Tik Tok on the Clock

David Lee Murphy once said “Some say true love, well it’s like a fine wine. It keeps gettin better, as days go by. Well i say Zim’s blogs, are also like a fine wine. They keep gettin better as days go by, without me writing one. After taking a little break, and re-assessing my life after this recent holiday debauchery, I have returned again with another article fo yo ass. Like Jordan wearin the four five. With a tik tok on the clock, 2009 came to a drunken end, and I became utterly ecstatic for a another great year ahead in 2010. I mean whats not to be excited about? Canada is going to win the gold at the Olympics, the Oilers are gonna get Taylor Hall in the draft, and from now on children can finally feel safe and sleep with both eyes closed at the neverland ranch. It would seem that this will be known as the year of the Sea Creature, as we have all let ourselves go and become hideous aquatic beasts, but according to the Chinese Calendar that will not be the case. Well, here it goes, and yes I’m gonna go there. Last year was the year of the bull. This year just happens to be the year of the TIGER. Not kidding either.

Well I guess I might as well start this article off on a sour note and talk about the hockey team from the City of Champions. That’s right, the Oilers. As I’m writing this, I find out that Khabibulin will miss another 12 weeks, as he goes for surgery to repair a herniated disc in his back this week. Awesome. Really. There is always a silver lining to every cloud. This now puts the Oilers in serious contention to obtain the #1pick in the draft this year and acquire a great young player, Taylor Hall. For those of you that watched the World Juniors and saw Hall showcase his skills, you know what I’m talking about. “All you Oiler fans out there, get excited! Taylor Hall is a monster and a stud!” That would be my best Pierre Maguire impression. But all kidding aside, with Eberle proving again what a clutch performer he is, and Hall with his skills and size, this could be the start of something good for the Oilers. After they cut the fat, meaning getting rid of guys like Moreau, Souray, Gagner, Horcoff (who am I kidding we’re stuck with him), Staios and a few others, its looking like the Oilers will be moving forward for once in a long time. As far as I’m concerned, the faster we get rid of Kevin Lowe’s team, and get Tambellini doing his thing with Quinn behind the bench, the faster we can watch the Oilers at least make the playoffs again, and who knows maybe a good run in the second season? So as the Oilers keep losing, (12 of their last 13) I just keep smiling, thinking of that #1 pick.

He already looks good in blue

Now I know everyone is still a little shocked that Canada lost to the USA in the final at the WJHC, but let’s face it, the better team won. The Americans were faster, hit harder, and just flat out hungrier for that gold medal. The American coach put it best when asked about the win after the game. A reporter posed the question,”With more skilled American junior teams in the past losing out in the early rounds of the tournament, what set this team in 2010 aside?” He replied “Simple, we played Canadian hockey”. And that pretty much summed up why our boys failed to win that elusive record setting sixth straight gold. I think this is good for us Canadians in a way. With the Winter Olympics starting in February, we look to our guys to make up for that embarrassing display of hockey in Torino, and bring home the gold. But mark my words, it will not be a cake walk. We may be the heavy favorites, but I’ll bet not one guy on that roster, or in Hockey Canada for that matter, is going into the Olympics with that mind set. Games against teams like the States, Russia, Finland and Sweden aren’t guranteed wins. I mean look what happened in 06. Lose to the Swiss 2-0 in the round robin and eventually losing to the ruskies by that same scor in the quarterfinals. That being said, I am more than confident in saying that Stevey-Y and his squad, picked the right squad to bring home the cheddar. I guess we’ll find out in February whether we’ll be golden, or not. Have fun sitting second row against the Swiss, Stingyyyyyyyyyyy.

Goin for Gold with a new look

You know what, I’m gonna keep this one short and sweet and finish this one by telling you all what I’ve learned so far this year. I’ve learned that no matter how big of a celebrity you are, and how much money and fame you have, you will die alone, probably overdosing on some sort of combination of perscription/illegal drugs. And if not, you will get caught cheating on your spouse and owe millions in lawsuits. I realized that when Jordan Eberle tied the game to send it to overtime, the entire country felt like they were right there on the ice with him. I learned that at least once a week, one of my 2 female room mates fail to realize that they have dropped a pair of underwear on their way upstairs with the laundry.  I learned that there is a whole new class of douche bag that Grande Prairie’s own don’t even hold a candle to. They are tanned, gelled haired, ripped, and live on the east coast of the United States of America, somewhere around New Jersey. I learned that if you drink enough beer and eat enough pizza to supply a small army every weekend, you will morph into a Sea Creature. And finally, I learned to practice safe sex, because sea creatures can have an oops too, right Seal?

Father and baby seal

This article brought to you by the letter A and the number 67,908. For Arribaderci!!! And the combined weight for all of those in the Aquarium.