On a daily basis it’s almost rare that any of us dont access the internet or an internet based site. It’s become so reptitive something so simple as checking or updating your Facebook page or Twitter account is part of our daily lives. Yet today in an age where technology quadruples every year we have dinosaurs with large pockets relying on the past to keep their hold on humanity and police the less fortunate.

This past week has been a pretty big one in terms of the world as we know it on the internet. If you havent heard of SOPA or PIPA you’ve obviously been living under a rock (read this) . I’ve had numerous people ask me the past couple days what is with this hell bent political refuge I’ve been on on twitter. To put it simply, SOPA, PIPA, now ACTA, and soon to be bill C-61 in Canada is another feeble attempt at the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) and the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) to bribe the U.S government and put laws in place so they can police the internet.

A few days ago SOPA was stopped thanks to a huge outroar from regular Joes like you and I. Protests were held, petitions were signed, letters were sent to congress, amongst other things. The internet sighed a huge breath of relief. Only to be outraged moments later when the FBI, (part of the US Government) raided MegaUpload and arrested many members involved in its creation, thus proving the lack of need for bills such as SOPA to even be passed.

So why the need for such a thing?

Fairly simple, Hollywood wants to control the internet.

Dont believe it?

Chris Dodd, ex–US senator and current CEO of the Motion Picture Ass. of America, may face a White House investigation after he made an extraordinary outburst that appeared to threaten politicians who had the audacity to take the entertainment industry’s money and then abandon SOPA/PIPA online-piracy legislation.

“Those who count on quote ‘Hollywood’ for support need to understand that this industry is watching very carefully who’s going to stand up for them when their job is at stake,” Dodd told Fox News. “Don’t ask me to write a check for you when you think your job is at risk and then don’t pay any attention to me when my job is at stake.” Read the rest here…

So what

I imagine the majority of you who do actually take the time to read this will shrug your shoulders and say “so what” instead of understanding whats actually at stake here. It seems we have hit a cross road in the internet, on one side we have a corporate hungry giant who continues to want to feed itself by suing the same people who make our countries operate while on the other you have those same people being sued who cant compete with big bucks and most certainly cant fight the government, who ironically enough are only there because the people vote for them. Yet how do you fix said problem? By voting someone else in? Doubtful, as we head down the same path with more corporate bribes and less attention to the actual solution…

Adaptation

We live in a digital age, gone are the days of renting movies at the movie store, purchasing a CD etc. We want access to our content as fast as possible. The internet is a wonderful thing for such things, today we have things like Netflix, Hulu, Itunes, to all serve our entertainment needs. When you get home from work wouldnt you rather want to watch a movie with a click of a button as opposed to driving to a movie rental place, coming home, and hoping your scratched rental plays in your Blue-Ray player?

It seems so simple, I truthfully dont understand what is so hard about embracing this change.

What Can Be Done

In protest to SOPA the past week seen internet giants like Wikipedia, Reddit, Google, etc all make the web aware by “going black” and shutting down there sites for 24 hours. I’ve read numerous petitions to “Boycott Hollywood” in March by not attending or renting any movies, purchasing music, or watching TV. An idea that if it were ever to succeed would help send a message but things like this are pointless, no different then all the “Dont Fuel Up Days To Drop Gas Prices”. They never work and with Hollywood this never will.

Being made aware of the situation seems like the biggest task. With SOPA and PIPA being pasted all over the net and people praising the fact they managed to help it get stopped (for now) the web won a battle in its fight for freedom. Yet behind closed doors now lies ACTA, which more or less is the same shit but in a different pile…a much bigger pile.

ACTA is the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement, worse, the agreement spans virtually all of the countries in the developed world, including all of the EU, the United States, Switzerland and Japan.

Many of these countries have already signed or ratified it, and the cogs are still turning. The treaty has been secretly negotiated behind the scenes, with unelected bureaucrats working closely with entertainment industry lobbyists to craft the provisions in the treaty. The Bush administration started the process, but the Obama administration has aggressively pursued it.

