Had the privledge of being in Oil City Roadhouse this past Saturday night….shocking really, especially considering that it seems like it’s the only place we go on Jasper. Anyways it was much of the same, drinks, girls, stupidity, lies, etc. Most nights I wouldn’t have a tough time putting up much of an argument from someone if they claimed we were the biggest donkies in the bar but my nod for jackass of the weekend goes to the guy who is apparently some big time hockey star in Red Deer.
It’s one thing to lie to impress broads, I couldn’t count on both hands how many stories I’ve heard of people I know pretending to be something of a little more substance, hell this past weekend I was apparently hanging out with the leading money winner on the Nationwide Tour and the owner of Tropicana (which I later found out was supposed to be Encana). I won’t even get into this past Canada Day in Fort McMurray when I was Matt Walker for the night only to be called out by the largest girl in the bar about the lack of shape I was in. Ouch, but funny none the less.
But at least when something like this occurs its either a running joke because its completely ridiculous or the one running it has at least the faintest knowledge about who he’s pretending to be. Saturday night some skinny meatball approached a couple of us claiming he stopped a couple of his friends from beating some of us up and then proceded to ask if we we’re hockey players. “Yup” we all said and he replied with a “cool, me too.”
In typical hockey talk fashion we ask, “Yeah, where do you play?”
Buddy responds, “I’m playing double Junior A in Red Deer”.
Ok, we’re all drunk I can understand screwing up the first time so we had to ask him again and he again responds “double Junior A”.
“There’s no such thing as Double Junior A buddy” we say, to which he responds “Oh I meant Junior A in Red Deer”.
Now anyone who plays or has played in the AJHL or even follows it remotely would know there isn’t a god damn team that exists in Red Deer. Stretching the truth happens, trying to impress girls happens, but clean up your act a little, you dont need to lie to a bunch of drunk guys claiming to be a hockey player. At the very least do some research or know something about what you’re pretending to be or at least be like me and not be able to speak English by the end of the night.
At least I wasn’t drunk enough to see the cops harass the Oilers Glencross about jaywalking, honestly isnt there people being stabbed on Whyte Ave, that seems a touch more important then having 4 cop cars arresting people for jaywalking.
Walks
My fights, I mean Matt’s latest fiasco’s against the Blue Jackets have been uploaded. Also I uploaded the magic we witnessed across the street a couple weeks back, being homeless, getting drunk at 10am, and smashing your head on the pavement makes for some great entertainment.
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