Well ladies, isn’t this a great time of year?! A savage snow storm has blown through our province, leaving only the large lifted trucks to survive. For the first time in my life I’m contemplating becoming the chain smoking half breed that drives one. But none the less, the past week in the life of Luke has been nothing short of phenomenal! Kinda the same feeling Walks had as he pulled into Anzac a few weeks ago. Actually, I’m going to take it one step further…it was exactly the same feeling. Ah…the week that was. The bank account is a little emptier, the shortys are a little more satisfied and the beer is…well flowing as we speak. There is a lot of stuff to get to, so strap on a set and lets roll.

Keith Ballard. Ha! Come on guys, he didn’t do anything worth noting. Every goalie deserves a swift kick or slap or slash to the side of the head. Thats how they become who they are. Could you imagine what the world would be like having “normal” goalies? Could you imagine a “normal” Walks or Big Show? Didn’t think so. I say if anything, he woke Vokoun from the trance of poor play he was in. Hell, just for that I would give him a Norris vote.

Tiger Woods. Is a motherf*#@ing PIMP!!!! Enough said.

Grey Cup. I know there are plenty haters of CFL reading this, shaking their head in anger at the fact I even mention this on the Bun. But guess what…f*#@ you! The latest edition was one of the most exciting and unbelievable sporting events I have ever had the opportunity to witness. I too was once a hater, but soon came to realize the CFL is precisely  like my cock. It ain’t much, but you work with what you got. And soon everyone loves it. This is what our country gave us people! Get over yourselves for f*#@ sake. Since when do any of you have such over inflated egos that you are above the CFL? If anything, the majority of people reading/writing this are barely above the BRHS Royals.

Anyway, you guys always get me on such tangents…exactly…half of you don’t even know what that is, so don’t say shit about the CFL. You all know the embarrassing outcome of the game, so I’m not going to bore you with the details. What I am going to do is exactly what everyone doesn’t want me to. Hosting the big game in Calgary, I was able to witness Rider Nation first hand and I will tell you what, I haven’t experienced anything like it. You can call it bandwagon jumping, fair enough. But when you don’t have a CFL team to cheer for (as I do), I was sucked into the mayhem of Green Pride. These people were the biggest idiots, yet proudest fans I’ve seen. This is what sport is about: bleeding for your team. If 50,000 people want to paint they extremities green, drink obscene amounts of Pilsner and wear a frozen watermelon on their head, I say good for you! We always complain fans in Canada do not create an atmosphere comparable to the NFL, NCAA or Champions League in Europe. Hello shit-heads. If every fan in Canada was more like members of Rider Nation, we would be damn close.

And now the apex of it all. I love my Ducks. What the hell is he talking about? All I can say is it was love at first sight. I can’t explain the feeling, I just hope and pray each and every one of you can experience it before you pass on…as in grow up. As mentioned above, my entire life I have been completely lost when it comes to every variety of football; searching for a loyal companion. I have my Leafs on the ice, Derek Jeter on the field and Phil on the course, yet not a soul on the gridiron. But I have finally found my saving grace. The University of Oregon Ducks. After listening to the build up every morning on the Dan Patrick Show for the game between Oregon and Oregon State, I was intrigued. By the way, a shout out to the Dan Patrick Show. If you’re not a loyal viewer, open mouth-insert cock. After watching what they call “The Civil War,” I was hooked. As all of you are my witness, I will be attending the 2011 Civil War on Nov. 26 at Autzen Stadium in Eugene, Oregon.

Here he goes again. Luke is being “that guy.” Blah blah blah this and that. You know what, I hope you all choke on a f$#@ing tall hard one because I can read each and every one of your minds. This is what I have to look forward to, while you will be sitting in a pile of mediocrity.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35ZD0WlmwSI]

This article has been brought to you by the letter E…for En Fuego. The word of the month for December. Await my arrival in God’s country December 18th cum stains and be ready to throw down. I almost forgot…this is for Big Show for putting me in the mood I’m in right now by beakin’ football. I hope you have dreams about loving my Ducks…Rose Bowl Champs bitch.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hrjpe1VCNg]