Indeed, we’ve already signed on to the treaty. All it needs now is Senate ratification. The time to stop the treaty is now, and we may need a second global internet blackout to call attention to it.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Xg_C2YmG0

Unsettling

We are at a cross roads in the way we use the internet. If they have their way whats to stop them from going after you? I’ve fixed viruses, worms, malware, and more on peoples computers and laptops for years and I still see file-sharing services like Limewire running. Something so simple as not turning that off could land you in jail if this law passes. Will they? Well one won’t know until it happens but dont you think the United States and the rest of the world has more important things to focus on then suing someone who downloads two songs? Hell lets overpopulate our jails with copyright infringement cases and forget about murders, rapists, and drug dealers. Better yet let’s bust the ass of the people who keep the country alive so we can buy a new sportscar, lets most certainly not spend our vast resources, knowledge, and money to help educate and better the human race.

The time is now, dont go into the dark not knowing or caring about this, especially if you’re someone who uses the internet daily. The future is in our hands to stop this destruction of our rights and freedoms and I reiterate again that even if you think it doesnt effect you, if you access the internet it does. Ask yourself these questions if you dont think it does…

Have I ever uploaded a video on youtube/Facebook/Twitter covering another artists song (IE via guitar, singing, etc)?
Have I ever uploaded a video on youtube/Facebook/Twitter with music in the background from another artist?
Have I ever posted a photo to the same sites not knowing about what is and isnt mine in that photo?
Have I ever shared media with my friends?
Have I ever wrote a blog discriminating against the MPAA or RIAA (like this one)?

You can see my point, if you answered yes to any of those then under new law you will be a “pirate” or a “thief”.

The future is in our hands, dont take it for granted…

Names and faces have been hidden to protect the identity of those to embarrassed to realize they were being twitter creeps

Many months back on a simple roadie from a hockey trip a couple of “Certified Beauticians” were surfing the mobile web (twitter more specifically) and stumbled across the identity of a young woman who claimed to be a loving Canucks fan, a big hockey fan, and more importantly a legitimate puck bunny.

“She was a beaut, real attractive” said Anonymous #1. “Judging from her pictures we couldn’t determine if she was real young and hot or legal age and hot, this was debated for days on end”.

Anonymous #2 felt the same urges.

“The first time I seen her I got the old romantic feeling…where I would do anything to bone her”.

Known as legitpuckbunny to the twitter universe the girl would soon catapult through the ranks of followers from 500 to 1000, 1000 to 2000, and as of this report she currently sits with over 3000 followers, all horny males showing their affection in hopes of a retweet, a new picture, or even better a potential boob shot.

When asked what made her so popular, Anonymous #1 responded,

“She liked to constantly flirt with her followers, I tried to get her phone number so I could go down to Vancouver and stalk her professionally, but that appears to be out now…I suppose Im going to have to focus on working now. Oh, and she was hot…real hot.”

But alas, in the world of internet a twist to the story would take place on November 15th, 2011 thanks to the sleuthing (creeping probably) of one Hotstickybun Hard Copy members.

“I was working hard whispering sweet nothings into girls ears through Direct Messages on Twitter when I stumbled across the profile of some blonde bombshell. I had to follow, it was a no brainer. Better yet she had her Facebook profile on her Twitter page and it was open so I could view her pictures, it was then that I realized some pics I had saved to my hard drive were on this girls Facebook profile. I thought originally that she had two accounts but then feared the worst. Soon after truth became reality and my heart broke into a million pieces, I thought for sure all the love we shared online was real but it was a lie, a terrible terrible lie!”

Heartbreaking.

What many Twitter Creeps would and will soon realize is that someone stole the identity an individual from Orego, a young woman (probably a guy), and took this tragic and unsuspecting individual to become an overnight celebrity with teenage boys and desperate men throughout the internet. Today the HSB Hard Copy reveals the scam that was legitpuckbunny.

“Shocking to say the least” commented Anonymous 3, “Most my days revolved around seeing what she was tweeting, just the other day I was showing my teammates pictures of her thinking I was the man, I’m pretty sure I contributed a couple hundred people to her followers list. Her, god I hope it’s a her, I said some pretty sexy things and she said them back, if shes a guy I think that makes me a fag.”

