Bud Camp 09

So i thought I’d take a stab at writing for the famed website we all know and love, and Uncle Darren was kind enough to give me a trial run. Shout out to old balls. My first piece will let you guys in on my trip to Bud Camp 09: A Wildlife Expereince.

The trip started on a sour note as my companion and I (Kolby Collins) had to catch a flight destined for Ottawa at six in the morning. This isn’t too early i suppose, but seeing how you are suggested to be at the airport an hour before departure, it made for a pretty long first day. We arrived in our counrty’s beloved capital five and a half hours later, only to be greeted by six very attractive young females and soon forgot the shitty flight here. Next it was off by bus to the secret location of Bud Camp 09. After an hour long drive out of Ottawa we arrived at an outdoor resort in which Budweiser had rented for the weekend. The bus pulled up to the big wooden bud camp sign, as seen on commercials, and to our surprise there they were. The reason we fought so hard to win the trip. Not one, not two, but fifty smoking hot broads screaming and jumping up and down in those tight little red short shorts. Running through them gauntlet style was, to say the least, awesome. After the pandemonium died down, it was off to our cabins to drop off our stuff then head to supper/multiple beers. We shared a cabin with two other dudes, who were actually from Edmonton which was kinda cool. Shout out to Phil and….the other guy.

Now is where the first night gets a little foggy. We ate supper and made out way into the drinking area. After many Buds, which were $4 apiece, we began to wander around taking part in all the activities they had set up. There was the armchair QB game on the Budweiser Big Rig, basketball nets set up, volleyball and hot tubs. While doing most of these things, our time was almost soley devoted to talking to the hot Bud girls, only to find out that they would not be drinking or staying out at the actual camp, or having anything to do with a bunch of slobbering drunk fools, other than entertain us with conversation. Which makes sense i guess, I mean it would count as prostitution right? So we decided to have a little fun when talking to these girls and not tell them one ounce of truth to who we were, or what we did. Like i said, the night got a little foggy, but I know that we had a good portion of these girls believing we were on a hit MTV show called Nitro Circus and we were a part of the skateborad gang Red Dragons. All in all it was a pretty fun night, and many beers were consumed.

The next day consisted of getting woken up by the sound of shreaking whistles at 7am, and six or seven broads screaming, “get up for breakfast”! After eating a light meal, it was off the the Ottawa river for what turned out to be a 5 hour white water rafting experience. A couple tips: don’t wear flip flops, and don’t fall/jump out of the raft in the rapids. I had been once before the trip so I already knew what to expect, but it was still a lot of fun. On the schedule for the afternoon was the team events. Everybody was divided into about fifteen teams of about fifteen people, and competed against each other in a series of mini games. Tug of war, mini paintball course, giant slip and slide bowling and a mini NFL combine were among the events taking place. My personal favorite was in fact the slip and slide, since I was promised one by Walks earlier on in the summer, yet never had the pleasure of partaking in one. That day ended being very physically drained, a little sunburned, and very thirsty. We attended the beer garden again that night, and it was more of the same as the night before. Both nights there was a cover band that performed very well I thought, and on Saturday night the big surprise band was the Stills. I didn’t reallt pay attention to them so I can’t say if they were good or not.

The next morning, again, we were woken by the stupid whistles and screaming, this time nursing a much worse hang over. We ate some grub, watched the closing ceremonies, and began a long day of travel back to good old Grande Prairie. All in all I’d say it was a good trip, it’s good to party somehwere other than Madhatters for once. Shout out to Madhatters. I will provide Walks with some pictures to post here on the bun, and perhaps the video we were given at the end of the trip that kind of sums up everything we did in the weekend. So now I guess I’ve popped my proverbial cherry of writing an article for the acclaimed bun and taken one step closer to becoming famous and starting my own entourage. I guess the only place to go from here is up?