About a month ago when I was settled in watching another Blue Jays loss. This loss was special though because it was to celebrate the World Series wins in the early nineties, or at least it was in anticipation for the big event that was about to take place. Throughout the broadcast players and commentators reminisced about how great winning back to back championships was and what it meant to accomplish that feat. With the like of guys like David Cone, Juan Guzman, Robbie Alomar, Joe Carter, Devon White, Paul Molitor etc. it’s hard to believe they didnt turn the tables and become a dynasty in the early ninties.

It was at that point when they started talking about past players that one of the commentators (I think Pat Tabler) started calling them by there past nicknames. Shortly there after they brought up a comparison of nicknames between todays players and the players of past. Aside from “Doc” it failed miserably in comparison to the likes of “The Terminator”, “Cone Heard”, “Crime Dog”, “The Ignitor”, “Boomer”, and of course “Bucket Head”.

It was at that point I started thinking about it and quickly pointed out to myself that not only do all of us have shitty nicknames but this entire generation does. Let’s look at this shall we just by going through my list (albiet small) of friends.

Jmoe is nicknamed Moeee or Jmoe
Stilwell is nicknamed Stilly
Roche is nicknamed Roche
Chapple is nicknamed Chaps (by most) and Lips by us
Zimmerman is nicknamed Zims
Hauger is nicknamed Trav
McNaughton is nicknamed Naughty
and of course every god given Walker it seems (at least in this area) is nicknamed Walks which gets really confusing when three of them play for the same hockey club…see last year for example. Poor cousin Cole was dubbed “Mike’s cousin” and now has to settle for “Spunky” when I’m around because I refuse to call him Walks as it sounds weird and confuses me quite easily

Granted there are some off the board nicknames like Slap, Peca,Wallace, Coach etc but very rare have we hit a home run and come up with something as magical as “Buckethead”…aside from “The Big Show“.

Needless to say why do we suck so much, now a days it’s add a “y” to the end of someone’s nickname and call it a second name. At the very least we could have reinvented ourselves after the muscle bound jocks off American Gladiators, I’ve always seen myself as a Nitro or Turbo or at the very least some gimmicky wrestling names like the Millionaire Dollar Man or Brutus the Barber Beefcake.

Then I got thinking a lot more and started wondering if girls have nicknames. We know full well most males call each other by there given nickname or at the very least last name but do girls walk into one of there femmy tickle fight parties and be all like “Hey Buckethead, how’s child birth?” In all my years of being friends with the opposite sex I can’t sit here and recall one nickname, for the love of god maybe someone can help me out.

Needless to say I’m open to listening to suggestions for some better and much improved nicknames for me, yourself, or any female I may or may not know.