Edmonton in a condo I owned living with a handful of different roomates and now I am inching closer to moving back into Grande Prairie…the same place I said I would never move back to almost 8 years ago. Not at all surprising considering this is where the majority of people I know live again, even people met in Edmonton for some reason pop up here…not at all sure why.

Regardless I need living accommodations

We will start with the most obvious. It has to be a house, it has to be at least 3 bedrooms and 2 bath, and most important above all it has to have a stripper pole…just kidding (or am I), actually it cant be a scuzz hole. By scuzz hole I mean somewhere that has rocks in the basement, can barely fit 3 people, or has duct tape keeping something held together. With that said we’re looking for an actual house, not a duplex, split level, townhouse etc…a HOUSE! Why? Well because I don’t think our neighbors are going to enjoy the music, company, guitar playing, and at the very least high intensity Rock Band jamming.

The sad thing is I had thought I found the perfect place not merely more then 2 hours of looking but it was to good to be true, the house appeared to only be on the market for a day (at the most). 2 living rooms, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a great backyard with fireplace, and a theater room to top it off. A perfect place for a measly $1200 a month. WHY!!! Personally I place all blame on Zimz and Stilly.

It would be a bonus

Finding a place with a hot tub. I know the bills would increase dramatically but considering the big challenge it is to try and lure the unsuspecting female back to your place having a hot tube would really increase those odds I’m sure. There is nothing better after a hard night of hockey or beer drinking then a 2am soak.

I suppose one way to look at it from my perspective is suppose we had a hot tub, that would mean 2 am soaks almost every weekend I’m sure resulting in either someone catching a disease from scuzzy water or us getting kicked out due to 27 noise complaints each weekend. Again I would blame Zimz and Stilly.

Find Us a place and

I’ll buy you a big bear for your troubles. Better yet if you wanna sell me a fantastic new house for 20 bucks I’ll name my first born child after you. We’re kind of in a rush though because RBK Robinson is coming.

In the meantime

I’ll begin preparation on updating hotstickybun. I usually do this once a year but was quite content on leaving this website for awhile as it seemed to really sky rocket in popularity the last year and a half. I’ve went from nearly topping out at 10,000 a month down to 2,000 and now I’m once again climbing back up to that mark. As much as I hate to admit it I attest much of that success is to the two writers who survived longer then two months I originally gave them. Shockingly enough Zimz post “Athletes You Love To Hate” has topped 1300 views for the month. Congratulations Zimz, you’re officially a blogging hero nerd.

Needless to say I’m still looking to improve on this website as it is something that needs to be pushed over the 10,000 views a month limit. Obviously more videos and pictures are going to be added and I’m always looking for aspiring writers to help out with the cause. With that said more highlight will be given to those other two fluffs as I’ve been slacking with some things (like the ability to look at their old posts!).

Input needed

With that said I’m only one man with one brain (albeit a very large one) but this website needs some more POW and by POW I mean more content. It’s been heavily discussed about having some trailer be put together for a show, nothing spectacular just a 10-15 minute ep here and there. Had I been thinking about this it would have been the perfect season to follow both hockey teams with all the drama and concerns following both clubs. Next year I suppose.

We will be pushing a show out once we move into our new place but it really focuses on just that. What we need are ideas. My opinion is if the people in Whistler can have a show entitled “Peak Season” the people involved in this side project are more then capable of putting on a worthwhile production.

What else would you like to see? Enter in some comments below If someone gives me a acceptable project for this website I will give you free Edmonton Oiler tickets to a select home game of my choosing! I know that’s not much incentive with the shittyness that is the Oilers but it’s a start.

Look Out For It

The new website should be launched before the spring of 2010 and it promises to be a bigger improvement on what’s running now. A lot of the same features will be seen but more content and a new look will take it well into the next year.

I know what you’re all thinking…”Why are you redoing it again Walks”

Well assholes it’s because that’s what web designers do…

Till next time let’s keep those comments coming

Happy Bonjourno aka Happy New Years!

