I can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack, I believe in peacekeeping, not policing, diversity not assimilation,and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal. A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and it IS pronounced Zed, not Zee… ZED!!

Canada is the 2nd largest land mass, the 1st nation of hockey, and the best part of North America….my name is Walks and I AM CANADIAN!!!

Sidney Crosby Celebrates His Golden Goal

Canadian Patriotism Shines Through

It was a perfect end to an absolutely stunning Winter Olympics. After spending the better part of 8 hours watching the final day of the games I couldn’t help but have a huge smile on my face and become even prouder (if that was possible) to be a Canadian. Here we were as a nation so anxiously awaiting the gold medal game in Men’s hockey Sunday morning knowing full well that even despite all the success we had with the ample amount of gold medals we won it still wouldn’t be the same if we didn’t capture the one medal that meant most to us as a nation.

Now I know there are lots of people who don’t watch hockey religiously like most of the people I tend to be involved with but even if you weren’t a hockey fan you became one Sunday afternoon and watched as an extremely proud nation became that much prouder in what will be a game all of us won’t ever forget. In fact it was almost fitting to see Sidney Crosby score the game winner, it truly put a spectacular finishing touch on what turned out to be some of the best Olympics I’ve ever had the privilege to witness…the only crime was not being in Vancouver for any moment of it, something I will undoubtedly regret the rest of my life. If there is one thing I will do however it will be to attend one whether it be in Sochi or somewhere else in the world.

Inspirational

There is something to be said when it comes to the Olympic games. I often find myself sitting and watching as a world embraces sport and forgets about all the bad things happening in the world for two weeks and think to myself why on earth can’t we use this as an example as to how as a civilization we should be. It’s amazing how something so simple can bring people together from different countries, race, and religion to become one and respect one another regardless. It seems silly to say but even as Canadians we will go back to our stubborn ways, you can almost bet that come the next Flames/Canucks game a fight could break out, people won’t respect one another, and yet bitter political enemies involved in the Olympics can get along just fine over the course of two weeks.

Hockey Opponents Embrace

I suppose that’s what the winter games are made of. I’m sure there are literally hundreds of inspirational stories. Look no further then the two recipients of the 2010 Terry Fox Award.

Joannie Rochette touched a nation when the 24-year-old Ile Dupas, Que. native skated to bronze in the ladies’ event just four days after the sudden passing of her mother. Theresa Rochette, 55, died of a heart attack shortly after arriving in Vancouver to watch her daughter compete in the Games. With the weight of a country and Olympic community behind her, the six-time national champion became the first Canadian female figure skater to reach the podium since Elizabeth Manley claimed silver at the 1988 Calgary Games.

Petra Majdic crashed during training for the cross-country individual sprint classic, falling off the course and into rocks, suffering a collapsed lung and four broken ribs. Determined to compete in the final and unaware to the extent of her injuries, the 30-year-old skier fought through unbearable pain to win bronze, her country’s first medal of the Games.

Whether you’re male or female both women are an inspiration to all of us and have provided us with unforgettable performance.

The Canadian Experience

I suppose one shouldn’t forget how we showed the world what it feels like to be Canadian. There was something about this Olympic Games that was in one word “refreshing”. If there was one general mood that could act as a theme for these Olympic Games, it was that little bit of humour and self-deprecation. The closing ceremonies Sunday night ended up a fantastic finish to showcase our culture, compassion, and of course our utter goofiness. It’s as almost if we are that country that is there to lighten the mood at the party, something we had no problem doing as the games officially came to a close.

Beware of Canada's Giant Inflatable Beavers

The final performances we’re what we as Canadians are all about it. Despite the embarrassment of the opening ceremonies and the tragedy that opened the games there was something you saw in the streets, and something expressed in the closing ceremony that helped showcase the world what we do better then any other nation. There were outsized displays of nationalism, which is to be expected, given the setting, but more than that was the evidence that this is a country now more willing to laugh at itself. We not only let Stephen Colbert call us syrup-suckers, we revelled in it.