After trying to reach Legitpuckbunny for comment HSB Hard Copy was unable to get a response, our only thought is she is into a bucket of Ice Cream to scared to show her face. For various reasons.

Gone is the belief that good looking girls actually use the internet, and more importantly a potential tshirt model in the making.

Throughout the years of the internet many people have had their identities stolen from predators waiting to pounce on others hard work or in this case the looks of an attractive woman. We at Hard Copy urge all you to look hard at your lives and stop chatting with people through online dating sites and stick to whats true on the internet, that being Porno.

Is there anything more real then 2 girls 1 cup?

We dont think so.

We had HSB Hard Copy dont gather any facts or truths, we write what we hear. While we figure this to be fact it may indeed be fiction because its the god damn internet.

Back when Flash was huge and back when flash games were epic a now defunct company called Romp Entertainment (TheRomp.com) created Jakes Booty Call. As one can guess the whole premise of the game is to take your character, Jake, and get him laid. So who is Jake? He is the Ultimate Alpha Male. Don’t take my word for it, play and find out for yourself.

The question is do you have what it takes to be like Jake?

Game Play Instructions: Just Click On a Thumbnail And Follow The On Screen Instructions

Extra Booty

If that wasnt enough there were three extra episodes

The fact of a matter is over the past couple months I’ve been doing a lot of work to put forth a business idea that was initially nothing more then a pipe dream…hell, it still is at this moment but at least progress has been made. I’m not going to spill the beans just yet as to what I will be doing but over the next few weeks some exciting things will be made public and the launch of a website should occur hopefully by the end of the month of November.

The Beginning

This is just the start. For all I know it may ultimately lead to nothing but really, what is the harm in trying. The idea was invented the same way most good ideas are…a night of drinking beers and watching hockey in the lair. What initially started out nothing more then a night out on the town has led to a never ending discussion of “what ifs” and “how do’s” amongst a few of us. Thrown into the mix is certain DJ’s and clubs promoting our currently uncreated brand and endless dollars being spent.

The Next Step

Oddly enough the name is out there. I’m not entirely sure or if anyone remembers it at this moment but given the last few appearances in Edmonton at the OCR I’m sure the staff remembers who we are. Some of you are thinking big deal. Well, that one in may be all we need to get things started. Now that we’ve been offered VIP treatment anytime we arrive we wont miss the next opportunity to spread the word.

What that word is will have to wait however until the dream becomes a miniscule reality. Until that happens things will be kept under wraps, but I will promise a new website I’m making to be launched in the next month that should help answer some of the questions and direction we are heading.

Until next time, team HSB out.

We might as well first get this out of the way.

Duckface Definition: Stupid facial expression put forth by stupid women that don’t know how to smile. The Duckface is made by moving both lips as far up and outward as possible. Commonly seen in photos of slutty women where the lighting is too high up or they’re taking photos of them self in the mirror.

Still confused? How about some photo evidence to help you out?

Can We Continue?

If you’re still perplexed by the duckface pose please feel free to visit this website to better understand or perhaps just realize how utterly goofy, stupid, and dumb this classic picture pose is. We’ve all seen it and unfortunately we all continue to see it. I suppose if you’ve got horrible teeth or a piece of lettuce stuck in your chicklets I can let it pass but I will fill you in on a secret…any guy who says he likes it is secretly either lying, gay, or is retarded drunk and wants to hit a home run with you on his way to glory town.

I don’t want to get off topic though, this isn’t about the stupidity of this all because if it was I would end up ranting for two hours and you all would be telling me to shut up like you usually do (when you see me in person because you’re all scared to post a comment). Instead this post is about the stupidity of us and our anti-duckface motto aka “The Double Chin Duckface”.

Yes, thats right. The Double Chin Duckface.

What the hell is a Double Chin Duckface

I’m glad you asked. The double chin duckface is exactly what it’s name implies. It is a duckface pose (pushed out lips), a slight turn of the head, highlighted by the finish of one of the rolls (if you have any) of your chinny chin chin. Being such fine specimens the Hotstickybun crew are fortunate enough to really excel at this photo pose because of our massive double chins from years of beer drinking, eating pizza pie, and being flat out lazy.

