Now, back to the glory that is the weekend. So little to do, so much time.  Isn’t that the truth about Grande Prairie. At least this weekend it will be easier to take my mind of the fact that I still live here. With UFC111 happening saturday night, as well as new episodes of both Departures and The Pacific airing, my time will be filled quite nicely. Take it easy Friday, probably go to the gym, then party time Saturday and recooperate on Sunday with copious amounts of TV and movies.

There hasn’t been a good UFC card in the last little while so I am looking forward to what this next one has to offer. With Georges St Pierre defending his title against Dan “The Outlaw” Hardy, and Frank Mir going toe to toe with Shane Carwin for the interim Heavywight belt, this one shouldn’t be a disappointment. Not like the battle for the seniors belt that took place last month. This will likely prove to be GSP’s toughest opponent thus far, as Hardy has explosive hands with devastating knockout power. Hardy is also undefeated in the UFC, so will be looking to continue that streak. But from what I have seen in the last few weeks leading up, as far as training goes, there is no way GSP is going to lose. The man is finely tuned athletic machine, and boasts the best take down and ground game in mma. My bet goes to Canada’s favorite mixed martial artist, St Pierre winning by submission. The next headline on the card will put two mammoths for men against each other, in what will likely turn into an all out brawl. I can’t see the Carwin Mir fight going the full five rounds, and I’m picking Carwin to take the temporary belt with a TKO in either the second or third round. There should be a few pretty good undercard fights as well, as there are a couple guys making their UFC debuts who will be looking to stick around. The fights are at 8 on Saturday and what is better than watching 2 guys legally beat the crap out of each other?

Another thing that has put me in a good mood as of late is the recent sliding of the gayest hockey team in Alberta. Thats right, the Flames. With the Oilers all but locking up the first overall pick weeks ago, I conceded the shitty season in place of a #1 overall pick. (It’s gonna be Seguin, just watch) Now Flames fans on the other hand, will have to watch their team do what we Oil fans have done for oh so long. The Flames will win a couple more games, but probably end up finishing ninth behind the Red Wings, just missing the playoffs. What a sweet end to the season that will be. And to make matters even more hilarious, is that the Flames did it to themselves. They did it by trading players to become the Western Conference Leafs, and picking up the sixth d-man from the worst team in the league. Hats off to the Flames for making this year so much better for me. As long as Calgary continues their woes on the road, I feel confident I won’t be eating my words come playoff time, and the Flames will be on the outside looking in, with a mid round first pick.

Well, the NHL playoffs are on the verge, spring training is almost wrapped up to give way to the regular season in baseball, and I’m going to Phoenix. Thats right. Phoeeeeeeeeeeeeeenix. Golf, hockey and baseball, the holy trinity. I’m sure that after the trip is all wrapped up, there will be stories, pictures and videos to share with you all of our trip in the desert. Lets hope I don’t lose too many balls in the sand. Just make sure while we’re gone you don’t stick your bonjourno into any arribadercis that we wouldn’t. Neely the Seas Bass out.

I did it!!

 Now I’m not sure how many of the things I want to do before I die that I will actually do, but hopefully it will be most of them. I mean, I’m no famous golfer like my good friend Luke who is already a celebrity and living large, but I’d like to think that anything is possible. I may not ever get to raise the Stanley Cup over my head after battling a tough 7-game final, but whos to say that I’ll never get to kiss it? And I may not ever be a celebrity, but why couldn’t I ever get the chance to throw the first pitch at a MLB game? I think I’ll meet Wayne Gretzky one day and be able to chat with him 1 on 1 about hockey.And you never know, I just might meet Megan Fox one day and marry her. This past fall I was able to achieve a personal goal I set with myself, though not a lifetime one. It was manufactured a few years ago when I fell in love with the Red Sox. I wanted to go to the most historic ball park in the continent and watch my favorite baseball team play. As you can tell in the above picture, I did it.

It started as a kind of joke with a buddy, “Hey wanna come to Boston with me?” And it ended as what will be one of the best weeks of my life. We booked hotels and flights, and I soon realized this was actually going to happen. The trip kept on getting closer and closer, and it was like waiting for Christmas as a kid all over again. Finally the time came, and we flew out of Edmonton, destination Boston. A five hour flight later, a wide-eyed cab ride to the hotel, and before I knew it I was sitting on Harvard campus enjoying cold brew. Or as Bostonites would call it, “Hahvahd”. Love that accent.