If there is one thing I learned this week it was that I can’t give er as hard as I once used too. There were times back during the “Blades of our Lives” (most notably after an exit from the playoffs) that the team would decide on a week long episode before every player would head his own way for the summer only to convene months later back at the rink and do it all over again. Still I do have to say some of us trooped pretty hard this past week in the city despite it being Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night knowing full well a New Years party was closing in on us on Thursday.

The statisitcs for this past weeks results are as follows.

I warned you I couldn’t Take It

Kilometers Traveled:
Approx 1100
Hockey Games Watched:
6 – Canada vs Swiss, Flames vs Oilers (Live), Canada vs Slovaks, Maple Leafs vs Oilers (Live), Canada vs U.S, Oilers vs Flames
Actual Good Hockey Games Watched:
1, Canada vs U.S.A on New Years Eve
Pizza Consumed:
5 Pies, 2XL Great White Norths, 1XL Hawaiian, 1L Hawaiian, 1L Ham & Pepporoni
Other Food Consumed:
Pizza Bread, Chinese Food, Subway, Quiznos, New York Fries, Taco Time, Hudsons, Brewsters, Moxies
Pounds Gained:
514lbs amongst 4 of us because Stingy doesn’t gain weight.
Puke Spilt:
Probably 4 buckets worth between Primo the Seal and Neely the Sea Bass
Poops Spilt:
Probably 20 buckets worth as every time one got back to the hotel room one would spend 5 minutes with old faithful.
Bars Kicked Out of Or Not Allowed Entry:
1, Just On The Rocks because apparently they’re racist there.
Girls Creeped Out:
5784612, and thats only the ones known about. Something to be said about seeing sweaty sea mammals drinking in a bar that doesn’t overally impress.
Good Times Spent:
4, I’m pretty sure Sea Bass was hung over for two days and wishing he didn’t partake for 48 hours.

Needless to say the above picture represents how we all felt Friday morning, it was so bad neither of us even wanted to think about having drinks on the weekend. Instead we were dubbed the task of playing hockey and then bowling a perfect game…both of which we failed miserably.

I didn’t take any pictures from the road trip as that involves all video which I’ll upload shortly. In the meantime you can check out my shotty work from New Years Pink & White Party in the photo gallery.

2010 Men’s Olympic Hockey Team. I think we should all consider ourselves lucky to witness undoubtably the greatest, yet highly overrated mystery in Canadian history. Who are the 23 men who will take to the ice in Vancouver and try to amend for the utter shameful disaster that was Torino in 2006? For months now experts, analysts and fans alike have debated over this issue, made personalized rosters, and even went as far as to joining a hockey pool based on picking the team. Are you f#$*ing kidding me! We have the best advisory committee in the world choosing the men who will lead us to gold, so do you think I give a flying f%@! what a three dollar crack head thinks who believes TUUK is his shirt residing within his jeans? I’ll let you figure that one out. It is time we leave Stevie Y to do what he does best…win. Thats it. Just shut the f*@! up.

Speaking of crack heads, I’m god damn sick and tired of that pear shaped Harry Potter motherf%$#er on TSN being alive, let alone voicing opinion on our Olympic team. For those who do not know, his picks for team Canada are as follows: Brodeur-Luongo-Price-Bouwmeester-Niedermayer-Phaneuf-Weber-Burns-Green-Boyle-Crosby-Iginla-Lecavalier-Heatley-Getzlaf-Nash-Carter-Thorton-Gagne-Morrow-Richards-Doan-Savard.

I’ll leave you a minute to digest that, think who you would leave on, take off…or insert a large knife directly into your face like I did. I will make one thing quite clear, if this in anyway resembles the team I have to cheer for in Vancouver, I will become an American citizen and tattoo Herb Brooks’ miracle on ice speech in the space between my foreskin and the head of my cock. Have we as a nation completely forgot who we are?  It would explain the parody of hockey we displayed in ’06 thats for damn sure. Mide as well skip the pleasantries and go directly to painting us red, slapping a yellow star, hammer and sickle on our testicles and let us call Ovechkin our daddy.

