It is spring and love is in the air. The re-greening of our landscape is a small metaphor for new beginnings, which will ultimately lead to a new boyfriend or girlfriend for many. As these new relationships begin to spawn like a small seedling on a tree’s branch, I can’t help to think what got us here. For one, hot weather = no clothes, allowing boobjournos and camel-toes to come out in full force…you know what, f*!@ it. I’m gonna to stop bullshitting you. The real reason shortys are horny this time of year is in direct correlation with the mastery of the Italian language that has been bestowed amongst the members of HSB. Along with Spanish, French and Luke’s 7 second stutter, Italian has long been known as the language of love. I, obviously possessing 2/4 of the romantic tongues, found it no surprise that I fell in love today. Bonjourno 5’10″ brown hair, blue eyed beautiful young woman who sits alone in INBU 3301-003 every Tuesday/Thursday. If you are out there, on facebook or hopefully reading this direct from HSB, I would like to introduce myself. I’m the guy who rocks Tiger Woods hats with sick flow and smells of chocolate and rich mahogany each morning. I have a 4 inch tower of power and you leave me with a bonerjourno every class. My name is Luke and I love you.

Well, seeing as my new love and I will live in the above villa one day, I guess my search for a place to live in September is a waste of time. Even though you might say falling in love is a good day alone, I’m a topper and can one up that shit real easy. Excelling at two sports, I have to balance my work and play schedule quite vigorously throughout the year. Spring offers an interesting challenge although, as my two passions collide, golf and skiing. But, for what could possibly be the final time, I have chosen the slopes for this weekend. Boy am I ever glad I did.

Returning home from the ski shop, my roommate (he’s Asian and his last name appears in the phone book 17 times…classic) and I bullshit while unloading our gear as per usual. One thing leads to another and we begin discussing the rough shape his Lexus is in…BOOM! I turn to face the impecable noise just in time to witness a Mazda 3 smashing into 3 parked cars 30 feet from where I stood. Cool. Being invincible and really tough, I was able to block/avoid glass shards and debris which became  scattered across half a city block. I had finally realized my childhood dream of witnessing an accident first hand, and it was exhilarating.

How I drive

A young broadjourno, who ended up having a fantastic analderci, had pulled out of her parking lot blind and hit the Mazda, which then caromed into parked cars. Upon further inspection, I walk over and see the driver of the Mazda running carrying bottles of Heineken and R&R trying to throw them over the fence of the near by apartment. After he succeeded this glorious feat in timberlands and a XXXL hoodie (he is white as a knight ps), this young Khabibulin wanna be ran over to the shorty who hit him, who was now in shock and crying on the sidewalk. He begins to yell at the top of his lungs in the middle of our neighborhood, “You f%*#ing dumb c*!^ bitch whore, you just wrote off my ride. F*!@ you, you piece of shit. F!*@. F$&*!” Keep in mind, this girl was a solid 7 and in an extremely vulnerable position. So being the stand up person I am, I told 40 cent to chill and went to console the young lass. I allowed her the use of my mobile device and even provided her my coat. Needless to say, I planted a seed.

To make a long story short, the police showed up, Luke gave a statement, Vanilla Ice blew well over the legal limit and was arrested. Now, rarely do I get serious on the Bun, but this is an exception. I think this was an act of a greater power. Although it is something we have all done (unfortunately), driving after drinking is absolutely retarded. Close family friends have lost sons, daughters and mothers due to this senseless act. It is something no one should be proud of, and this incident really opened my eyes.The only thing f*!@ed up was a bunch of cheap domestic metal and tempered glass. I can’t help but think broadjourno was meant to pull out infront of the Mazda, possibly preventing these two from hitting a family of 5 in a minivan on the Deerfoot at 11 pm at 110 km/h. Think about it for a second. This young woman, 100% at fault in this accident, just happened to pull out infront of a car carrying two punk kids full of whiskey and weed at 6:30 in the evening. That my friends…is Karmaderci.