The next day was a rainy one, but unreal none-the-less. We made the hour long trip out to Foxboro for the Week 3 game between the New England Patriots, and the Atlanta Falcons. Gillette Stadium. Wow. What more can I say? The biggest arena/stadium I’ve ever seen with my own eyes for sure. And a way different atmosphere than a FL game. Not dissing, but come on. It’s not even close. Ever hear 70,000 people cheer loud, non-stop the entire game? No? Then you’ve never been to an NFL game. It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever experienced, other than sex for the first time, but we won’t go there. I could tell already, this was going to be the SECOND coolest thing I’m going to see this trip. Because the next three night involved a Red Sox game, another Red Sox game, and you guessed it. A third Red Sox game.

Hey Tom, where's Giselle?

The next day started with a walk-about tour of the entire campus of Harvard University, or at least what we thought was all of it. That place is like its own little city inside of Boston. With the Harvard owning all the surrounding apartments/houses/condos along with MIT, the entire river front seems like one gigantic school. After buying some swag we headed back to the hotel to get ready for Red Sox game #1. When the cab dropped us off about a block away from Fenway, it seemed like I was just in any other large city, with a bunch of people walking down the street in Red Sox gear. Then I saw it, and it was amazing. Up the next street were the lights of Fenway. I walked toward it like a moth to a porch light, unaware of the honking car horns and busy street corners. I was being called home. We got closer and there i was, just like I had imagined it from TV. First there was Lansdowne street, right behind the Green Monster. Then, Yawkey Way. With all the championship banners hanging outside, and the multitude of stores, bars, and hot chicks, I thought to myself “This is all I need, I never need to leave”. It was truly amazing. We got our tickets scanned and went to find our seats. On our way we walked by an exit out into the seat and saw that the pre game warmup equipment was still on the field. We wandered out and saw the tail end of the Red Sox batting practice. We walked up right behind the visitors dug out and watched David “Big Papi” Ortiz smash a half-a-dozen homers out into right-centre field. I was in Heaven. Next we walked by Pesky’s Pole out in right field. No picture today though, didn’t bring a marker to sign it. That would have to wait. And then it was time to go sit in the most well known seat in baseball. We ventured out to high right field field and sat in the chair where, supposedly, Ted Williams hit the longest recorded homer at Fenway, 502 feet from home plate. Then we got to our seats and there we watched the Blue Jays spank the Sox in just 6 and 1/2 innings 11-3. The game was called on account of rain, and boy was it pouring! We ended the night at a local pub with a few fellow Canadians who made the trip from Toronto to watch the Jays. How we got back to the hotel si a mystery to Carter and I until this very day. The only proof we have are these two pictures from the cab.

Drunk?

Yep!

The seat beyond Williamsburg, 502ft from Home Plate!

The next two days involved a lot more sight seeing, alot more drinking, and a lot more baseball. We checked out Boston University, walked around MIT for a bit, and took the famous Duck boat tour around the river. The weather was beautiful, and the people were nice. We even went to the place where everybody knows your name! We went to the zoo, museum, and checked out a few malls. We were also so privileged to witness Doc Halladay pitch a complete game shutout, which was unbelievable to be at live. Two days of touring around Boston, and two more Red Sox games, we thought “How could this trip get any better?” Well it turned out that the Boston Bruins were playing their home opener that Thursday night against the Washinton Capitals. What luck eh? So ya, after an NFL game and 3 MLB games, we went to an NHL game. Ovechkin got a couple ginos, the game was hard-fought and fast, and we consumed many more beers. And to boot, we learned that the 2 guys sitting beside us held those two season seats for a mere $1000 each. WTF? I was going to have a hard time coming home. I’m pretty sure I told carter on more than one occasion that he would be taking the return trip home, alone.

TD Garden. Canada Represent!

With only one day left in Beantown, and nothing planned, we tried deciding on something to do. We were watching TV, and saw highlights of the Red Sox game that happened while we were at the Bruins game. It turned out that the Braves were in town for the last series of the regular season. So what did we do? Well I’m glad you asked. That’s right, game number 4 bitches. We went to our sixth straight major sporting event in a row. Now, being a guy and a sports fan, most likely, can you ask for a better trip? I’ll tell you one thing, this one is going to be hard to beat. So we spent our last day relaxing at the hotel and made our way down to Fenway, one last time. Turns out it was fan appreciation night. To make a long story short, and to spare you with many exclamation points and capital letters of excitement, I walked onto the field (dirt warning track right in front of the red sox dugout), shook hands with Jason Varitek and Dustin Pedroia, and got my picture with Kevin “Yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu” Youkilis. It was like the icing on the cake. I met players, walked on the field, signed Peskys Pole, and watched my boy, Jonathan Papelbon come in for the save. What a game, what a ballpark, what a city, what a trip.