Confused again? You should be but hopefully this picture to the left will help clarify the situation. Alas! If you dont have a double chin duckface there is no need to fret, you can pull skin or at least make an attempt by pushing your chin as far back and down into your neck as humanly possible to try and achieve the desired result. And please once you do, upload them to our Facebook group so hilarity may ensue.

If you dont upload those photos…well I have enough on file already of all of you already so I will humiliate you and get beat up in the process because of my endless mocking. If anyone ever participates in these so called contests I’m running I’ve always said Im willing to give away prizes. The best double chin duckface can spend a romantic week with me in Edmonton during the 2011 World Jr. Hockey Championships. I’m so confident that no one will post anything I’m willing to say that. Not only that but I’m so confident someone wouldn’t want to spend a week with me in Edmonton they wont post anything anyway.

So Thats It

It had to be said, people are always wondering what the hell we are doing or what the hell we’re trying to accomplish by looking dead sexy with our double chins but this is proof and this explains exactly what and who we are…

#Idiots
A.K.A
#CertifiedBeautician

Like the Facebook Page, and get those pictures rolling!

Class is now in session. If you have never heard of Hockey Politics then this may be somewhat of an eye opener for some…then again it may be absolutely useless information to you as well. The truth remains this happens and not just in hockey but all of sport.

Enough talk already, let’s begin.

Hockey Politics 101: Lesson 01 – The Almighty Dollar Speaks

This point can be debated about for months because it doesn’t just happen in hockey but in all aspect of life. Money talks and ultimately it can talk a far less skilled kid onto a higher caliber club. True, you need money to play hockey and when it comes to the AAA level you need a large sum to cover fees, travel, and of course equipment. Let’s face it though, any kids expecting to play hockey at this level their parents already have the fees covered (or know what to expect). The fact remains though that deep pockets are a heavy influence on roster spots. I’ve seen kids who can hardly skate backwards on a AAA roster which isnt right, for one it’s keeping higher skilled kids at a lower level and ultimately it’s stunting the development of the player who cant keep pace with his teammates.

Hockey Politics 101: Lesson 02 – Family Is The Most Important

Family is important. It’s really important. But it’s not that important at the hockey arena. Another case of hockey politics 101 is the father/mother figure in a position of power with the local hockey club. Whether it be the President of the minor hockey association or the coach of one of those teams this happens almost in every organization. Said son/daughter has a guaranteed spot on the local roster because their parent is in a position of power. Again this isn’t the right decision. If the child deserves it, by all means…but if he doesn’t again he shouldn’t be put in a position where he is set to fail. To many times we’ve seen ice time given to one’s son/daughter because of obvious favoritism, not only does this cause huge tension on the said child to perform but it can even cause rifts in a dressing room or organization. Select organizations have put the policy in place where one cant coach if his or her son or daughter is on the bench.

Hockey Politics 101: Lesson 03 – It’s Not About Development Its About Winning

It seems over the past decade we as parents, fans, and coaches seem to have forgotten the principle rule about minor hockey. Truthfully the other two lessons fall into this category as often at times we spend more time worrying about ourselves and winning then the ultimate goal of developing a player into someone who attains that higher level. Now a days we spend to much time listening to outside influence that it’s more important to win 20 games then have 20 players graduate to the next level. Every coach is happy when they hear that a player they coaches reaches the next level but wouldn’t that same coach be happy he was capable of coaching half his players to a higher level then say the 1-3 stars he had on his team?

