Back⬅)))) To The Future

As Marty McFly famously noted, “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything!” Maybe he wasn’t the first to say that, but nonetheless, Luke is finally back committed to his 11 anger management techniques. This will ultimately prevent a relapse of anger as shown in my last article, which was far from par. A side effect of my new found positivity is attention to detail, such as how close I came to replicating the movie logo in my title. I invite you to come with me on my journey back to normality. I invite you into my life. I invite you back to the future.

As I said, I’m now all about konfidence. Some may even say its my middle name…I’ll leave that one to you. Shi**y occurrences dominate our society. I challenge you to open one media outlet and easily find an encouraging headline. As my colleague (and bfff) noted in The State Of Our Union, the world is a brutal place. So I’ve taken it upon myself to shove rays of sunshine up everyone’s ass today and share with you some past, present and future tales that should put a fat grin on your face.

✔ First of all, I would like to announce a solution to a newfound problem faced by members of the aquarium. It may take some commitment, but I am confident my friends will come through. I have found a place for thy aquarium to reside. When I say thy, I mean all 11 members. It needs a little reno work, but I’m sure if we all pitch in a team effort we can transform it into something worthy of sea beasts and crustaceans. Two words will lure other underwater inhabitants to our new home like the mating calls of dolphins, elk, and the Big Show: Jacuzzi Tub. Can anyone say soak?

The New Aquarium

✔ Second, hats off to the Saints – Vikings game this past sunday. Scratch that, no one wants to see Drew Brees without a lid on his melon. But whether you enjoy the gridiron or not, you cannot deny the fact this game was one worthy of greatness. Don’t believe me? This game (54 million) was the most viewed non-Superbowl television event since the Seinfeld finale in 1998 (75 million). I guess this goes to show how epic Seinfeld is. The Saints have turned a city once ravaged by Katrina and on the brink of self destruction, back into the proud and illustrious party we all know and love. I say Mardi Gras! (and no, you cannot get beads for seeing Big Show’s 54 D’s). It wasn’t all bad for Viking fans either. They will now all know the answer to a question in the 2011 edition of Trivial Pursuit: Who was the only quarterback in NFL history to end his career…twice…on an interception in the NFC title game? ⬇

✔ A passing grade for myself today for getting a high school student’s phone number at a bus stop and wearing a Jonathan Toews jersey to MRU. One act took a lot of balls and the other might turn into a date. Even though I’m scared she might be too old for me, a guy can hope can’t he?

✔ Wow. This can’t be right. Another check-mark for yours truly? Thats right ladies, the upcoming weeks of my life definitely deserve some recognition. My newly tagged Calgary nickname of “Holiday” has caught on nicely, and I intend to fit the mold. This weekend, two fellow sea creatures arrive in the big C for Oilers/Flames, good times, hearty laughter, and probably a few soda pops. To be honest, I’m scared for my safety as Sea Otter has been known to step outside the box. Stay tuned next week for an update, pictures and video from the weekend that was (or what I remember of it).

And last but not least, it seems fitting on the day Apple introduces the iPad, I announce something bigger. I have officially booked the best trip in human history. I’m going to leave the details vague to allow pictures do the explaining when I get back. I will provide a sneak peak exclusive to HSB. Key words: Gonzaga Bulldogs, Bandon Dunes, Golf, Alcohol, Shortys, Oregon Ducks, U.S. Open, Shortys, Olympics, Sunfire, Wolf Pack and Shortys. Look for Luke this time next month…as I hopefully survive my ordeal. One secret I will share…HSB has never been represented in photos better than what I have planned. Bonjourno.

This article has been brought to you by the letter W, for Wholy Fu*k: Luke’s word of the month for February. Because honestly, thats all I’ll be able to say come March.

Oh…and don’t think cuz I’m iced out I’ma cool off.

Arreviderci