Yoooooooooouuuuuuuuu

The Dropkick Murphys put it best in “I’m Shippin Up to Boston”. Although I am neither a sailor, or will I be trying to retrieve my wooden leg that I lost climbing up the top sail. But mark my words; I’ll be back. This article may have sounded like a lot of bragging, and you know what? It was! I still can’t believe what I did back in September-October of 2009. I will remember it for the rest of my life. And I suggest to you, that if you ever get the chance, go to Boston. It will amaze you. If you want to see any more pictures of Beantown, leave a comment. Address it Attn: Darren Walker. He has had the picture for months, yet theyre still not up. Maybe they’ll look better on the new and improved Bun. That’s gotta be why they’re not up yet. Right? Well here’s one that’s different than all the rest i posted. This one was taken specifically for the Bun. Enjoy.

Northeastern USA has now been tainted

Alex Bilodeau will remember this one for a life time

As the rest of the games went on, it seemed all too familiar. The odd bronze, a silver here and there, and a lot of fourth/fifth finishes. Then something started happening. Canada was winning golds. We kept hearing about the COC stating that we will not meet our projected medal count, but nothing was being said about all the first place golden finishes we were having. It didn’t seem like much, but we were in fact keeping up with the US, Germany, and Norway in Gold count. It wasn’t until the last couple of days when we all started to realize, hey, we can make this OUR Olympics. With golds rolling in everywhere from pair ice dancing, skeleton, bobsleigh, curling, ski cross and speed skating, it seemed we were on the right track to head to the record books. And don’t worry girls I won’t forget to mention the Womens hockey team owning the States to win us yet another gold. In the 17th and final day of the Olympics, with 13 gold medals (a tie for the most won by a country in a single winter olympics) we had one last shot to be the sole holder of that record with another gold. Mens Hockey.

Canadian women (Kaillie Humphries and Heather Moyse) capture gold in the 2 man bobsled

Ashleigh McIvor captures the first ever Gold in Women's Ski Cross

Canadian skip Kevin Martin shows off his golden hardware

The Canadian women's hockey team knows how to celebrate Gold!

I couldn’t have written a better finish myself. In what some were calling the greatest hockey tournament of all time, Canada would face America in the final. With the USA being undefeated and the top team in the preliminary round, and Canada having a questionable first couple games, however only losing to the States all tournament, it was a match made in Heaven to battle it out for Gold. Canada vs USA. We all knew we were in for a treat, but none could have predicted what was about to happen on that Sunday afternoon in Vancouver at Canada Place. With Canada up 2-1, and the clock ticking down to under 30 seconds left in the 3rd, the unthinkable happened. An entire country let out a collective gasp as Zach Parise and the Americans tied the game. With celebration of victory in our grasp, it was gone in an instant. But what would come of this is a moment that no Canadian will ever forget. What seemed like a broken play by the referee in overtime, Crosby poked the puck back into the corner to Jarome Iginla. No less than a micro second later you could hear Crosby yell at the top of his lungs, “IGGY” as he headed for the net. In one quick sweep Iggy fed Sid the puck and in an instant it was in the back of the net. The entire country erupted. Sidney Crosby with the golden goal, probably the biggest goal he will ever score. The biggest anone has had since Lemieux in ‘87, and even Henderson’s in ‘72. What a perfect way to end it. We are back on top of the world in hockey, right where we should be. Here is an image that is burned into my memory, as the replay keeps playing over, and over in my head. What a goal.

The goal that brought a country to it's feet

Now as I watch the all the replays and recaps of these Olympics, I, like Pat Quinn, can’t help but shed a tear. We should all be so proud of our athletes, and we should all be so proud to be Canadian. We are a great nation, and there is none other out there like us. I mean, who else would poke fun at themselve like we did in the Closing ceremonies? Not Russia, that’s for sure. All in all, these games were great. I wish I could of been there in person to experience it all like a few friends of mine that got the chance. But I think I was there, in that arena especially. Along with 36 million other people, as we scored that goal, and made Olympic history. Man, I Love being Canadian!

I’m sure all of you reading this have been watching at least some TV in the last week, so you should all know how Canada has been faring in the Olympics overall. We’re winning the odd medal, some gold, some not, with hopefully many more to come. But as far as I’m concerend, once that first gold was achieved, I could care less how many more medals we win. As long as we win it all in Men’s Hockey. It’s gold or bust for this years squad, boasting talent of the likes of Crosby, Nash, Thornton and many more of the NHL’s top superstars. Anything else is just not acceptable in the eyes of this nation, as well as the team itself I’m sure. With a disappointing showing  in 2006, finishing 7th, our boys have a tough road ahead of them in order to prove to the world who’s game they’re all playing. With Ovechkin leading the Russian’s powerful offence, the defending champs from ‘06 Sweden looking as strong as ever, Jagr leading the Czech’s, and the dark horse that is Slovakia, it will be no easy task for Canada to walk away on top. They wil have to play their hearts out and put everything on the line for their country; and I’m certain they will.