It was only fitting Sunday night when Vanoc CEO John Furlong said in his speech: “Now you know us, eh?”

That little “eh” was the keystone to an evening of fun, even if it was at our own expense. William Shatner’s comment that “I’m proud of the fact that we Canadians can have four beers and still pronounce ‘the Strait of Juan de Fuca’ without being censored;” Catherine O’Hara’s moment on Canadian politeness fell a touch flat but kept with the current theme of being Canadian, then there was Michael J. Fox’s moment. (who was spectacular when he helped open the mens hockey with one of those epic opening montages). Wearing a toque when it comes to a bad hair day or wearing a maple leaf regardless of having lived in the States the past 30 years, he could have got a standing ovation just standing there.

Then of course there was Michael Buble and his Broadway production. It was one of the most ridiculous yet wonderfully entertaining performances that I will remember the rest of my life. It was almost as if I had the thought I was watching a new moment in Canada’s image of itself. Dancing Mounties, the giant wooden Mounties being wheeled out, dancing maple leaf broadjournos, and the jigging coureurs des bois in their canoes. Yet as most of this was going on I couldnt help think we we’re missing two important pieces to this puzzle. Just as I thought that of course income the giant beavers and moose. Yet best of all was the giant hockey table game, which was pure genius and a Canadian inside joke that caused a pang in the heart of every Canadian kid of a certain age (notice the gold medals on the hockey players?), it was brilliant, all of it. The joke on us, by us.

The only thing missing was some form of Maple Syrup.

The closing ceremonies we’re exactly what they were supposed to be…fun!

Which is exactly what, for the most part, these 2010 Winter Olympics Games were all about.

Be proud Vancouver and more importantly Canada, you made this goofy kid one happy Canadian!

Alex Bilodeau will remember this one for a life time

As the rest of the games went on, it seemed all too familiar. The odd bronze, a silver here and there, and a lot of fourth/fifth finishes. Then something started happening. Canada was winning golds. We kept hearing about the COC stating that we will not meet our projected medal count, but nothing was being said about all the first place golden finishes we were having. It didn’t seem like much, but we were in fact keeping up with the US, Germany, and Norway in Gold count. It wasn’t until the last couple of days when we all started to realize, hey, we can make this OUR Olympics. With golds rolling in everywhere from pair ice dancing, skeleton, bobsleigh, curling, ski cross and speed skating, it seemed we were on the right track to head to the record books. And don’t worry girls I won’t forget to mention the Womens hockey team owning the States to win us yet another gold. In the 17th and final day of the Olympics, with 13 gold medals (a tie for the most won by a country in a single winter olympics) we had one last shot to be the sole holder of that record with another gold. Mens Hockey.

Canadian women (Kaillie Humphries and Heather Moyse) capture gold in the 2 man bobsled

Ashleigh McIvor captures the first ever Gold in Women's Ski Cross

Canadian skip Kevin Martin shows off his golden hardware

The Canadian women's hockey team knows how to celebrate Gold!

I couldn’t have written a better finish myself. In what some were calling the greatest hockey tournament of all time, Canada would face America in the final. With the USA being undefeated and the top team in the preliminary round, and Canada having a questionable first couple games, however only losing to the States all tournament, it was a match made in Heaven to battle it out for Gold. Canada vs USA. We all knew we were in for a treat, but none could have predicted what was about to happen on that Sunday afternoon in Vancouver at Canada Place. With Canada up 2-1, and the clock ticking down to under 30 seconds left in the 3rd, the unthinkable happened. An entire country let out a collective gasp as Zach Parise and the Americans tied the game. With celebration of victory in our grasp, it was gone in an instant. But what would come of this is a moment that no Canadian will ever forget. What seemed like a broken play by the referee in overtime, Crosby poked the puck back into the corner to Jarome Iginla. No less than a micro second later you could hear Crosby yell at the top of his lungs, “IGGY” as he headed for the net. In one quick sweep Iggy fed Sid the puck and in an instant it was in the back of the net. The entire country erupted. Sidney Crosby with the golden goal, probably the biggest goal he will ever score. The biggest anone has had since Lemieux in ‘87, and even Henderson’s in ‘72. What a perfect way to end it. We are back on top of the world in hockey, right where we should be. Here is an image that is burned into my memory, as the replay keeps playing over, and over in my head. What a goal.