Hockey Politics 101: Lesson 04 – It’s Not About The Kids, Its About The Organization

I understand that hockey at times is business and business is hockey. But who are we kidding, hockey at lower levels isn’t business. Hockey at the lower levels (Jr.B and down) is all about fulfilling your dream on reaching the next level (whether it be the NHL, AHL, WHL, AJHL etc), playing with friends, or flat out for the love of the game. To many times we have the people in power looking out for their best interests instead of whats important…the players.

and finally…

Hockey Politics 101: Lesson 05 – History Is Exactly That…History

Maybe borderline on politics but I suppose this can fall into that category because of the people who pick the selected rep teams through the country. Often times we find some players develop faster at a younger age and have first crack at the Bantam AAA levels as opposed to other kids who mature later. For some reason once a player is tagged with the AAA status sometimes he is set to cruise through the Minor Hockey Association without having to worry about playing single A hockey. Players playing together over the course of a few season develop chemistry and while that can result in on ice success sometimes it doesn’t equate to individual success. Many kids develop at a slower rate and because they don’t hit that peak until say Midget often times find themselves lost in the fold amongst the many others who already have a year or two of rep hockey under their belt. Again I ask are these kids being given a fair chance?

Running My Mouth

I’m not saying the system is broken, I’m not saying it’s perfect either. The fact of the matter is a lot of decisions being made out there these days are the result of personal feelings or outside influence instead of what is right and letting a teenager or child play with the team he is supposed to or where he wants. I love the game of hockey but the politics involved in a lot of the decisions can ruin a player, a team, and ultimately the game.

To that all I can say is…

smarten up and do the right thing!

Welcome to the Power of…

I’ll be the first to admit that as a species we are f*cked! Like f*cked beyond belief, we shoot each other, we fight, we drink, we vow to stay faithful in marriage and cheat at the first opportunity it presents itself, we f*ck each other over endlessly, not to mention destroy ourselves and our planet daily. Dont get me wrong there are a lot of decent humans on this planet but let’s face it no one and nothing is perfect and as our society continues down the shitter we as its inhabitants continue to get worse.

Yet despite the insanity amongst us all I find three things unite/inspire/affect us more then anything; tragedy (think twin towers, war), National sport (the Olympics dummy), and perhaps the the most powerful of all…music.

Music.

Almost a ridiculous thing to think about.

Really.

Think about it. Think real hard. I bet in the last 24 or 48 hours you’ve had a song come on the radio, your ipod, or been stuck in your head that has you thinking about something or someone in your life. Something so simple as a lyric in a song can be stuck with you your entire life to the point where it reminds you where you were at that exact moment and who you were with.

Among other things of course.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHH3FoJUEbg

Thanks to being reminded of this fantastic movie I posted this clip to my facebook profile and have only watched it about 100 times through the day. Arguably this is one of the best scenes I’ve ever seen in a movie and possibly the reason for this blog. Sure it’s fiction. But if you havent seen this movie you should be ashamed of yourself.

In case you haven’t however the show follows a 15 year old boy writing an article for the band Stillwater.

Music is the main factor, as this band travels through the country. All of the members of the band we get to identify, but the one that highlights is guitarist Russell Hammond. All across the country touring there were good and bad live moments, just as good offstage moments and horrible fights; fights often mended with music, like singing “Tiny Dancer”.

Why this scene? Well for me it highlights exactly the point Im trying to prove in no matter how bad the circumstance music can do wonderful things to pick you up. Music is so powerful it can force you to do things you probably wont, it can bring back memories of perished friends, it can excite you to the point where you want to get rip roaring drunk, or even get your blood flowing in anticipation of that big game you’re about to play.

Everyone has a song and in most cases we have hundreds of songs that will remind us of moments we wont ever forget.

I know I’m not alone in some of the songs that I remember,

“Tiny Dancer”, “Dixieland Delight”, “Don’t Stop Believing”, “Private Eyes”, “Forever”, hell even “Limbo Rock”.

I could spend hours recounting some of the memories or multiple memories made from just some of those songs.

I’m not sure why but I think some people over estimate how powerful it can be. I’ve been shut off from society for weeks with no contact from people, TV, yet a few solid tunes and it makes those times flow a lot smoother.

Think I’m blowing smoke, if you do sit back and relax, put on your favorite radio station (satellite radio perferably) or playlist and tell me how long you go without thinking about something that brings back a memory and smirk to your face and come back and tell me differently…

Dont take music for granted, without it the world would be a pretty stale place!