As predicted before the tournament started, it will come down to Sunday’s game against the USA to decide who will win Pool A, and advance directly to the Quarter-Finals. It may be Canada’s deciding game, because if they lose, they risk the chance of getting a team like Russia, Sweden or the Czech’s in the Quarters, and that would not be good. Not saying I’m scared they are gonna lose, but a weaker team in the first round of elimination is always favoured. After last nights Preliminary game against the Swiss, a few changes must be made by Canada in order to defeat our southern neighbours. Let’s start with probably the most important part of any hockey team; goaltending. Babcock can’t go wrong with either Brodeur or Luongo in net to face the States, but which netminder is the right decision? Luongo played a solid 60 minutes against a weak Norway team, however making a few key saves on scoring chances. Brodeur got the start against the Swiss, as the coaching staff knew it would be the tougher contest of the first two games, and Brodeur’s Olympic experience was the better choice. A few big saves, a lucky goal, and a solid win for Marty. Now, with a game against the Americans, a much bigger threat, who does Mike Babcock choose to backstop our way directly to the QF? It will be no easy task deciding who it will be, but I’m gonna go with the greasy porn star himself, Bobby Louuuuuuuuuu. He has been stellar this season so far, and I think he will give the Canadians a chance to win. And if it happens where he plays sub-par, then the reigns go back to Marty to carry us to gold.

Now lets’s take a step up on the ice to the defence of team Canada. With no real test thus far from any big offensive threats from the Swiss and Norway, they will be in for a tougher game against the forwards from the US. The Americans are coming into these games an underdog, but a very powerful underdog who would love nothing more than beating Canada on our home rink. They should not be taken lightly, and I think our defence will show that come game-time on Sunday. Look for our defence to become far more physical, playing a very tough in-your-face game against America. The powerplay will also need to start rolling, and it starts with the blue line. Keith, Pronger, and Neidermayer need to get their offensive game going, like we all know they can. As far as the forwards go, not many complaints here. The Canadian forwards are doing all that is asked of them, except capitalizing more. Now, Hiller did stand on his head in the Swiss game, but in order to win  you have to find a way to score. Bodies in front of the net and shots from the point will be key in beating Miller, who will start for the United States. And if I could say one thing to Babcock right now, it would be “Play Crosby more”!!! This kid is unbelievable, and so clutch when the game is on the line. Canada is bolstered by many offensively talented players, but in my mind, Sidney Crosby is this teams make or break player. He wears his heart on his sleeve and leaves nothing out there on the ice. If he is on his game, Canada is in good shape.

After writing this article, I will be on my way to Jasper to start my training for the 2014 Olympics in Russia. Look for me in the boarder cross come the next winter games. I mean, a guy can learn to snowboard that good in four years right? Well it’s worth a shot I guess. Zims out, enjoy the rest of the Olympics!!

First order of business: “General” Larry Platt’s hilarious American Idol audition performing his own “Pants on the Ground” is a rip off!!! I thought this was going to be a song for the ages, you would hear it as ringtones, on commercials, and maybe even in an elevator someday. Maybe we still will. But earlier today it was proven that Platt’s song sounds very, very similar to the Green Brothers song back in the nineties, titled “Back Pockets on the Floor”. Now the older aged rap group does not want anything from Platt, they just want their version heard too. But as far as I’m concerned the song has lost its, for lack of a better term, uniqueness. Nothing new under the sun, I believe the saying goes, but that doesn’t change the fact that Platt is a hoax and he should be ashamed of his actions. I know I am.

Pants on the Ground

Back Pockets on the Floor

Sound Similar?

Another tell tale sign your country is heading straight into the pooper is when preofessional athletes aren’t acting so professional. I’m talking about the two wannabe gangsters who play for the Washington Wizards in the NBA, Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton. These two clowns thought it would be a good idea for them to resolve a dispute they were having by seeing who had the biggest gun. And no they didn’t flash each other in the shower Big Show, get your mind out of the homo gutter. Maybe that would have been a better choice seeing how neither will get another paycheck this season. Today the NBA suspended both players for the remainder of the season, without pay, for bringing guns into the locker room earlier this year. Now I know that every rapper thinks he is a “gangstar”, but there are few who actually are/were. But basketball players?!?! I can understand maybe football players, I mean some of those guys are pretty scary and/or tough lookin. But basketball? These guys are some of the biggest pansies I’ve ever seen in sports. Getting pushed off the court in a wheel chair, then coming back moments later ready to play. Doesn’t sound very “street” does it? These two guys deserve Darwin awards this year, because clearly they’ve earned ‘em. Leave your toys at home next time fellas.