The goal that brought a country to it's feet

Now as I watch the all the replays and recaps of these Olympics, I, like Pat Quinn, can’t help but shed a tear. We should all be so proud of our athletes, and we should all be so proud to be Canadian. We are a great nation, and there is none other out there like us. I mean, who else would poke fun at themselve like we did in the Closing ceremonies? Not Russia, that’s for sure. All in all, these games were great. I wish I could of been there in person to experience it all like a few friends of mine that got the chance. But I think I was there, in that arena especially. Along with 36 million other people, as we scored that goal, and made Olympic history. Man, I Love being Canadian!

Spring Break. When it comes to mind, what do you automatically think of?

BOOM! Shortys. Unfortunately for most of us, we are stuck in this wretched shit hole climate we call winter. By no means am I complaining about the weather, because quite frankly this is the warmest cold spell I’ve ever been a part of. But seriously, Spring Break north of the 49th is all about catching up on forgotten assignments, seeing daylight in the dog days of winter, and the grande finale: suicide prevention for university students. Wtf?! In the dirty south its all about tits, brews and venereal disease. To say the least, this great nation of ours gets shafted in Spring Break worse than the Blades in John. Too soon? Naw, its not like i pulled a Milbury and called the biggest hoax to take the ice in Vancouver a pile of “Eurotrash.” Anyway…tired of being stifled by the snow and needing an escape, two friends and I embarked on a mission to Oregon to find the American Dream…and find it we did.

I’m not going to sit here and bore you with the details. We golfed. We drove. We drank. Shortys flocked and bodies dropped. The usual. Where it really got interesting was with the fulfillment of one small Canadian’s dream to visit an authentic American pancake house; IHOP. Being seated, we found exactly what we were looking for. To our left, an elderly couple, the gentlemen in a wheelchair with oxygen tanks, breathing tubes and medical bills that would make us shit. An official HSB shout out to Lucky Strike for providing us this opportunity. To our rear, a woman wearing a king bed sheet as a skirt teaching her 6 year old daughter how to pour syrup in a slight notch in the center of the pancake to maximize absorption. Another official HSB shout out to Colonel Sanders for making dreams come true. The icing on the cake you say? To our right, a buzzed cut American soldier in his full army costume with his wife and twin daughters. Yes, you read right…costume. Smiles were absent at this table, and unfortunately, the two daughters were born with an extra 21st chromosome (insert Family Guy clip here). So there it was: The American Dream. Millions around our planet dream of one day obtaining this Dream, clutching to it like Paul Wight a drumstick. Tell you what, Ill take my Kokanee and socialist health care over that f&*#ing skank shit hole anyday.

It takes experience like that to make a person realize how f@!$ing awesome we actually are. Canada is the tits, and we all need to appreciate where we live a little more than we do.

Joannie Rochette – Seriously sweetheart, you showed more balls tonight than I ever thought possible. You showed the heart and soul of a nation through the toughest time of your life. This is what it means to be Canadian.

Jon Montgomery – Classic. You said f*@# the world, let me celebrate the greatest accomplishment of my life by crushing a jug of Rickards Red in the public eye on the streets of Vancouver. This is what it means to be Canadian.

Canadian Hockey – Once again you rise from the ashes and come through when it matters most. When losing isn’t an option, you come out with a gold medal and a drubbing of the “best” team in Van city. This is what it means to be Canadian.

Finally…John Toews – A hideous, balding 22 year old buck tooth Manitoban is a common occurrence. Being the best player at the Olympics isn’t. Hats off to you my friend. You are officially the most underrated player of all time…at 22. Being humble while kicking ass, now this is what it means to be Canadian.

This article has been brought to you by the letter C, for Classic. Luke’s word of the month for March. A gold medal around Yzerman’s neck fingering all the fans who know more about hockey than he does, classic!