Does anyone remember 2002? Ok, how about Salt Lake? You know, that minor detail that was arguably the biggest moment in Canadian hockey history? Ahhh, there ya go! Think of that roster. That gold medal was won on the shoulders of a man with one leg…the elbows of a son-of-a-bitch from Dryden Ontario…the blood of Burnaby Joe…the tears of The Great One. Not on the nose of a highlight reel hoax in Calgary or the band-aid on the only frenchman in Philly. Jesus Christ. This is who we are people. Canadians. We win by passion. We win by heart. We win not because we should, but because we want it more than anyone ever will. So each and every one of you get off the bandwagon great starts by a bunch of 20 year olds in the regular season will win this thing. F#@! Winning is a learned trait not inherited one. Ask Sid.

I hear Green over Pronger, Stamkos over Marleau, Price over Fluery…the list goes on and on. Why not send the circus? If we’re not going to send our best…f#$@ send the Hythe Mustangs. In case you haven’t noticed, 1st is the only option. Contrary to popular belief, these young players will fold like a cheap tent and we will lose. Don’t believe me? Check out some stats in the playoffs for half these guys then come bitch at me like you know what you’re talking abut. Hell, if it were up to me I would put Emery and Avery on that team before half the jokes people have been saying. At least we know these two would do whatever it takes to win. Avery would allow us to charge the Russians with murder, and Emery would K.O. anyone who threw rubber his way. They would shut up and know their role. Even though these two may not be the most honorable or popular players, they are closer to the identity of Canadian team than visor wearing fairies who throw up points in the show but have no clue what it takes to win.

Development for the future you say? There will be no future if we do not put forth an ass kicking, face pounding, team of 23 Jarome Iginlas screaming f!*$ the world. Because in case you have forgot, “I know the whole world wants us to lose except Canada and Canadian fans. We respect every team we play. We don’t dislike them. Maybe when we start to dislike them, we play better. I don’t think we dislike these countries as much as they hate us, and that’s a fact. They don’t like us. They want to see us fail. They love beating us. And we’ve got to get the same feeling toward them. It almost sickens my stomach to turn the TV on because I’m such a proud Canadian and such a fan of our game and proud of all the players in our locker room. It makes me ill, some of the things that are said about us.”

Like I mentioned it’s been a good run but the past week has been hell. Forget about all the work related issues with computers, that’s a wash as it happens every week no matter who it’s from. Walks, fix this. Walks my monitor doesn’t work. Walks, I think I spent to much time downloading pornography and it has consumed my computer (no lie this is usually issue number one when it comes to fixing a male’s computer). I’m still not sure why I need to constantly remind people that this is a day and age of free video on the internet and with sites like youtube and break leading the charge anyone with a knowledgeable brain or at least one with sex on the mind should know there are a PLETHORA of youtube related porn sites. Google is your friend people, stop trying to save gigabytes of porn to your computer…it’s a waste of your and my time.

One thing about swine flu and being quarantined from the rest of society is you have far to much time on your hands…like contemplating if the sins you commit on Halloween are forgiven because, well lets face it, everything everyone did on Halloween was bad. Binge drinking, fighting, drinking and driving, slutty costumes, taking a trip with Pedro, etc. all just the tip of the iceberg for some of us. There are plenty of things far worse then what some friends did but I think it will be a safe assumption that hanging out with Patrick Kane should only happen once a year, as well two actual hockey coaches portraying themselves as Graham James in public should probably be kept on the down low. Packs of smokes, stripshows, fornication in a bathroom, long underwear, strange rides with dudes to a party, and urinating in public I’m sure are just the beginning but it’s a safe bet that most of us can be thankful that Halloween only comes once a year.

Sadly the next stop is Christmas which results in colder weather, more snow, and a lot more vodka to keep warm. One would think the cold weather would force some of us to keep our clothes on but when a hot tub is involved nudity is usually a given. Hmm, the more I write the more I start to realize why I’m probably sick in the first place. Hockey! Sharing water bottles is a BAD idea.

Needless to say my time is up and I’m about ready to pass on.

To the couch that is.

Till then the puking and what not I’ve been going through should be a safe reminder to you all to use your own water bottle and of course don’t F^#K PIGS…

Stick to uncles (the video below should explain that).

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv9hOH2vAuM]