For most of us I think this past week was a blur, I mean truthfully we drink enough in Grande Prairie and we’re often limited to money and the 3am club shut down which prevents us (or should I say saves us) from punishing our health and doing what we did this past week in beautiful sunny Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

I won’t go into to much detail with this write up as I’m living on 3 hours of sleep after a 28 hour day, flight, and drive back to this hole in Grande Prairie. Truthfully there is just to much to tell in great detail (photo and video) in one post so I’ll stretch it out into a 7 day recap if I can remember.

The Statistics

Days Spent in Mexico: 8
Chuckwagon Races Taken in: 23
Times Kelly Sutherland finished first: 22
Calories gained: 2938592848
Drinks drank in the Riu Pool: 82734
Drinks urinated in the Riu Pool: 82733 (Jordan is the lone solider to actually not pee in the pool once)
How many times we seen Freddy James Weenis – 1. 1 time to many.
Frog Splashes: 2, both from the Big Show
Toilet Bowls of puke filled: At least 35, 20 of which belonged to Seal
Jellyfish sightings: 38

The Nicknames

The Big Show, The Fat Show, Fats Domino, LInc Domino, The Tomato, Chi Chi Grande, Seal, C*nt, Stilly, Stilborn, Lips, 12, Walks, Goff, David Hasslegoff, Angel Tits, Fluffer, Poopy Pants, Freddy James, Karl James, Fred Jr, Story Time, Colonel Sandles, Ricky Henderson, Ben Johnson, Mexican Carrie, Mexican Stilly, Wing Street, Weapon, Beauty, Zimmy, Zimms, Shelly, Shelly Long Cock Longson, Mexican John Cena, Cock Block, winning, Senior Por Favor, 16 and pregnant….I’m sure Im missing more, feel free to contribute below.

Crimes Committed

None that I’m aware of, one Mexican did go to jail and I’m not sure if ordering a Mexican mail order bride is considered a crime.

Diseases Contracted

Far to early in this stage to tell but there are some heavy sunburns and the Big Show has puss coming out of both eyes. Im going to go out on a limb and say that was from opening his eyes under water in the urine infested swimming pool.

Passout of the week

I didn’t think this one would be topped when I heard Shelly spent the night sleeping in the shower but the final night Seal had the privilege of sitting in a chair and riding the elevator for the better part of the evening.

and finally

Other things of note

- We ruined a few peoples vacations
- We peed in the pool….a lot.
- Someone wet the bed
- I will never eat a ceasar salad again
- What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico, unless it’s gonorrhea.

I’m sure there’s more but I’m wired off no sleep and counter acting that with 2 Red bulls and 1 5 hour energy. Ill upload some videos shortly if they let me on YouTube.