Til next time bitches.

I’m sure all of you reading this have been watching at least some TV in the last week, so you should all know how Canada has been faring in the Olympics overall. We’re winning the odd medal, some gold, some not, with hopefully many more to come. But as far as I’m concerend, once that first gold was achieved, I could care less how many more medals we win. As long as we win it all in Men’s Hockey. It’s gold or bust for this years squad, boasting talent of the likes of Crosby, Nash, Thornton and many more of the NHL’s top superstars. Anything else is just not acceptable in the eyes of this nation, as well as the team itself I’m sure. With a disappointing showing  in 2006, finishing 7th, our boys have a tough road ahead of them in order to prove to the world who’s game they’re all playing. With Ovechkin leading the Russian’s powerful offence, the defending champs from ‘06 Sweden looking as strong as ever, Jagr leading the Czech’s, and the dark horse that is Slovakia, it will be no easy task for Canada to walk away on top. They wil have to play their hearts out and put everything on the line for their country; and I’m certain they will.

As predicted before the tournament started, it will come down to Sunday’s game against the USA to decide who will win Pool A, and advance directly to the Quarter-Finals. It may be Canada’s deciding game, because if they lose, they risk the chance of getting a team like Russia, Sweden or the Czech’s in the Quarters, and that would not be good. Not saying I’m scared they are gonna lose, but a weaker team in the first round of elimination is always favoured. After last nights Preliminary game against the Swiss, a few changes must be made by Canada in order to defeat our southern neighbours. Let’s start with probably the most important part of any hockey team; goaltending. Babcock can’t go wrong with either Brodeur or Luongo in net to face the States, but which netminder is the right decision? Luongo played a solid 60 minutes against a weak Norway team, however making a few key saves on scoring chances. Brodeur got the start against the Swiss, as the coaching staff knew it would be the tougher contest of the first two games, and Brodeur’s Olympic experience was the better choice. A few big saves, a lucky goal, and a solid win for Marty. Now, with a game against the Americans, a much bigger threat, who does Mike Babcock choose to backstop our way directly to the QF? It will be no easy task deciding who it will be, but I’m gonna go with the greasy porn star himself, Bobby Louuuuuuuuuu. He has been stellar this season so far, and I think he will give the Canadians a chance to win. And if it happens where he plays sub-par, then the reigns go back to Marty to carry us to gold.

Now lets’s take a step up on the ice to the defence of team Canada. With no real test thus far from any big offensive threats from the Swiss and Norway, they will be in for a tougher game against the forwards from the US. The Americans are coming into these games an underdog, but a very powerful underdog who would love nothing more than beating Canada on our home rink. They should not be taken lightly, and I think our defence will show that come game-time on Sunday. Look for our defence to become far more physical, playing a very tough in-your-face game against America. The powerplay will also need to start rolling, and it starts with the blue line. Keith, Pronger, and Neidermayer need to get their offensive game going, like we all know they can. As far as the forwards go, not many complaints here. The Canadian forwards are doing all that is asked of them, except capitalizing more. Now, Hiller did stand on his head in the Swiss game, but in order to win  you have to find a way to score. Bodies in front of the net and shots from the point will be key in beating Miller, who will start for the United States. And if I could say one thing to Babcock right now, it would be “Play Crosby more”!!! This kid is unbelievable, and so clutch when the game is on the line. Canada is bolstered by many offensively talented players, but in my mind, Sidney Crosby is this teams make or break player. He wears his heart on his sleeve and leaves nothing out there on the ice. If he is on his game, Canada is in good shape.

After writing this article, I will be on my way to Jasper to start my training for the 2014 Olympics in Russia. Look for me in the boarder cross come the next winter games. I mean, a guy can learn to snowboard that good in four years right? Well it’s worth a shot I guess. Zims out, enjoy the rest of the Olympics!!

win·ter (wntr)
n.
1. The usually coldest season of the year, occurring between autumn and spring, extending in the Northern Hemisphere from the winter solstice to the vernal equinox, and popularly considered to be constituted by December, January, and February.
2. A year as expressed through the recurrence of the winter season.
3. A period of time characterized by coldness, misery, barrenness, or death.

n winter [ˈwintə]
the coldest season of the year We often have snow in winter; (also adjective ) winter evenings.