Now we all now that night is the darkest before dawn, and America will climb out of this hole they are in, so all is not doom and gloom. The economy will pick up and eventually we’ll be right where we left off. I’m not sure how it’ll happen or when. All I do know is that Charlie Sheen will continue to abuse his spouses regardless of where the economy is at. Heidi Montag will keep getting plastic surgerys, no matter how many people are out of jobs. And ultimately in the end, more people will care about who wins the next season of american idol, or who is the next one voted off survivor, instead of their own real, yet boring life. Thank you, God Bless you, and God Bless the Hot Sticky Bun.

Well I guess I might as well start this article off on a sour note and talk about the hockey team from the City of Champions. That’s right, the Oilers. As I’m writing this, I find out that Khabibulin will miss another 12 weeks, as he goes for surgery to repair a herniated disc in his back this week. Awesome. Really. There is always a silver lining to every cloud. This now puts the Oilers in serious contention to obtain the #1pick in the draft this year and acquire a great young player, Taylor Hall. For those of you that watched the World Juniors and saw Hall showcase his skills, you know what I’m talking about. “All you Oiler fans out there, get excited! Taylor Hall is a monster and a stud!” That would be my best Pierre Maguire impression. But all kidding aside, with Eberle proving again what a clutch performer he is, and Hall with his skills and size, this could be the start of something good for the Oilers. After they cut the fat, meaning getting rid of guys like Moreau, Souray, Gagner, Horcoff (who am I kidding we’re stuck with him), Staios and a few others, its looking like the Oilers will be moving forward for once in a long time. As far as I’m concerned, the faster we get rid of Kevin Lowe’s team, and get Tambellini doing his thing with Quinn behind the bench, the faster we can watch the Oilers at least make the playoffs again, and who knows maybe a good run in the second season? So as the Oilers keep losing, (12 of their last 13) I just keep smiling, thinking of that #1 pick.

He already looks good in blue

Now I know everyone is still a little shocked that Canada lost to the USA in the final at the WJHC, but let’s face it, the better team won. The Americans were faster, hit harder, and just flat out hungrier for that gold medal. The American coach put it best when asked about the win after the game. A reporter posed the question,”With more skilled American junior teams in the past losing out in the early rounds of the tournament, what set this team in 2010 aside?” He replied “Simple, we played Canadian hockey”. And that pretty much summed up why our boys failed to win that elusive record setting sixth straight gold. I think this is good for us Canadians in a way. With the Winter Olympics starting in February, we look to our guys to make up for that embarrassing display of hockey in Torino, and bring home the gold. But mark my words, it will not be a cake walk. We may be the heavy favorites, but I’ll bet not one guy on that roster, or in Hockey Canada for that matter, is going into the Olympics with that mind set. Games against teams like the States, Russia, Finland and Sweden aren’t guranteed wins. I mean look what happened in 06. Lose to the Swiss 2-0 in the round robin and eventually losing to the ruskies by that same scor in the quarterfinals. That being said, I am more than confident in saying that Stevey-Y and his squad, picked the right squad to bring home the cheddar. I guess we’ll find out in February whether we’ll be golden, or not. Have fun sitting second row against the Swiss, Stingyyyyyyyyyyy.

Goin for Gold with a new look

You know what, I’m gonna keep this one short and sweet and finish this one by telling you all what I’ve learned so far this year. I’ve learned that no matter how big of a celebrity you are, and how much money and fame you have, you will die alone, probably overdosing on some sort of combination of perscription/illegal drugs. And if not, you will get caught cheating on your spouse and owe millions in lawsuits. I realized that when Jordan Eberle tied the game to send it to overtime, the entire country felt like they were right there on the ice with him. I learned that at least once a week, one of my 2 female room mates fail to realize that they have dropped a pair of underwear on their way upstairs with the laundry.  I learned that there is a whole new class of douche bag that Grande Prairie’s own don’t even hold a candle to. They are tanned, gelled haired, ripped, and live on the east coast of the United States of America, somewhere around New Jersey. I learned that if you drink enough beer and eat enough pizza to supply a small army every weekend, you will morph into a Sea Creature. And finally, I learned to practice safe sex, because sea creatures can have an oops too, right Seal?

Father and baby seal

This article brought to you by the letter A and the number 67,908. For Arribaderci!!! And the combined weight for all of those in the Aquarium.