All My Life…
“All my life I’ve been searching for something, something never comes, never leads to nothing. Nothing satisfies, but I’m getting close, closer to the prize at the end of the rope” – Dave Grohl
Being a smart, good looking philosophical man, I have discovered turning to music in a time of need has become a necessity for me to overcome life’s numerous obstacles. And this is no exception. Honestly, I don’t usually spill my guts right off the bat, but I have had some trouble with what to write on HSB the past 6 weeks or so. This is probably quite obvious with the long periods between posts and somewhat mediocre material. Thankfully, just like the broadjourno I bonjournoed in the brown this weekend in Edmonton, good things come out of the Clear Blue Sky (that is the one and only time Lucas will ever refer to country music). Just like in the City of Champions, something that was once narrow and seemingly impossible is easily fixed with some coercion and olive oil. I’m back baby! And better than ever. Speaking of being sweet, pounding shortys, and making comebacks, I believe my black twin announced his comeback today. Obviously, we were both met with the same media attention, the only distinct difference is he f*#$ed up by getting married. Now while he’s making millions and smashing records, I’ll still be smashing other things.
The Foo Fighters are f@!%ing awesome. With that said, the above lyrics really made me think. Over the past few years we have all searched for something we once saw as unobtainable. I don’t know about you guys, but I have done some pretty cool shit in my short career of life that I never thought possible. Largely thanks to how unreal I am on the links, a lot of doors and legs have opened. But, although the successes have been many, there is still a lot of things I yearn for, as do you I’m sure. The kick ass part of my life besides everything, is my 4 followers and I have an outlet for our dreams: HSB!
All my life…I have wanted to cruise around Edmonton with the CEO of Callaway Canada in a limo drinking brews and jammin out to Foo Fighters at full tilt with the windows down. Check.
All my life…I have dreamed of being famous and nailing hotter shortys than I already do. Not much different from HSB’s new favorite Red Wing, Darren Helm. Interestingly enough, Darren and I are connected much deeper than he knows, or cares for that matter. I mean he does have a Cup ring, 7 figure salary and smokeshow girlfriend…scratch that…ex-girlfriend. That’s where Luke comes in. At the beginning of my HSB career, I mentioned how hot the shortys were at Mount Royal. This only proves my point. Pictured above alongside her Red Wing is Devon Englot, a native of The Hat and current student at MRU. How do I know this you ask? Well first, I’m a rapist, what do you expect? But second, she is the little piece of heaven I get to sit beside every Tues/Thurs from 2-3:20 in ECON 2244. God bless that school. I mean she was drawn to me and asked for the adjacent seat, but that is irrelevant. Needless to say, that takes care of the nailin hotter girls part. I mean come on, I make 4 figures and rock sweet flow. As for the famous part, that was taken care of today…and I’m bringin all of you f!@*s with me.
Lucky for us, Devon is a sweet chick. I asked her if she would like to be the HSB babe of the week. The answer…”f*!^ ya!” So after a name drop or two and giving her the executive tour of the Bun, I convinced her to text her ex and tell him to check out the site. Here at HSB we like to sprain news, not break it…none the less you are officially the first to hear that our dreams have been answered. Darren replied. “HAHA thats funny. Bunch of f*!@ing idiots.” I have never been so proud. There you have it. HSB is spreading viciously around the Detroit Red Wings as we speak. Hopefully my CEO Walks will keep me in mind when he’s ballin Armani suits and rollin Lambos.
Til Later Bitches
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…that is funny shit…well done Luke. Well done Devon…well done Darren Helm, and thanks for getting rid of that little piece of sunshine shown above…and if the Wings do end up reading this..id like to say beat the fuck out of them Sharks in round one…
That’s some of the funniest shit i have ever heard. I hope he starts to follow your blog, and may even leave a comment from time to time
Keep your panties on Crowe. Until I see reasonable evidence this post is flagged.
Reasonable evidence includes:
Boobjournos
Bed sheets with the stain of Olive Oil with a hint of remains of Neapolitan Ice Cream (think about the colors…yeah, mmmmmm!)
A Stanley Cup Ring
A lock of Dave Grohls hair
A picture of some female wearing a hotstickybun t-shirt
Case of beer
I know that doesn’t make sense but does anything I say make sense?
Arrividerci
Walks. I actually see it as an honor to be the first flagged post in hsb history. As for your requirements.
1. Bed sheets- no strawberry ice cream but room 1011 Sutton Place Hotel downtown Edmonton. I don’t know if you will find olive oil but it sure as hell wasn’t what I should have been.
2. I’m going to get 4 shirts made this weekend just for that comment, but your getting receipt.
3.Dave grohl is my uncles half sisters step sons dogsitter. So that won’t be a problem
4. Case of beer is easy, but again you get the receipt.
5. As for the cup ring. That is the only unreasonable request. Grow up.
6. Boobjournos will be incorporated with the tshirt photo
Never question me again
While reading this fluff I have decided I may get a couple hotstickybun.com trucker hats made up. I think we could send one to Cousin Matt Walker and get him to wear it for a few press interviews. Get the world out there world wide. Maybe even Helm would strap one on in support of what is now the NHL’s most famous website…Next time you’re at Oil City I suggest throwing one out to Sammy Gags, or Storts…it can only grow now that the word is out. Next thing you know the NHLPA’s website will have a link directly to the Beer Olympics footage…sorry Crowe…you don’t make the cut again…hahaha
Great post Luke. Luke has gone from a perfect little school boy to banging bums love it!!!. Some Good idea’s BIg show.. we Should start up a company selling the Hsb stuff. And you really need to get matt a hat that would deadly.. I still think we need to put a hot tub in papas garage also and have a 24 hour live feed of the tub…. soaky soak??
Ha lips. All of it is cuz I’m the captain of a golf team. Chicks dig that. And what is this I hear of a big brother hot tub edition in old man walks garage?! Ill be amkin weekend trips to gp if that’s the case. The only thing that would top that is a lot in hythe with nothing in it other than a hot tub. Soaky soak soak? As for apparel…I’m willing to invest about 50$ for prototype t’s that will hopefully be ready in a week, which will be modeled pictured by yours truly. I have a 5 people ready for the photo shoot(4 hot shortys and one jacked dude…for big show of course), and hopefully devon will agree as well.
One of my buds and his gf won the Lethbridge Beer Pong tourny last weekend and for their victory they won an all expenses paid trip to Vegas to represent the city in the World Beer Pong championships. I could do some talking and get them set up with some apparel and maybe get some pictures for the site and a one time blog of the experience??? Ill see what I can do…
Get on this shit walks, i expect a t-shirt and trucker hat by the start of April
Jesus you guys are pushy! Im at work….
Working on a logo as we speak
Just setting you on the path to success Walks…gonna make you famous…and all I ask in return??? A Eurotrip with the boys at your expense.
Shit Yeah Lukas!
Hey Luke,
I just remembered…Ive seen this broad you plugged and Im pretty sure her ass looks nothing like that fine piece of meat up above…haha…
Path to success, Imma need a lot of clothes to sell for that to happen.
show me the money!
No, I’ll show you second place at the Fat Olympics
I thought it was beer Olympics? Now your just being a C bomb haha!
I like the thought of a second fat olympic. But this time with more “athletes”…….
Lips could compete but I’m quite confident he would lose which is why he wants it to be a fat Olympics