Winter Olympics, more like Spring Olympics!

I love sports. Sports, sports, sports. Come the culmination of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver my mood will be somber, albeit not as somber as not being there right now, but something about this winter Olympics seems to be lacking. Perhaps it’s to early to say that, perhaps it’s because mens ice hockey hasn’t started, but I think the real reason something doesn’t feel right about this Winter Olympics is because “IT’S NOT WINTER”.

Already being noted as the warmest city ever to host the Olympics it didn’t help and doesn’t continue to help that Vancouver is having record temperatures over the course of this Winter Olympics. I hate the cold like anyone else but being able to attend events potentially in shorts and/or a T-shirt isn’t right. They should have held the opening ceremonies inside the Beaverlodge Arena instead, it’s always miserably cold and snowy here.

To Much Pressure?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock the last 24 hours you’ve heard Canada has finally won it’s first gold medal and more importantly it’s first gold medal ever on home soil. Montreal native Alexandre Bilodeau captured gold last night in the men’s moguls helping the entire nation breathe a collective sigh of relief. Over the course of past three year’s all us Canadians have had the reoccurring media voice telling us this could be Canada’s year to win it all. My response to that is to tell them to “shut the hell up”.

Alexandre Bilodeau captures Canada's first gold medal

Let the athletes do their thing, in my personal opinion they don’t need the extra pressure added onto them if they fail to deliver. Why? Because then you have dicks like me complaining about not winning enough medals and seeing power house countries who spend ridiculously into their athletes always walking away with medals. Regardless the Olympics isn’t always about winning, it’s about inspiration. In some cases it’s about both, like our gold medal winner Mr. Bilodeau.

Dale Begg Smith

In other cases it’s about douchebagery, like Mr Begg Smith who couldn’t even care to look interested in reaching the podium for silver. There is a reason people are booing you Smith, your spyware makes sweet innocent people such as myself have to clean computers and you just won a silver medal and apparently could give two f$&%’s. Personally I hope in your endevours in Vancouver you catch gonorrhea.

Your Favorite Moment

It’s still early but for all you lucky people attending the Olympics I’d like to hear you’re favorite moment so far of this winter Olympics. I know all of us eat breath and sleep hockey and a men and womens gold like the Salt Lake Olympics will arguably be the biggest moment for a lot of us but some of the greatest moments will be the ones that no one is expecting.

Till next time kiddos

(PS, Luke/Zimms smarten up!)

Who could forget the the cartoon Captain Planet? You know, the one about the gay superhero and his ambiguously gay planeteers? I for one cant, in fact I’m quite sure it’s a toss up between the one known as Captain Planet and Robin as the gayest super heroes of all time. Needless to say I didn’t stay up till 3am on a Friday night (or Saturday morning if you’re one of those people) to talk about green super hero tights, instead I stayed up so I could talk about the man himself…Captain Planet!

Save the Planet or Ill Fucking Kill You

Ok maybe not so much Captain Planet

Busted, Im not here to talk about Captain Planet and that uber ridiculous cartoon. I did have a moment this afternoon when I was on my way home from work thinking about the cartoon that’s morals were to “Protect the Environment” and “be kind to the environment”. Being a kid growing up I could care less about what the moral of that show was, I was more so interested in which store would sell me one of those badass rings the planeteers had. Fast forward to today and I’m still looking for one (or all) of those badass rings so I can kick the ever living shit out of everyone out there who at least doesn’t make a conscious effort to perhaps save at least one more day of this planet.

I had never thought to much of myself as someone who overly cared about what’s happening with all our shitty waste in fact it probably wasn’t until working for the town of Beaverlodge some 10 (or so) odd years ago that I began to realize we are making this planet a shitty place to live for our kids and our kids kids. Last spring only sealed my impressions that this planet could be unbearable to live in before we end up bombing everyone to death. Don’t believe me? All you need to do is take a drive around the city or town once the snow has all but melted and see how many plastic bags are either blowing in the wind, stuck in trees, or caught on barb wired fences.