The response was overwhelming, a whopping 6 voters (maybe it was 5) with all but 1 saying yes, they take there laptop into the washroom. I admit, I’m as guilty as anyone…not as much now with a Samsung Galaxy S2 phone in my hand but there has been the odd occasion when a song is still being played, I have to finish my facebook conversation, or I just came up with a great idea and the bathroom is my lair of creativity. Ok that last point sounds wrong, I’d hate to think about people getting creative in a washroom.

Well that’s just gross

Admittedly yes it is a little unsanitary but think about all the times you’ve gone to the washroom with a newspaper, book, magazine, or even phone in hand. A newspaper and magazine is probably the worst, think about a public bathroom in a fast food joint that offers up complimentary newspapers while you eat. Now implant this in your brain if you’re one of those people who read those papers/magazines while eating. All it takes is one person to take that same paper into the washroom to make you think twice about having your McDonalds cheeseburger because the Sunshine girl page has a pubic hair on it. Ok I’m going to throw up just thinking about that…and by that I of course mean the McDonalds cheeseburger.

Advantages

Some of you are going to disagree that there are no advantages to bringing your laptop into the toilet but I tend to disagree. First of all:

Content Is King
A newspaper/magazine is great sure, but if your the type of person that spends over 20 minutes in the bathroom for this type of thing you often find yourself skipping articles or skimming through the pages because there isnt anything that interests you. This just cant be, if you require that much time you probably want something to keep you entertained, a good article that you selected, a good song you want to listen to, or at the very least a good movie you want to watch. A laptop can achieve anyone of this realistic goals.

9″ Laptops/Ipads Were Created For This
Who buys a 9″ laptop with the intention to do serious work on it. No one. These were created for the sole purpose of laptop pooping (or E-pooping). Just as I mentioned above they do all the things a magazine, walkman (80′s), discman (90′s), ipod (now) do. Sound, video, ebooks, you name it they have it. I truly belive the IPAD was created by Steve Jobs while he was on the pot thinking of a better way to surf and email associates instead of trying to balance his Macbook on his knees.

It’s not as unsanitary as one thinks
Of course the first thing that comes to everyone’s mind is how unsanitary it is. Well folks like a page out of the TV Show Mythbusters it probably will surprise you.

Ten things more germ-laden than the average household toilet:

Phone receiver
Desktop
Computer keyboard/mouse
Doorknob
Escalator handrail
Elevator button
ATM buttons
Shopping cart handle
Kitchen sink
Subway turnstile

Then again…there is stilly’s toilet…which is all of those things combined.

Disadvantages

The more I think about it there is probably more disadvantages then advantages..

Webcam
The surprise skype/facetime call with the webcam enabled might not be to pleasant for anyone calling you. I would hope you wouldnt be answering the any calls while your in the middle of doing your business but if people are low enough to talk on the phone when on the pot it wouldn’t surprise me that someone would video chat.

Different Opinions
You dont want to be taking your laptop into the john with people around. I know my first impression on seeing someone doing that would have me thinking he/she would be going in to rub one out.

Flash Flood
If you put your laptop down when it’s time to wipe and wash your hands (god I hope you do this) you still run the risk of a plugged toilet followed by a potential flooding overflow. Your first reaction is to dodge the water because its “EWWWW GROSS, SHIT WATER”, your second reaction will be to grab your laptop…which hopefully wont be to late.

WIFI Coverage
From past experience and feedback the coverage of your in house wireless is dismal. I’m a tech guy and even I dont know why. Perhaps it’s the paint peeling from the smell.

Time Consumption
If you take 30 or more minutes in the bathroom you should be ashamed of yourself. That said I’m ashamed of myself from time to time.

Could Go On

Realistically one could go forth with many many disadvantages but let’s face it, if you do it now reading this isn’t going to change. In fact I hope someone who is reading this is currently on the pot! If you are let me know in the comment section below.

Needless to say theres a few things one can take away from this video.

1. Holy shit are we overweight.
2. Holy shit are we bad singers.
3. Holy shit are we bad at air guitar.
4. Holy shit are we bad at air piano.
5. And HOLY SHIT are we overweight (and drunk).

Make your own conclusions, just another night of being drunk idiots.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QYS-qSdbpM