Plastic Bags Blow

Trillions of plastic bags are made each year using millions of gallons of oil. The end result is mostly garbage. Once thought of as a way to help keep forests from being cut down, the plastic bag is now one of the most common forms of pollution. Last spring while still living in Edmonton I made a trip out to St. Albert to visit my brother. My journey over involved cruising past an open field with a barbed wire fence running along side it, the road was no more then 2km long before my turnoff but I still remember it like it was yesterday as I could have counted 200 plastic bags stuck on this fence. Disgusting!

Sadly that trip and seeing those plastic bags wouldn’t be the worst thing I would see.

On the way back being stopped at a light I look across the road to see a young Broad (let me rephrase that, she doesn’t deserve that class it takes to be a broad), bitch who had opened her door and literally thrown her garbage in the middle of the road. The light turned green and off she sped not thinking twice about the atrocity she had just committed.

It was one of the moments in my life where I was actually in disbelief at what I had just seen. I thought to myself “are people really that pathetic and lazy”. Apparently they are. I’m not sure why its so hard for someone to keep garbage in their vehicle for 20 more minutes and throw it in the garbage to where it can at least be disposed of to where it’s designated. Again..apparently not because today as I was driving home I had about 4 cigarette butts thrown at me and a bag of garbage.

Start Caring

Your Kids Future Swimming Hole

Our generation will be alright but for all you family orientated people I know out there let me ask you this, “do you want your children to pay for your laziness?” 99.9 % of you I’m willing to bet are saying “No” yet we continue to have blinders on when it comes to something so simple as even recycling. Bottles…great, but let’s face it most of that is because you receive money back in return. Computers, televisions, magazines, phone books, etc, I still see a lot of people throwing these things in the trash. I had the privilege of seeing where that all went this summer when I took ample trips to the dump.

Worst part about that trip was seeing the 100 or so garbage bags that people we’re taking to the dump on the side of the road in the ditch. “Hey buddy we just lost a bag of garbage”….”Ah F&$& it!”.

I’m No Saint

I wont come on here claiming to be some sort of superhero like Captain Planet but I try my best to do my part. I don’t shop with plastic bags (and if I do I return them to be reused or give them back to the store), I recycle not just bottles but all my electronic equipment that I’ve burnt through over the past 10 years, I clean up after myself, I refuse to throw trash out the window of my vehicle, for that matter if anyone does it while they’re riding with me they will either go pick it up or not be sitting in the passenger seat with me again.

Baby steps people, it doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to make this world a better place to live. If we started today we would have 100% employment for decades trying to clean up the mess we’ve created. The good news is cities are slowly starting to follow suit with the banning of plastic bags and with a little push from the UN it may become a reality. I dont doubt some of you are thinking it’s silly but there is no denying that this world has a problem, one needs look no further then Garbage Island in the Pacific Ocean.

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, also described as the Pacific Trash Vortex, is a gyre of marine litter in the central North Pacific Ocean located roughly between 135° to 155°W and 35° to 42°N and estimated to be twice the size of Texas.[1] The patch is characterized by exceptionally high concentrations of suspended plastic and other debris that have been trapped by the currents of the North Pacific Gyre. Despite its size and density, the patch is not visible from satellite photography because it consists of very small pieces, almost invisible to the naked eye [2] and most of its contents are suspended beneath the surface of the ocean

Garbage Island is two times the size of Texas and growing

Do Your Part

Please, I like to think I still have many good years left (5 maybe) and I would hate to see it be ruined by getting mysteriously suffocated to death by a plastic bag or drinking some tainted water. This is probably one of the more sincere blogs I will ever write on this website because believe it or not it is one of the few things that really has my attention. Our habits will be a direct result of how our kids, our kids kids, and our kids kids kids act. Think about it and think about the future.

If not Ill have to sick Ted Turner on your ass